Perscribed Klonopin after bad drug experience

[scorpiogrl]

I had a really bad experience with an edible of marijuana. I had more than i probably should've and underestimated it, and when it hit me, basically i felt like i was dying. Passing out, losing consciousness and vision, blacking out, running around street in night screaming, had to to go to hospital in an ambulance. I've smoked weed for years before this and done other drugs and i don't know why it effected me like this but yeah i guess i was in a pretty bad mental state before it so yeah. In the ambulance I felt out of my body and had my eyes closed and thought i was dying seeing my life flash before my eyes and my soul was leaving my body. I know it sounds dumb because it was just an edible but yeah. I remember feeling tingling in my head, officers were talking to me, i had to try really hard to look at them it's like I couldn't see mentally see i could visually see if that makes sense.
Anyways, after that fucked up experience I wake up next few weeks after were hell. I started having grainy static vision, "visual snow", and really intense flash backs to the experience, have the same passing out feeling and visuals idk. And experiencing really bad depersonalization constantly, like i am out of my body, looking at a tv screen, not being able to see or hear normally. Along with all that i was just losing my shit, having panic attacks to the point where i thought i was having a heart attack and couldn't breathe. A lot of er visits.
Started taking xanax, ativan, and eventually got prescribed klonopin for the panic attacks. Now i'm addicted to benzos, i tried to just stop taking the klonopin because it makes me depressed and suicidal i've noticed but i found out how bad the withdrawal is, so i'm back on .5 mg a day. I'm trying to taper off. The klonopin (clonazepam) has got rid of my visual snow but as i taper down it comes back and when i was in withdrawal my eyes would twitch, have stabbing pain, really bad visual snow, black floaters, tunnel vision, etc. On klonopin my vision is ok. I'm slowly safely tapering now.
I really wish i never started taking benzos, it's really just dragged out this whole episode when i could have just rode it out. But now i am worried there is something seriously wrong with my vision. I went to eye doctor my eyes are fine.
Basically i'm looking for help. Will i ever be able to get rid of my visual snow naturally and should i be worried about going blind. I can handle the dp/dr now, even though it sucks. I feel like i lost myself to this episode it was pretty traumatic, since i convinced myself i was dying. I almost didn't graduate high school and was at a mental hospital because of this. But it's okay i've learned a lot and I just want to come out of this, and I managed to graduate.
If you have any advice or personal experience i would appreciate anything. i just feel alone and crazy. I want to be able to see normally again and get off these benzos.

 

[chemctrl]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have much to offer besides my own experiences.. as a teenager I did many hallucinogens, and after a particularly bad experience I was left with somewhat similar "symptoms". Persisting visual disturbances, occasional anxiety attacks. I didn't take the benzo route, hell I didn't take any route. I'm sorry to say, nothing helped but time. I won't lie, for me it took years for the visuals to go away completely and sometimes I think i still get trails, but they did go away. unfortunately this is just one of those things where you just have to ride it out. I'm not a doctor, but I wouldn't worry so much about your vision. just give it time.

 

[herbavore]

Wow, that was a really intense experience. The best thing that you can do IMO is to be completely drug free and to engage in everything that is available to counteract anxiety--mindfulness, meditation, CBT, conscious breathing etc. Train your mind to control anxiety without drugs. The skills you gain will take you much further than simply recovering from this.

 

[Erikmen]

Indeed. And if I were you I would try to find a good neurologist. If that is persisting so much like you have described it could be something that you can treat differently.

I have once experienced something similar to what you described except for the snow vision but I had totally lost control of myself and have had the worst bad trip. I couldn't tell if the size of hands were equal and would have episodes of depersonalization. A couple of days after I had the episode I lighted a cigarette and started to feel all of the above once again but for a shorter period of time.

I suggest that you look for a specific kind of doctor or doctors and run few exams to see if everything is alright. Sorry to hear about that. It can be devastating to lose control of who you are.

 

[9manicxhispanic4]

I just want to chime in and say that you should get on a regular excercise routine. Hit the weights hard and start running man and take vitamins like vitamin b's and magnesium. It helps promote gaba and shit like that which is crucial for replacing natural occuring amino acids while you're tapering the benzos.

Get out there man and stay sober.

 

[deadendgame]

hey, don't get it twisted. those benzos have side effects too. actually theyre even worse. are you addicted to benzodiazepines? listen, you need to tell your doctor that you're addicted to benzos so he can help taper you off. benzo withdrawal is hell from what I heard. about the vision, you need to see an opthamologist. he is the one that specializes in eye problems. not optometrist, the one who makes glasses. i understand your frustration. I know. No one told you benzo withdrawal would be this bad, but now you know and maybe you won't do it again