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Mdma recovery! Please help.. anyone with similar experience ? Please! This is hell

Also I live in West Virginia doctors and therapists suck here. I talked to one counseled twice and all she did was give me papers on anxiety and breathing techniques. No amount of talking about this is going to help me. If there is no meds that can help and I'm just suppose to except who I am now and move on then I can't. Sorry but I can't. This is inhumane to live like this.. Like I literally feel like I died that night and went to hell. I can't function like this.
 
I feel the exactly the same as you, I'm in survival mode. You've got to have a little bit of hope that things will improve! Did you read skeeto222's posts? He felt exactly the same he even experienced some physcotic symptoms but he came through it
 
I would get hormones tested and see a psychiatrist who is familiar with the neuroendocrine system. They are difficult to find though.

Depressive episodes do not just happen out of thin air

It wasn't out of thin air.. I had a 4 day mdma binge and it drained all my neurotransmitters
 
Because out of whack Testosterone/cortisol/pregnenolone or thyroid levels can cause all kinds of mental issues and the mental issues themselves also perpetuate the hormonal disturbances.

Whatever you do do not commit suicide. You have not tried even a single treatment. There are so many treatments:

Medicine can include psych meds or hormones. There are also various supplements to balance things naturally

I have experienced transient relief with hormonal manipulation. In fact, I managed to relieve myself of anhedonia completely way at the beginning of LTC. I too never had DP/DR (except recently since after ketamine infusion which didnt work but that is subsiding)

I know cotcha does not believe in the HPA dysfunction theory but its one thing that should be tested for. Unfortunately, this gets into the "gray area" of medicine. It is a thing but vastly oversimplified in most places if you look it up.

TLDR: MDMA affects the pituitary/hypothalamus and the inputs to these regions.

What do the pituitary and hypothalamus control? They control things like LH and ACTH and TSH which are responsible for testosterone, cortisol, pregnenolone, and thyroid. Now these hormones downstream themselves feedback into the brain and affect neurotransmitters just as neurotransmitters affect these hormones upstream. Theres also a ton of other stuff going on.

Keep in mind I am not a doctor but I urge you to see one and get some hope. However, please be aware that doctors may still say "evrrything is normal" even if its not technically true. This is why you need to see a very good psychiatrist that knows these things.

YOU WILL NOT BE THIS WAY FOREVER.

When I found out what I was suffering from it sort of calmed me down.

My emotional numbing was the first thing to go away btw.
 
And unstable lobster.. so do you still feel the same with no improvent since your mdma usuage ? How long ago was it for you? How much did you do for how long ? I just can't except that I'm going to be like this forever
 
Socrilus I'm pretty sure they tested for everything possible when I went to the hospital and stayed in a pysch ward... also what were you suffering from socrilus ? Did you even do mdma ? And how long did it take for emotional numbness to go away ? That's really the only thing I'm suffering from severely. Besides sleep and the sleep is getting better, I feel like anyways. Even though I never feel tired.. I can still manage to fall asleep.
 
Search "skeeto222" in the search bar and pull find them. He had the exact same symptoms but managed to come through it in 6 months
 
Socrilus I'm pretty sure they tested for everything possible when I went to the hospital and stayed in a pysch ward... also what were you suffering from socrilus ? Did you even do mdma ? And how long did it take for emotional numbness to go away ? That's really the only thing I'm suffering from severely. Besides sleep and the sleep is getting better, I feel like anyways. Even though I never feel tired.. I can still manage to fall asleep.

Are you sure they tested those things? These are not very common routine tests they do in general. Do you know exactly wtf was tested at the hospital?

My emotional numbness went away after around 6 months

First 3 i was just like you are right now.

Next 3 months I went from 0% to 50% functioning. This required taking all kinds of supplements, exercise, etc and I also benefitted from a hormone pregnenolone given by my doctor though. But I had my levels checked before embarking on that as hormones are very serious supplements. If the dosing is off it actually created slight DP/DR

The recovery rate in the beginning was slow then became really fast and now ive plateaud at 60-70%.

My point is find a doctor who is experienced with these LTCs. Im lucky that I found one and that helped to make some progress. My issue right now is nothing is helping on a consistent basis. Im getting windows here and there.
 
Hey I'm at 1 month 2 weeks here completely unable to function in any way. Suicidal thoughts are natural I think when it's the last sense of control you have.. I think about it a lot too but let's postpone that for now? It's still an option later but this your life.

Right now I'm feeling particularly horrible but I wanted to say PEOPLE DO RECOVER FROM THESE EFFECTS!!!

How's your living situation? You said that you moved in with your mom and people are not understanding. I too have to stay with my mother now because I can't even do daily tasks like getting groceries bought. People (on this forum also) who have not experienced this level of sickness do not comprehend it's not a matter of will.
I'm not sure what I will do with my apartment after summer but it does help take off pressure that I'm not expected to function. I'm wondering if you feel like you're "allowed" to be sick?
Recovery might take longer than we like to hear but it won't always stay this intense. It's just a marathon of suffering...
 
I know people do recover but I just feel like I'm not going to be one of them because of how much I did.. 4 day binge.. 6 pills each day probably.. not even for sure but it was a lot. What do you mean do I feel like I'm allowed to be sick ? I told my mom it could take a year to recover but she still doesn't fully understand what I'm going through, she just thinks I have normal depression and she's like I've went through this before and everyone just keeps pushing meds. I'm going to stop taking my Wellbutrin though. And socrilus did you do mdma ? Or did you just have a hormon problem? I'm taking tons of vitamins.. I've been going on two short walks a day also and I'm going to try to start going to the gym starting today.. if I can force myself to go every day it would be a miracle though
 
Going for 2 walks a day is great, stick to your routine and you'll start recovering in no time??
 
I know people do recover but I just feel like I'm not going to be one of them because of how much I did.. 4 day binge.. 6 pills each day probably.. not even for sure but it was a lot. What do you mean do I feel like I'm allowed to be sick ? I told my mom it could take a year to recover but she still doesn't fully understand what I'm going through, she just thinks I have normal depression and she's like I've went through this before and everyone just keeps pushing meds. I'm going to stop taking my Wellbutrin though. And socrilus did you do mdma ? Or did you just have a hormon problem? I'm taking tons of vitamins.. I've been going on two short walks a day also and I'm going to try to start going to the gym starting today.. if I can force myself to go every day it would be a miracle though

Yes I did do MDMA. 1 pill of like 100-200 mg. Thats all just 1 pill.

Then I recovered from the initial problem in 1 week. A few weeks later when i was normal again the problem got retriggered full force by weed/alcohol. Then I found out I have hormonal imbalances.

I had the exact same symptoms of emotion numbing in the beginning

Im not saying you have that problem but just to invesigate with a GOOD doctor that knows how to treat it.
 
My optimism regarding this waxes and wanes too but time will tell. I might have to consider medication also but I'm afraid it will just complicate things. I did a two day binge with no food, sleep and 2 glasses of water I think... mixed alcohol, mdma (both crystal and unknown pills), amphetamine and adderal. And I had taken a few benzos before the partying, which I forgot about. I know that whole weekend was idiotic but it is what it is. Sounds like you had a pretty wild time too......

My symptoms are different though..out of curiosity did your state change when you started the medication and how far in the comedown were you?

I would see a doc about the cartilage thing btw if it bothers you. That should be easier to figure out than this brain-nonsense.

I try to go for a walk or jog when I can and eat healthy but honestly I think it's just mainly time that will help. Whatever helps get through the days... another one over soon.
 
I think I have done the most out of anyone.. I'm screwed.

Not at all - trust me, there are some serious abusers out there. I was doing 10 pills a night multiple nights in a row when I was 15.

It sounds like your mom is toxic? Someone needs to explain to her this isn't a "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and you'll be fine tomorrow" kind of thing. Recovery is very gradual and I think the patience of your family could really help you.
 
My friends did roughly the same amount of everything and they were back to work the next week. Although I do regret this as I don't even normally use drugs it is so bs...
 
It's hard to say, SSRI's are known to cause suicidal ideation and can also cause sleep disturbances. You're experiencing both so taking Prozac could possibly exacerbate your symptoms, but it might relieve them. It's a gamble
 
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