Do you tell your significant other about you're substance abuse?

[Havocsfool]

I've been taking kpins in an effort to get off opiates/Kratom and my gf can tell I'm fd up, where as on opiates she thinks I'm normal. I've just been saying that I'm drinking again. Do you tell your partner about your problem and did it help? She hasn't even smoked weed, so I feel like she won't understand but god damn. It would be good to have someone close to help me thru.

 

[herbavore]

Give your partner credit (and your relationship credit) for being able to deal with this as adults, no matter how scary it is to contemplate. She will no doubt be scared, probably angry, but if you approach it expecting a certain amount of that you will be able to stay calm and let her know you need her support. Let her know that you are struggling, that it is a fragile time. Ask for what you need from her but don't forget to also ask her what she needs from you. Relationships need honesty to thrive and grow.

 

[Havocsfool]

Thank you for you're input.

 

[simco]

I agree with herby...if your relationship is anything more serious than a casual hookup, getting that honesty out there is (IMHO) a good idea. One of the great things about recovery is blowing all our lies and secrets away (or at least most of them )...it's a huge relief.

 

[AnythingEverything]

I have been clean for most of our marriage (16 years) with 2 relapses. The first time I did eventually tell him, this was 4-5 years ago and fairly short lived (pills - opiates and benzos) and I checked myself in to detox etc and stayed on suboxone for 3.5 years and didn't put a foot out of line. But he has made my life hell because of it and I've felt like a criminal in my own home, couldn't even go to the gym without getting accused to the point I can rarely go anywhere without massive anxiety .

Now I've relapsed on Iv heroin and he cannot know. I know what you mean, I sit here and cry because I wish I could just tell him but I can't even imagine life if he knew. My track marks are getting so bad, I need to do something or I'm going to be found out. In this situation I can't tell him, life for me and the kids wouldn't be worth living unless he sorts his own issues out.

But yes, if you think your partner can in anyway handle it, it would definitely be nice to have some support. It's a very hard one . Best of luck