Ugh I'm going to regret posting this lol

[ABetterWay]

I have such a hard time sharing poems I wrote period, but also, I always wonder, if I should decide to publish my poetry one day, I get paranoid about my anonymity being ruined even if only to a few people, should anyone see it posted online somewhere.

But honestly, that's probably me trying to justify why I shouldn't post it.

So anyway, today is the one year anniversary off the suicide of someone I love and miss, and am so filled with sorrow, regret, and just bottomless grief. A mourning with no sun rise yet.
*******

Rusted heart
Encrusted in shame
Once entrusted with souls...
now taking blame.
Get in line -
Give it to me
Put it at my feet to lay
Unable to process or play this game
Seeking non-existent better way
Some tactical errors don't turn out OK
and sometimes 'what ifs' consume the brain
Chains on hearts
as they fall apart
and burn away from their iron captors
Links holding strong
but no match for ashes
A pile of pain lain at my feet
for the slain future the Dead won't meet
Drop to knees
Can only weep
Can barely breathe
Can barely see
What's the 'Why?' again?
Remind me, please
Yet the world keeps spinning
or maybe just me.

 

[Cogari]

I'm glad you put this up, because I think this is a very good poem. Mournful and powerful, this is better than quite a few pieces aspiring poets I know make. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[ABetterWay]

Thank you for the kind words especially given today is an achy hearted day and I already an not really comfortable sharing things I wrote. I appreciate your comments muchly

Xoxo

 

[ABetterWay]

The rules here state not to have more than 3 threads of your writings ion the front page at once, barring circumstances beyond your control such as an older thread of yours being bumped back up. So I'll post this here.

Probably I will end up deleting some crap I write here, as I've done many times before on other sites lol.

That's easier if I'm not quoted by responses.

This is not related to the first one and ids quite old actually (written in my mid teens).
******

The moon slid past me
as the void sucked me in.
The groans grew louder
with each foot I gained into this place.
I probed my brain for an explanation,
and found,
as usual,
that I didn't have one.
Then added to the groans were voices like I had heard many, many times before -
in my head;
Screaming and cursing and pleading,
and some were just plain demented.
I stood there, naked,
exposed to these elements for quite some time;
and so I absorbed them,
and raised them like my own.
Someone saw me
and warned me to get out while I could still stand
But when I tried to turn around,
the floor seemed to suck me in,
like quicksand,
and I became one of them.
All feelings lost;
and this is where I live,
now.

 

[Traumadol]

nice stuff 2 read
thx !

 

[ABetterWay]

Thanks, Traumadol....clever username by the way! I like plays on words.

I am glad you liked it.

Xo

 

[Cogari]

I really like this one as well, the structure is made so that you get pulled in entirely, reading through the flow of your thoughts at a kind of flowing pace. It conveys vulnerability and a state of mind incredibly directly, you get swallowed into the poem entirely, which I personally think is a very good thing (y)

 

[Captain.Heroin]

strong beginning and ending, but could use some work

thanks for sharing!