Hi guys,
I've been on and off benzos for years, had a 6 mo break and now on them to help me sleep. I have a solid tolerance where I need anywhere from 10-25 x 5mg Nitrazepams to put me solid to sleep. This is clearly not sustainable so I'm looking at other means including CBT and such
One thing I did notice, is that the following morning after taking 10-25 x 5mg (about once a week maybe twice tops)- I always woke up much more alert, more pushy/motivated to go gym (interestingly; my strength suffers), I'm more likely to talk to others, little or no depression, huge appetite increase, and in general increased motivation to get things done. As the day wanes on this fades pretty quick and is replaced with standard benzo hangover, decreased mood (lasts few days), strong desire to nap throughout the day, splitting headache, affected memory, decreased or no motivation to do said set out things.
The closest I've gotten to replicating this 'motivation' spike without benzos, (usually between collecting a prescriptions), is constantly going to the gym, regardless of how I feel- (but there are days when I wake up with ZERO energy so rolling out of bed to gym feels or seems almost impossible). Sometimes/often even If I push through this I'll arrive to university feeling almost completely flat, tired, poor appetite (improved if I go gym) lacking strong motivation-- Perhaps this is connected to withdrawals?
Currently I take melatonin, the once or twice a week use of nitrazepam, nexium for reflux, and 40mg of lexapro
What do you guys think could be cause of this odd massive behavioural/motivational change? Didnt think benzos can feed motivation to you but same time rob it later?
One other thing I noticed is, often, but not always, suddenly find myself lit up with more motivation to do redundant boring things whilst on my way, or coming back from picking up a bottle of nitrazepam
I've been on and off benzos for years, had a 6 mo break and now on them to help me sleep. I have a solid tolerance where I need anywhere from 10-25 x 5mg Nitrazepams to put me solid to sleep. This is clearly not sustainable so I'm looking at other means including CBT and such
One thing I did notice, is that the following morning after taking 10-25 x 5mg (about once a week maybe twice tops)- I always woke up much more alert, more pushy/motivated to go gym (interestingly; my strength suffers), I'm more likely to talk to others, little or no depression, huge appetite increase, and in general increased motivation to get things done. As the day wanes on this fades pretty quick and is replaced with standard benzo hangover, decreased mood (lasts few days), strong desire to nap throughout the day, splitting headache, affected memory, decreased or no motivation to do said set out things.
The closest I've gotten to replicating this 'motivation' spike without benzos, (usually between collecting a prescriptions), is constantly going to the gym, regardless of how I feel- (but there are days when I wake up with ZERO energy so rolling out of bed to gym feels or seems almost impossible). Sometimes/often even If I push through this I'll arrive to university feeling almost completely flat, tired, poor appetite (improved if I go gym) lacking strong motivation-- Perhaps this is connected to withdrawals?
Currently I take melatonin, the once or twice a week use of nitrazepam, nexium for reflux, and 40mg of lexapro
What do you guys think could be cause of this odd massive behavioural/motivational change? Didnt think benzos can feed motivation to you but same time rob it later?
One other thing I noticed is, often, but not always, suddenly find myself lit up with more motivation to do redundant boring things whilst on my way, or coming back from picking up a bottle of nitrazepam
