watermelon14
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 16, 2017
- Messages
- 66
Preface:
I am diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Attack Disorder. Medications I've tried to help treat this (acquired either by doctor's prescription or attained by my own accord) include many "weaker" anxiety drugs as well as benzos: klonopin, valium, xanax, and ativan.
None of these drugs did anything at all for me, even after experimenting with higher doses. (I'm aware that these drugs aren't meant to be a "magic cure" for anxiety, but like I said, they literally did NOTHING at all for me.) However, there was one exception, and that was the ativan.
One particularly bad panic attack led me to check in to the ER - I felt like I was having a heart attack and was genuinely concerned that my life might be in danger. When I arrived, the doctor gave me one Ativan pill (I could have sworn he said 5mg when he gave it to me, but after doing subsequent research, it looks like Ativan doesn't come in a 5mg strength, so I'm not certain on the dosage) and within 30mins - 1hr, I was feeling completely better: no racing heartbeat, no chest pain, no feelings of panic.
After that, I was determined to tell my psychiatrist about my experience so she could prescribe me Ativan that I could take as needed - finally, I'd found a drug that actually worked!
So, I did just that and got my hands on a prescription for Ativan 1mg pills.
That same night, I can't remember exactly what happened but I began to feel anxious and got the feeling that a panic attack was on the rise. In an attempt to prevent a possible oncoming panic attack, I took one of the pills.
Thirty minutes later, I felt nothing. None of the calming, sedative effects of the drug that I was so sure I'd felt before. I became convinced that I must not have taken a high enough dosage. So I took another 1mg pill.
About an hour later, still nothing. I took another 2 pills.
Thirty minutes later, still absolutely nothing, and I began to feel frustrated. I know this next step was not a smart one, but in my desperate, anxiety-ridden state, I took the rest of the bottle of 1mg pills. So 15 pills, or 15mg total.
I remember still feeling nothing at all in terms of relief, but shortly after this I blacked out. I do, however, have some messages on my phone from that night as well as some memory of the night at certain times, so I'll share what I remember:
7:10pm: I send a text to a guy saying what's up and ask if I can come over to his house. He says that's fine and I tell him I'll be over there as soon as I finish eating dinner.
7:48pm: I text him and tell him I'm on the way over. (Note: I wasn't driving at all this night; my mom drove me and dropped me off at his house.)
~8:00pm: I arrive at his house. From this point forward, I remember very, very little. I remember getting on a trampoline in his backyard and having sex with him on it, twice, but it's more like I remember it as if someone told me it happened and I believed them rather than me actually being able to bring up a solid memory of the events that occurred.
~9:00pm: I arrived back at my own house, and I don't remember anything else at all from that night except that I must have either immediately or eventually gone to sleep.
The next day, I get that weird feeling like when you wake up in a stranger's bed after a night of drinking and don't remember a thing. I'm positive we had sex even though I don't remember anything about it. I wonder if it was any good.
Overall, I definitely don't recommend taking such a high dose of any benzo, especially if, like me, you have no tolerance. You will most likely just black out, nothing fun or rewarding in any way.
That's the end of my trip report, but I do want to mention this as well: After getting the next refill of my Ativan prescription (the doctor raised it to 2mg instead of 1mg since I told her it wasn't doing anything for me), I took only my prescribed dosage (2mg) and noticed that, this time, it actually worked to help relieve my anxiety and calm me down. Is there any possible explanation for the drug working the first time in the ER, then not working at all the night of the blackout, then suddenly working again at a therapeutic dose?
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ativan
substancecode_lorazepam
substancecode_pharms
substancecode_benzos
substancecode_gabaergics
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_neutral
roacode_oral
I am diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Attack Disorder. Medications I've tried to help treat this (acquired either by doctor's prescription or attained by my own accord) include many "weaker" anxiety drugs as well as benzos: klonopin, valium, xanax, and ativan.
None of these drugs did anything at all for me, even after experimenting with higher doses. (I'm aware that these drugs aren't meant to be a "magic cure" for anxiety, but like I said, they literally did NOTHING at all for me.) However, there was one exception, and that was the ativan.
One particularly bad panic attack led me to check in to the ER - I felt like I was having a heart attack and was genuinely concerned that my life might be in danger. When I arrived, the doctor gave me one Ativan pill (I could have sworn he said 5mg when he gave it to me, but after doing subsequent research, it looks like Ativan doesn't come in a 5mg strength, so I'm not certain on the dosage) and within 30mins - 1hr, I was feeling completely better: no racing heartbeat, no chest pain, no feelings of panic.
After that, I was determined to tell my psychiatrist about my experience so she could prescribe me Ativan that I could take as needed - finally, I'd found a drug that actually worked!
So, I did just that and got my hands on a prescription for Ativan 1mg pills.
That same night, I can't remember exactly what happened but I began to feel anxious and got the feeling that a panic attack was on the rise. In an attempt to prevent a possible oncoming panic attack, I took one of the pills.
Thirty minutes later, I felt nothing. None of the calming, sedative effects of the drug that I was so sure I'd felt before. I became convinced that I must not have taken a high enough dosage. So I took another 1mg pill.
About an hour later, still nothing. I took another 2 pills.
Thirty minutes later, still absolutely nothing, and I began to feel frustrated. I know this next step was not a smart one, but in my desperate, anxiety-ridden state, I took the rest of the bottle of 1mg pills. So 15 pills, or 15mg total.
I remember still feeling nothing at all in terms of relief, but shortly after this I blacked out. I do, however, have some messages on my phone from that night as well as some memory of the night at certain times, so I'll share what I remember:
7:10pm: I send a text to a guy saying what's up and ask if I can come over to his house. He says that's fine and I tell him I'll be over there as soon as I finish eating dinner.
7:48pm: I text him and tell him I'm on the way over. (Note: I wasn't driving at all this night; my mom drove me and dropped me off at his house.)
~8:00pm: I arrive at his house. From this point forward, I remember very, very little. I remember getting on a trampoline in his backyard and having sex with him on it, twice, but it's more like I remember it as if someone told me it happened and I believed them rather than me actually being able to bring up a solid memory of the events that occurred.
~9:00pm: I arrived back at my own house, and I don't remember anything else at all from that night except that I must have either immediately or eventually gone to sleep.
The next day, I get that weird feeling like when you wake up in a stranger's bed after a night of drinking and don't remember a thing. I'm positive we had sex even though I don't remember anything about it. I wonder if it was any good.
Overall, I definitely don't recommend taking such a high dose of any benzo, especially if, like me, you have no tolerance. You will most likely just black out, nothing fun or rewarding in any way.
That's the end of my trip report, but I do want to mention this as well: After getting the next refill of my Ativan prescription (the doctor raised it to 2mg instead of 1mg since I told her it wasn't doing anything for me), I took only my prescribed dosage (2mg) and noticed that, this time, it actually worked to help relieve my anxiety and calm me down. Is there any possible explanation for the drug working the first time in the ER, then not working at all the night of the blackout, then suddenly working again at a therapeutic dose?
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ativan
substancecode_lorazepam
substancecode_pharms
substancecode_benzos
substancecode_gabaergics
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_neutral
roacode_oral
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