meth and my endorphins

[holdonitsover]

I quit using about 3 months ago and ive just wanted to get some things off my chest, i dont care if anyone replies or whatever happens but im going through remission so. Whatever i was doing hard meth for about 4 years and i was fine up until about a year ago, i stopped sleeping a lot because the only way i could get to sleep was when the shit wore off, and i dont even think it wore off to this day, i went crazy i thought a lot of different things , a lot of people i used to know stopped talking to me so i thought "oh maybe im retarted" that wasnt the case i was just a methhead, i thought i could read minds or really just hear thoughts , how that started i dont know, i thought there were aliens ready and willing to just come pick me up and take me to meth heaven, they never showed up, im just about 4 months sober from it and im tryi ng hard to get over this schyzo psychosis thing and i really want to go to a psychiatrist or a therapist or something but im not really the type to need that shit, im just gonna pray my head gets better and i get my life back on track. Pray for me please , please and if you get a chance to do meth just dont take it ??

 

[watermelon14]

Good luck to you and good job being sober for four months, that's great!!

 

[CASAC IRONY]

I am a therapist that specializes in substance abuse & mental health, also a MSW.

I've been at the NIDA for brain scan studies, it's actually pretty cool to see.

Personally, I'll always be an addict so I can identify what you are talking about. I dislike your DOC as uppers really were never my thing, I loved H.

Anyway, I saw the brain scan of 10 methamphetamine users, from never to novice to full addicts. The 2 users that had never used but did were scanned, there was damage the FIRST TIME they ever smoked, I thought that was fascinating. It was pharmaceutical grade, not something from Mexico or some shake & bake.

*No other drug showed that on a scan. I can only imagine what street meth does to your brain.

I have royally screwed up my brain in general. I started using at 11, mostly to escape from anxiety.

Marijuana, heroin, benzodiazepines, methamphetamine, LSD, MDMA, cocaine, alcohol, PCP & ketamine were the drugs used. I only got to see Heroin, Meth, Marijuana & benzos.

Heroin PAWS can last 18 months after stopping the drug. I can only imagine how long term meth use can take to feel normal. Neither of us will ever fix our brain to a pre-usage state.

You really should talk about your feelings, I suffer from PTSD, Bi-Polar & severe anxiety.

Getting sober is the easy part, staying sober is the difficult part. Like Watermelon said, congrats! Just remember that the more time you give it, the easier it will get. That's coming from an addict in recovery & someone licensed in this.

 

[herbavore]

I am going to move this thread to Sober Living. Congratulations on quitting--I know it wasn't easy. The thing about quitting a drug, or drugs, is you have to ask yourself why they made sense in the first place. People that just use for fun either eventually walk away from them--not worth the problems of illegality, not worth the comedowns, not sustainable with other life goals etc) or they continue to use but with moderation and long breaks. But people who find that drugs solve a problem whether that is anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, restlessness, loneliness, disconnection from others or any combination of those have a much tougher time putting the drugs down even when they have stopped addressing the problems they seemed to help in the beginning.

So to deal with the next part of your recovery (cravings, doubts, symptoms of PAWS) you will have to really go deep inside and ask, what's missing? What hurts? What do I need and how do I create a life where those needs are more likely to get met? Everything you go through in recovery is valuable for life in general.