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You Right now V3 - A new Dawn, A new Bromance

I had one cat that learned to stretch up and open doors. She also peed in the toilet sometimes!
 
^ Clever :)

Buspersons Holiday said:
Eagerly awaiting the installation of a new cat-flap so I don't have to leave a door open & let all the heat out & the cold cold cold in
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My last cat (Twinkle, RIP) was a pro with cat flaps, but when my Mum moved house late in her life, she couldn't get one fitted in the bi-fold doors. So she had to open it everytime kitty wanted to wander outside. Upon discovering this, Twinkle decided for the first time in her life that she really wanted to come in and out of the house all the time, sometimes several times an hour. Usually it was just to stand on the step, have a sniff, then come straight back in. In out, in out, in out. It drove my Mum mad, but she still obediently got up to open the door every time. You should never disobey a cat's orders =D
 
Cat-flap has arrived, hopefully getting someone better at that shit to put it in tomorrow (hey, I'm, good at lots of things, but cutting things the right size & shape is not one of them)

Already actually have a cat-flap (well 'flap' is an exaggeration- it's a hole in the back door, the flap having disappeared about 15 years ago, the victim of what I had always thought was a big bullying neighbourhood cat, until it emerged after a pilled-up confession from first-born last year, was actually a result of mid-teenage drunken antics when I was at work ffs)

Why on earth I had the original installed in a door that had another door to indoors after it, I have no idea, but hopefully there will soon be a flap straight to the inside, & the back passage hole will be boarded up

Fnaaaar
 
herbavore said:
I had one cat that learned to stretch up and open doors. She also peed in the toilet sometimes!
Click to expand...

I don't know if mine peed in the toilet, but she kept sitting on the seat & making it all hairy, so lid stays down
Why am I talking about cats?
I don't even like them!
 
Well ..... Confession time ..... It's safe to say this, now only one of the pets concerned is with us any longer ..... But anyway, back when I was breeding gerbils, they were really just an experiment to see if I was ready for a dog yet. I figured if I couldn't keep gerbils alive, there was no way I could keep a dog alive ..... As it was, they all survived to ripe old ages (in gerbil terms) and so it was that I felt ready to accept the next level four-legged challenge. Then after dog #1, Piggy, white Bull Terrier Cross ?, came kitten #1, later cat #1, Chico, ginger tabby DSH ?; dog #2, Chloé the Wonder Dog, GSD Cross ?, contemporaries for awhile; and kitten #2, later cat #2, Spook, black DSH ? still alive.

Both my cats have been outdoor boys, eschewing litter trays for the Great Outdoors; but I don't doubt that Spook could piss in a toilet, if he wanted to. Chico was a bit more of a street moggy than Spook, and probably would have gone off on feline Vision Quests every summer if he had survived his freak accident. (In a strange twist of fate, he would reach out a paw from beyond the grave to save Spook's life when, incredibly, the same fate very nearly befell him, many moons later .....) My mother's cat Toby was very much a pampered pussy. Spook met him once, and humiliated him in his own home ..... Pooky just didn't know quite what to make of the strange creature that looked like another cat, a real, live one, yet had absolutely no fight in it .....
 
I live next to a very busy road with two simple cats. It's litter Box livin here. Sham always seems to be stuck on box duty. It's not my intention it just happens that way. :\
 
Simple cats? as opposed to what? cats that fly fighter planes? cats that built particle accelerators? cats with autism? (oh...wait.....like anyone, ever, anywhere, has ever encountered a cat that was neurotypical=D) flying cats that live a double life as super-dog (and no I don't mean courteney love here, I mean something with four legs, a tail, fur, that slobbers and barks....again, most definitely not courteney love) giant cats that carry pieces of string to wiggle around in front of people and make them go crazy instead of just ripping their faces off and lapping at the fountain of blood?)

Cats that gave birth to a litter who came up with the theory of relativity and the rest of them worked on the manhattan project Cats that would take over the world (again, my bad, all that would need is for them to evolve opposable thumbs)

I miss my last cat, poor girl became unable to eat and eventually died.
Last pet had 8 legs rather than 4. No tail, but a cute little pair of venomous fangs, used to have a Latrodectus spider, a brown widow. Bit me once and fuck me, felt like I'd been sub-fatally nerve-gassed and hurt ALL over! not a single bit of me that didn't ache like I'd been worked over with a claw hammer by a color-blind KKK member.

Unfortunately she, and her babies (she was obviously pregnant when I'd caught her) were all murdered by the filth after another illegal raid on my place.. They were warned were the spiders were, and the tank was quite obviously impossible to hide anything in, filthy donutmunching babyfuckers did it on purpose, slaughtered every single one, the mother and hundreds of little one:/
 
Limpet_Chicken said:
Simple cats? as opposed to what?
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Teaching elderly cats how to use a cat flap after not thinking through the fact they hadn't had an actual flap for many years, just a hole in the door (long story) now boarded up
Propped the flap open when I went away for Xmas as they hadn't sussed it in the 24 hours practice they'd had since installation & spent a lot of the time away worrying that the prop had fallen off, shutting the flap & them being either stuck inside shitting & pissing, or outside being pitiful

Prop had held up, flap training ongoing, but by jove, I think they've got it (mostly, after shoving them head first against the flap & through several times, in & out)

That's not all I'm doing right now, but that's quite enough 'excitement' for one post
 
Think that's fun? Try programming a smart cat flap to recognise a cat's microchip. This basically involves passing the reading device (which can be detached as long as it is fitted with a backup battery) over the back of the cat's neck, where its chip is -- a feat more easily described in words than performed in practice. Even in the photographs in the instructions, they have used a stuffed cat for this purpose.

Fortunately, barring exceptional circumstances, the procedure need only usually be carried out once per cat .....
 
My cats are too old for me to justify splashing the cash on technology, but fortunately they seem to have got the gist of the flap action
I no longer have to prop the flap open & I can say I'm very proud of them (even though I'm not a cat person)

Right now I'm going to bed in readiness for my one (short) day back at work tomorrow
Hoping the Chocolate Baileys is still in my desk drawer from pre-xmas naughtiness (& not my P45)
 
Just had my first smoke for a couple of months. Fuckin lush!!

Dunno what strain it is, but it's not stupidly strong and has a lovely minty flavour to the smoke which doesn't catch in my throat like much of the weed these days.

Normally, after a break this long, with the usual street weed around i'd have half a spliff and end up absolutely battered on the bed panicking about my heart beat (which is why I suspect that a lot current weed has been laced with synthetics)

But not this stuff. Perfect THC to CBD ratio imo and suitable for long smoking sessions where you just get more and more battered without it getting uncomfortable.

It's just nice to smoke a spliff and not be afraid of it - if you know what I mean...
 
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Shambles made me laugh so hard I pooped. DON'T MAKE SICK PEOPLE LAUGH! WTF is wrong with that boy!
 
I stopped laughing....

I only have so many pj bottoms.

Arse
 
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