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Heroin recovery

Bright_Star* said:
Thank you for your kindness - I try my best to ignore it, even though it's hard to just not feel hurt. To be honest I'm past caring about negative people now. But I'm worried about seeing them again when I go back to college now. Even though they are technically adults, they still think it's funny to bully someone who has issues and they don't understand what I'm going through! :mad:
Thanks for the links, I'll look at them and about the support groups, me and my mum will check them out later.
It's been about 2 weeks I'm sober but I'm still on medication to help with cravings, but I'm still getting them often :/ Any advice?
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Stay strong, don't listen to them, those people are just bullies. They just want to put you down, but you are better than them, so please don't give up on everything you've worked so hard on... Yes, it's hard... But we are all here for you. You can talk to me about it you know, and then we'll sort something out at the college... Maybe have a word with your tutor. We don't have to go into specifics, but we'll just notify him of the bullying?
 
Hi Bright Star,

I've been following your story starting with the thread your mom made, and of course, since you've joined and started this. And I just wanted to send you some love. I can sense the sincerity of your words, and the authenticity of who you are, what you want and where you're going, and what your family means to you. Even the handle you chose, bright_star. Idk. It's just lovely and evokes goodness.

Reading about what that girl said you makes me so mad. And listen, baby girl, it has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with them. Whether they say it because, like TPD said, they are trolls or get off on putting others down, or think it's cool to kick people while their low, it doesn't matter. All of it is ugly. And people see that. No one thinks that's cool, unless they too have hate in their hearts. Its drama and it's dumb and it serves no purpose. So please, if you ever see that girl and she causing you trouble or makes you question, for one single second, your worth, or makes you think about changing your life to avoid her, stop. Just stop and think to yourself 'what does this person's opinion mean to me?'

And as a general rule, unless this person is someone you care for, or you respect, or someone that wants what is best for you, the answer should be "not at all".

There is a quote that I love "We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach. And while I am not vain, and I don't get the sense that you are, the point remains the same: why would we care about the opinion of someone we don't even like? It's madness. The people closest to us know our heart, those are the people that matter.

Hold your head up high, focus on your goals, and fuck those people. Seriously. Their insides are ugly; and you, my dear, are a bright_star* A phoenix raising from the ash. Embody that power. What you're doing now shows your strength.

As a side note: You may even want to consider deactivating facebook for a little while. It's so negative, so often. I quit all the time. Just quietly deactivate my account when I need a break, and sometimes, yes, it's because life is tough and I need to lick my wounds without being bombarded with hate. There's plenty of really great blogs, forums out there to chew up your time. I really like instragram because I can cultivate the kind of influence I'm allowing into my life. After all, we become who we hang out with, what we read, and watch.

Wishing you all the best. If you ever need a friend, my name is Jordan and I'd be happy to be buddies. Love to you, girl. <3
 
toothpastedog said:
What medication are you taking to help with your cravings?
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I'm on methadone at the moment. It's different than what I had before, which was naltrexone (when I was having withdrawals) Now I'm just not trying to get off, but stay off. I guess it's something that all addicts struggle with? The constant cravings? Methadone is so different to heroin (to me) but what do others think?
 
Thanks Jordan :) you're really kind.
I don't care what they think, still it's hard not to be hurt by it a little...
I agree about there being a lot of hate posts on Facebook... I try to keep my time at minimum on facebook as it's so boring and negative now.
Again, thanks for your kind words, and you're right :)
 
Bright_Star* said:
I'm on methadone at the moment. It's different than what I had before, which was naltrexone (when I was having withdrawals) Now I'm just not trying to get off, but stay off. I guess it's something that all addicts struggle with? The constant cravings? Methadone is so different to heroin (to me) but what do others think?
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The cravings are something a lot of former heroin users struggle with at first. I found MBSR to be really helpful when I was on methadone at managing aversive mood states like cravings. Staying busy is really important, especially when you focus your time and energy into activities you find meaningful, enjoy and that bring you pleasure. The more time and distinct you put between yourself and your heroin use, the less craving you'll experience.

Methadone is very different from heroin. When on the right dose it should more or less eliminate cravings, so if you are still really struggling I'd suggest increasing your dose a bit. I found that I went up on my dose of methadone to about 90mg over the course of a couple months and then started going down. I probably spent most of the time I was on methadone at around 60-30mg. The dose that you find works best for you is different for everyone though.

The subjective effect of methadone is a lot more like a mild buzz compared to the at times intense high from heroin. But it is possible to learn to really appreciate the effects of the methadone - it is very enjoyable once you learn to appreciate it, but it is very different from heroin.

What are you doing to stay busy? What are you studying at college? If you enjoy learning and your studies, it will be a lot easier in terms of managing the cravings once school starts up again.

What are you doing for self care type fun?
 
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I'm trying to keep up my spirits I guess... I'm staying busy. I now have a youtube channel where I sing songs and stuff... Mainly Japanese vocaloid ones. Singing lets me send out emotion and express myself. I also like drawing, and the college I'm at is an art course. I like drawing anime and realism I guess mainly.
I have to go back to college next week. I'm dreading it. The same people managed to get on a different account and they basically said that they're going to beat the shit out of me when I come back to college... I'm scared and don't know what to do there. I think that person (I know who they are, actually it's 2 people) will have already told everyone in the class about my heroin addiction and is going to ruin my reputation. And I don't want my tutor to know about it either because I don't want to get kicked out of college. I'm crying now - now the bullies have something to use against me :( How they even found out in the first place I don't well I think I do know, this guy who had the same dealer (he does weed) must have known. Right now I just want to shut the world out, but I know it's not possible.
Other than that, I've just been trying to keep myself busy and take my mind off things.. Yeah, you're right about the methadone, you described the effect really well and in the past coupe of days I've upped the dose to about 80mg (90mg tops if I really needed it) and it seems to be working a bit better.
 
They are threatening to beat you up?? Seriously? Oh my god, lady, I want to fly there and take care of it for you.

But, I can't.

But I can tell you how I helped another girl on an Internet forum where a man (not that he deserves the title) was harassing and threatening to stalk a very sweet girl that hung out on a site I do.

Learn your rights.

A quick google search tells me there are internet harassment laws in the U.K. And they define harassment as targeting an individual, calculated to alarm or cause distress, and was oppressive and unreasonable.

Sounds to me like exactly what these fucks are doing to you.

Learn your rights, learn what they (the powers that be) suggest you do, and document everything.

And I'd tell these girls that you've contacted authorities and will press charges for harassment.

YOU have done nothing wrong. You are seeking treatment and have your family's support. People will be on your side.

For the situation that I was involved with for that girl I mentioned, it went on for months and months and she tried to ignore and finally it pissed me off so bad I posted all of the information she needed to file a claim. The man that was harassing her never posted again.

These people are cowards. Use your power. Ask you mom for help to learn your rights. I'll even help from here. You do not have to live in fear. Fuck those people.
 
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Protection from harassment act 1997:

The order can be especially useful in preventing continued stalking and harassment by defendants....

Harassment: a summary only offense carrying a maximum of six months imprisonment.

Fear of violence: an either way offense, carrying a maximum of five years imprisonment and or fine on indictment.
 
That is awesome fucking advice jordan! I don't think anyone could have put it better.

Bright_Star*, I am SO sorry I overlooked your post earlier. Luckily we have a lot of awesome people who hang around here :)

This is really serious though. Your well being when you go back to college is paramount, particularly because you are so early in recovery and in a very, very vulnerable place right now. You need all the help and support you can get. Definitely talk with you mom about this. If you have a therapist or a doctor, I would definitely have them support you with getting the resources from your college to deal with this kind of harassment. Jordan gave great advice, please do try and look into what she's suggesting.

jordanwonder said:
These people are cowards. Use your power. Ask you mom for help to learn your rights. I'll even help from here. You do not have to live in fear. Fuck those people.
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Amen!
 
this is the site I found that information from. I don't know anything about the UK, so my google search was very general, hopefully i'm not too far off base:

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/stalking_and_harassment/

I know it's scary. but really, people that act that way are cowards. $10 says if they even knew that you were researching the laws and documenting everything they'd stop bothering you.

another of my favorites: "do no harm, but take no shit"
 
And lastly, (and then I'll stop blowing up your thread), at least here in the US, schools take stuff like that VERY seriously, depending on your comfort level, I would consider letting the school know. Last thing any school wants is bad PR in regards to bullying.
 
That is great advice Jordan. Don't worry about the multiple posts in the thread - know you're giving GREAT feedback :)
 
Nothing wrong with this quality in you :) Frankly, young people in recovery need all the support they can get - particular with stuff like heroin use.

I get that way whenever someone is being a prick to someone else too though. I have zero tolerance for that kind of bullying bullshit. Totally unacceptable. It's just a matter of how to handle it most skillfully (which is generally a lot easier than most people might thing, it's just a matter of going about taking care of it with a cool, calm head).
 
Yes, please listen to these people, seems like they have all been through a similar situation. You are not the coward, they are. If you want, I will tell your tutor about the bullying myself, even if it means talking about your issues. This has got to stop!! :X
Honestly they are not even children, they are adults, and they still act like 5 year olds. It's ridiculous. I'll simply notify the tutor what is going on. But why do you think you would get kicked out? You are in recovery, so they'll be understanding, I'm sure.
 
Great advice. When you talk to people about this, put the emphasis on their harassing you. Use the word harassment. Stalking. Bullying. Abuse. Emphasize that you are no longer using heroin and you are working on your substance use disorder issues with your doctor Bright_Star*, but the overall point of the conversation should be to demonstrate what they are doing to you.

Take screen shots on your phone or computer of all the harassment they are giving you so you have evidence you can show the authorities. Fuck these people. They deserve whatever sanctions are coming to them. You're in the right, you're doing everything you should be doing. They're at fault.
 
I'd take screen shots on the original messages, a screenshot showing you blocked them, and them continuing on through another account. I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if Facebook can track IP addresses.

You won't be kicked out of school. You haven't done anything wrong.

If this is all too much to think about, maybe just let it go for a couple days and think about it.

And although it's frowned upon around here, if you wanted to become friends on Facebook, I'd be happy to reply to their posts with the fact that its harassment and the consequences. Perhaps a little scare is all they need. That way it's coming from someone other than you. Like I said, that alone worked for the situation where I helped the girl before.

Shoot me a pm if you think that would help. I promise no harm will come to you by being my friend. I've made all sorts of friends online. People that have stayed at my house. Nothing but love from me.
 
here's an update, because I haven't posted for a while (stressed about everything :( )
I went back to college monday. And the two bullies were a guy and a girl. Well the guy wasn't in but the girl was. She didn't really say anything to me or beat me up (I think she was too cowardly without the dude to back her up) but she kept giving me dirty looks and she had spread the rumour about my heroin use to almost everyone in the class calling me a junkie and sh*t like that, but she spread rumours about me to try and ruin my reputation :( And she did come up to me and she was like "oh what you gonna do today then? Overdose and die" and said that I would sell my body for dope (which is not true) and she kept going on that I stole her brother's bike, and I never did anything like that! I don't even know her brother. But I know her and the dude live in the town near college. Anyway, I think the tutors have been informed about what's been happening so they kept an eye out on the girl and maybe spoke to her? Idk but she is so childish. :(
I also got a letter from my tutor today that we have to have a meeting about my fall behind in work (because I obviously missed a lot of it and we're doing some project, and I wasn't in the first few weeks) But these meetings stress me out so much, I've had them before and I don't like having my family involved. So I just tore up the letter and I said to my mum, "you can tell them I tore up the letter, I don't give a damn." It's my message to them, you know? I'd rather have a meeting just by myself without my parents coming in, because it feels like college is impeding on my safe place, i.e. home, my family, etc. I know they want to help, but I hate feeling that people are shaking their heads at me in disappointment and pity, and ask me questions, and I find it hard to talk with my family there... (which they know) but it's the college... I just don't want to be there, but I have to. And I can't see myself in a job.. Haha. I don't really want to do anything, I mean I just want to stay home, and possibly do some creative work from home, with no boss or master pulling the strings. Luckily, one of my mum's friends was talking to me, and said that she would help me to self-publish this book that I'm writing, so the future looks hopeful :)
Ohh, I've had enough of all this :( I just want somebody to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I hope it will be from now on.
Oh, and thanks Jordan! I'm reading up on some of the info you gave me now xx :) In the end, I don't care what those people think of me, they can say what they want I don't care, but if they try to hurt me, then I'm definitely going to call the police. You've been very helpful :)
 
You're doing great, just because these stupid idiots are trying to put you down, honey you need to know that you're stronger than them. They make you feel "weak", and "cowardly", but you are stronger than they will ever be. They are the cowards. And I think to be honest that this girl is just jealous of you and has now found something to her advantage so that she can make you feel like crap. But you're such a pretty girl, and you're intelligent, and you need to know that you have people behind you and supporting you, and we'll always be here for you. We'll get this sorted out, don't worry... Just look to the future xxx
 
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