• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Mental Health not taking me seriously - anxiety, panic, mood, anger, concentration, existance

llama112

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 26, 2010
Messages
4,471
Why don't doctors take me seriously?

I'm not the type that pushes for pills. I've been seeing the same doctor at a walkin clinic for about two years which IS regular for my area (shortage of family doctors).

In short, a list of my issues:
- anxiety every day (social anxiety mostly, GAD as well)
- panic attacks 2-3 times a day. I will faint/black out 3-4 times/week
- mild depression. I say this because sometimes I won't feel depressed but other times I will feel like it's the end of the world. I mean I've self harmed to take away the emotional pain which I'm pretty sure is a sign (I don't SH to die though)
- suicidal. although it is similar to the above, I have literally been to that point more times than I'd like to count. I was at the bridge and called my sister who talked me out of it
- mood issues. I can switch from being the happiest, most optimistic person you'll ever meet to the most depressed just at the flick of a button.
- anger issues. I can go absolutely crazy. I have: cut off half my hair (I have really nice long hair so that's not something I'd do), punchd holes in walls, threw my partner's favourite mug against his wall, smashed plates, ripped a cupboard door off it's hinge, endless thing.
- I can't concentrate on anything unless it's super concetrated (then please don't take me away from it)
- I'm either super passionate about things or I don't gave
- I have absolutely zero energy because my stupid panic attacks wear me out or my meds wear me out
- I can't sleep. For example, I woke up Friday, 6:30 AM for school. Sunday morning I still couldn't sleep. No substances with the exception of a couple drinks of alcohol on Friday night. I just stayed up all night. then my partner had to give me a ton of benzos so I could get to sleep (cuz sleeping pills don't work for me, the non-prescibed ones, for something that bad)

I'm on pregabalin (Lyrica) for anxiety. I also used benzos on occasion.

What am I supposed to do? I'm alienating everyone. I quit my FT job so I could go back to school for a year but now I'm going to be looking for a job again. I can barely deal with my day to day life going to school FT and working PT and how am I supposed to deal with a new job, a new situation? I can't deal with this!!!!

I miss class half the time. I cry during class because I'm an emotional mess. I miss work half the time. I can't do this. It's not me!!!!!

After a year long wait for a psychiatrist referral, it was "see another therapist". I said "I've seen five. each help a bit but I'm still here and desperate". her "well there isn't much else... unless you have panic attacks like three times a day then we'd try clonazepam but that's it" and I'm like "but what about my moods! and my concentration! clonazepam is just the start of that" (although I do think I could benefit from benzo therapy).
"It's all in your mind" and "you can get through it from talk". No. No I can't. I need a combo. I just want help. No one takes me seriously because I can make myself look presentable and honestly probably because I wear pink all the time and it looks cheerful even though I'm suffering on the inside.
 
There is just too much stigma on the benzos and I actually don't think they will help as a long term treatment for anxiety.

I did think for a multiple occassions that nothing is going to help me but the benzos but actually keeping out of benzos and other substances has improved greatly my daily life especially after starting ORT.

Have you been on any other treatment such as antidepressant, mood stabilizer or antipsychotic?

I have found out that a combination of antidepressant and antipsychotic (Cymbalta and Abilify in my case) has helped a lot with anxiety as well as weird mood swings, irritability and varied ability to focus as well as panic attacks.

It however took years to find a suitable combination out of different ones.
 
I have tried five different meds between SSRIs and SNRIs. The psychiatrist only suggested gabapentin which is just a worse version of pregabalin. Their only suggestion is "try Zoloft for longer". :( I might get an increase in pregabalin but that'll make me MORE tired.
I personally think I need a mood stabiliser and then figure out how to deal with my chronic fatigue but I have no clue how to.
 
Also I forget to mention that it is awfully frustrating trying to cope with all the symptoms while it seems that person on the other side of the desk doesn't understand at all that you are suffering and doesn't even bother to help you.

I wish they would explain more what they are doing if they actually are doing something...

Getting right diagnosis can take awhile also. I was treated as normal depression patient before they understood that I was actually suffering from bipolar disorder.

Chronic fatigue can exist because various reasons. Have you been through check-ups for somatic causes for that issue?

Have you been on modafinil?
 
You could probably get them in a few years, they will try everything else under the sun first, if you're lucky they don't try to push antipsychotics on you.

Try switching doctors, I've known people with ludicrous scripts (adderall+methadone+klonopin was my favorite) from pill pushers.

I've never gotten a benzo script, gapapentin works ok for me though. PCP is my favorite anxiety medication, works too well though (I act up.)
 
There is just too much stigma on the benzos and I actually don't think they will help as a long term treatment for anxiety.

I did think for a multiple occassions that nothing is going to help me but the benzos but actually keeping out of benzos and other substances has improved greatly my daily life especially after starting ORT.

Have you been on any other treatment such as antidepressant, mood stabilizer or antipsychotic?

I have found out that a combination of antidepressant and antipsychotic (Cymbalta and Abilify in my case) has helped a lot with anxiety as well as weird mood swings, irritability and varied ability to focus as well as panic attacks.

It however took years to find a suitable combination out of different ones.

Antipsychotics are bad news I'm on one most of the time for a psychotic disorder but if you don't have psychotic symptoms it is foolish to take them, too many (physiological) side effects.
 
Antipsychotics are bad news I'm on one most of the time for a psychotic disorder but if you don't have psychotic symptoms it is foolish to take them, too many (physiological) side effects.
I dare say that if you take antipsychotics without a psychotic disorder, that you could accidentally develop one! However, I started taking Quetiapine for sleep probs 3 years ago or more, and now I'm dependent on the shit! I'm currently trying to wean off, and have tapered from 150mg to 75mg. Some nights I make it with 50. Ever since vaping CBD crystals I have realized there are healthier ways of getting that super sleep. Now I vape CBD daily. It's cheap the way I do it!
 
^Yeah I take 50mg seroquel for sleep most nights, the fucked up thing is I can take crazy amounts of benzos and stay awake if I don't take the seroquel. Which is dangerous (amnesia etc.)
 
The doctors/psychiatrists keep pushing Zoloft on me and it's so frustrating! They say take clonazepam with it for a month or two but I'm like no I don't want to get addicted to clonazepam like that. If I'm on clonazepam therapy, that's fine, but that's different.

My current doctor is OK with giving me benzos for things like plane trips, etc. which is great. Like the occasional thing. Cool.

IDK about the fatigue thing. I'm on the lower side of iron but I take iron supplements and the doctors got me to get bloodwork and things seemed fine. When I said the Lyrica was making me more tired, my doctor said "well that's a common side effect of everything, you just have to live with it" and truthfully being tired is better than having numerous panic attacks but right now it's both :(

No re: modafinil, I'll look that up

I guess I should learn more about anti psychotics.

Seroquel... one of my friends said I should try it for sleeping. Just looked it up and it is also for the mani parts. Hmmmmm. I'm going to look into that more too.
 
llama, I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing these extreme moods--it must be scary let alone the exhaustion!

Do you have a therapist? At the very least it would give you a place to vent. This is a lot to carry alone.<3
 
Oh yes, I'm on my seventh therapist in the past five years. Because the psychiatrist say therapists will help.

Benzos don't even help me sleep anymore. They keep me awake. IDK what a normal dosage is but I could take 10mg and still remember everything. It's ridiculous.

Now even my partner thinks I'm faking it when I pass out. He says "that's not how people faint". I have an eye phobia and anxiety so I pass out all the time, I know what it's like. But he says I'm faking it. He tells me to "control my emotions". Try telling someone with bipolar to "control their emotions". It's hard.

Also I get so depressed that I will go days without eating which is never good.

I think I'm going to see my family doctor and give a list of all the issues. Maybe then he'll take me seriously.

I just want something to calm these moods because I literally cannot control them.
 
I'm sorry this is going on...in my opinion I think that you should maybe be on a mood stablizer/ssri and definitely intense psychotherapy. benzos and addictive meds like that will work in the beginning but after a bit its bad bad news. i promise. often times, myself included, we don't realize that medication although definitely plays a role, try the hardest you can to really get to the core issues IN ADDITION because i know sometimes when i'm having debilitating anxiety/depression/adhd where it seems i can't get out of bed and i feel meds are my only answer, I forget to realize that truly working on myself and getting to the core issues while in conjunction with the correct meds can work great. I would go seek out other opinions and if in the end you keep getting the same response from them then maybe its not that there not taking you seriously maybe they have a point as well. but i do feel your pain and frustration for i've been there a million times and just keep fighting and hanging in there
 
Apparently some psychiatrists and therapists should not be psychiatrists and therapists. I'm curious why they are giving you Zoloft when you are Bipolar. Zoloft is a anti-depressant, not a mood stabilizer and anti-depressants do not help with Bipolar Disorder. You do need a mood stabilizer to help with the Bipolar, so I'm not understanding why they are not prescribing those.

The combination of the right medication and a therapist you connect with is what helps people the most. Not the wrong medication for your diagnosis and therapists you don't connect with, or therapists that don't have a counseling style that addresses your issues. It can take a long time to find the right psychiatrist and therapist, but it sounds like you need to find a different psychiatrist that understands the difference between depression and Bipolar and knows that Zoloft won't help, and find a therapist you connect with and addresses your issues.

In the blood work you mentioned above did they test your thyroid levels? Thyroid problems can be a source of chronic fatigue, and that may be an underlying issue.
 
You need a time out; I suggest you take the pressure off. You could apply for welfare to reduce the pressure on working while you develop coping mechanisms - it isn't an ideal solution but right now you can't function

Benzodiazopenes are excellent for panic attacks short term BUT with chronic severe anxiety (I have Aspergers - I have had most of the above you are describing) the benzos make it so much easier to cope and you will keep popping them. You will become dependant and your life will become clouded in fog from taking them. None of the SSRIS etc really do much at this extreme anxiety level. Personally I went the valium route and it brought short term relief and long term pain. Kicking the stuff is awful but I'm clean from it now. I completely understand if you want to go the valium route just to not have panic attacks and feel helpless for a while

This will get better - it is temporary. Ride it out and have faith. When you're going through hell, keep going
 
The behaviours you are describing sound like a Cluster B personality disorder. If you get a diagnosis from a private psychiatrist, the medical profession may take you more seriously. Regrettably, personality disorders carry a negative stigma in healthcare
 
treezy z: adderall+methadone+klonopin....sounds good to me! I'm not being flippant, I'm bloody serious.

I definitely know what it's like to not be heard. 99% of docs go deaf as soon as they hear "alcoholic/addict"...I will not be honest any more.

Peace & Love,
jasper
 
Top