Well if you put it like that, so am I (and people who know me wouldn't describe me as selfish, they'd describe me as perhaps a bit intense or devotional, but not something that has a negative attache to it).
What I mean to say is, on some level we're all very selfish people - we have to be to a degree; it is biologically a trait that we all evolved to possess to one degree or another. From what I can tell of you, you are a sensitive, kind hearted person who is highly intelligent.
I'm not trying to brown nose, I'm just trying to tell you like it is.
You have some real amazing talents hydro, I know this for certain from the time I have spent working with you on BL and what I have seen you post. You are hard working, creative, with a real intuitive flare and knack for capturing the essence of a moment.
Getting in touch more with your talents and abilities as opposed to your defects sounds just like what you need IMO. You have SOOOOOOOO much potential hydro, seriously. You always struck me as someone who was really hard on themselves, which as an artist makes sense (I speak from experience). But you're wicked smart, AND wicked talented. It is just a matter of being kind enough with yourself such that you are able to cultivate your talents and shine!
I wouldn't say you're a selfish person, at least not in the lay sense of the word. You might be unskillful in some of your habits, but that can be said of most people. It doesn't define who you are. I mean, we all have our faults, but you are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much more than any "bad" or unhealthy choices you might have made in the past or might be yet to make in the future.
You are so much more than you know hydro