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Horrible Anxiery & Panic Attecks After Rolling

Thank you for the responses. What I did was clearly stupid. I'm a criminal defense lawyer, my life isn't exactly peachy. I'm in the warzone 24/7. Weed, Alcohol, MDMA are an escape.

What I now realize is that drugs bring out all the horrible stress and anxiety that's bottled up inside my mind.

I was going through an exceptionally difficult week and decided to roll 2 times in 5 days, and for whatever reason decided to add adderall to the mix. Never did MDMA less than at least 30 days apart. And the results speak for themselves.

I truly doubt that I'll ever do it again. I need to deal with stress better. This was definitely a wake up call for me.

Let's see how long I feel fucked up.
 
dj-b said:
Lawyerlife, im pretty confident ur muscle twitches and symptoms will subside. ive been experiencing pretty much the same but now im on like week 4 after the incident and the twitches have gone just mainly some anxiety now which seems to be on its way out too. Dont be so hard on urself for rolling too often just dont plan to do it all the time. 2 times in a week really isnt a huge deal unless you do it for a long peroid of time, like all year. I did it every weekend seriously for like 2 years when i was 25 and didnt exerience too much negative effects untill it all caught up at about the 3 year mark of abusing it hard. Dont worry too much try to focus on other things and you will start to feel better.
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Wow. You rolled that much???? And you were ok?? Holy shit man, what do you have in your skull - steel?? LOL
 
It is good you gained insight and know what you are doing now. Ecstasy isn't like narcotics, it is empathogenic. Having more empathy isn't always a good thing especially if your environment is bad. I would stick to weed and alcohol but of course make sure you control yourself. You already found out what rolling so often will do to you. I only rolled once a few weeks ago and I fucked up big time because I am naturally paranoid and put myself in an unfavorable situation. I had similar effects as you like paranoia, stiffness and depression but it only lasted a day or two because it was my first roll. Stay safe.
 
Inds said:
It is good you gained insight and know what you are doing now. Ecstasy isn't like narcotics, it is empathogenic. Having more empathy isn't always a good thing especially if your environment is bad. I would stick to weed and alcohol but of course make sure you control yourself. You already found out what rolling so often will do to you. I only rolled once a few weeks ago and I fucked up big time because I am naturally paranoid and put myself in an unfavorable situation. I had similar effects as you like paranoia, stiffness and depression but it only lasted a day or two because it was my first roll. Stay safe.
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I've rolled about 10-15 times since December of 2014. Never once had a reaction such as this one. I attribute it to the adderall and to the fact that I rolled 2 times in 5 days, and 3 times in 3 weeks.
 
LawyerLife said:
Still messed up.
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It'll get better man, mine did after a few weeks but like I said I fucked it all up again partying. Just stay away from the things I mentioned for a couple months and I'm sure you'll be mint.
 
My short term memory is shot, can't concentrate, I'm fucked. I hope to God you guys are right because I don't wanna end up this way permanently.
 
FINALLY FEELING BACK TO NORMAL. I will never fuck up again.

DO NOT speed roll. It's bad news.
 
LawyerLife said:
FINALLY FEELING BACK TO NORMAL. I will never fuck up again.

DO NOT speed roll. It's bad news.
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Yeah just stay away from drinking and especially weed for a few more weeks, I was feeling a lot better after a couple weeks then fucked it all up again smoking tons of weed and drinking again back in July.... And am still suffering now. Be smart.
 
Quit weed last December and have not touched it since. Alcohol I don't drink much. I learned a valuable lesson and trust me I am gonna remember it.

I'm glad this is behind me. Mixing adderall and MDMA was beyond stupid.
 
LawyerLife said:
Quit weed last December and have not touched it since. Alcohol I don't drink much. I learned a valuable lesson and trust me I am gonna remember it.

I'm glad this is behind me. Mixing adderall and MDMA was beyond stupid.
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Hey glad ur feeling better I figured you would pull thru. I myself am also feeling better from my 250 mg mdma/mda and accidental dose of amphet. For me it has taken a whole month. Never once in my 17yrs droppin rolls had i experienced anything such long term from just rollin even at extremely high doses. I mean extremely high. I blame the amps completely. just today I seemed to have started to control my anxiety. I was already against amps but now am totally against them and advise anyone not to mix them unless there body is already use to the effects.
 
dj-b glad you're doing better man. I appreciate you coming on here and sharing your experience, it made a difference. I agree 1000%, it was the Amps that are to blame. I too never had a problem rolling like this before. Hope to be back 100% in a few weeks.
 
Feeling better but I now constantly feel lightheaded and dizzy. Have little energy, and still feeling sadness.
 
LawyerLife said:
Feeling better but I now constantly feel lightheaded and dizzy. Have little energy, and still feeling sadness.
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Yup it'll just take time, keep away from the things I said for a while longer (especially drinking and weed) and see how you feel in a few weeks. I felt dizzy with brain fog a few weeks later still, was still waking up one night a week with sweats and shaking, had one small eye floater....Anyway I didn't take this seriously like I said and partied hard (think it was the weed that did me in again), and am suffering 9 months later still and have tons of floaters and Tinnitus. Not trying to scare you, just don't get hammered or smoke weed until you've been 100% for a while.
 
I have faith in you not to fuck up like this again. Rolling 4 times in what, 2 weeks? I fear you won't truly register the consequences in your memory because I know I haven't. I rolled 250mg for my first time last month and I felt suicidal the next day then simply shitty the next before I recovered. It seems like a bad dream and the roll day a good dream. That's why I use my logical mind to remind me how bad it really was, even if I don't emotionally remember and am not traumatized at all.
Use your head, especially now that it's in good working order. Most people on here recommend rolling every month or 2 months but I wouldn't do it at all if you can't set up a reasonably happy environment. That's what shit like heroin is for, where you feel good even when you're being spit on.
 
Thank you for the continual support. I have steadily improved over the last few days, and feel even better today. Let's hope it continues because it was a really fucked up 13 days or so.

I will not repeat this mistake, definitely one of the dumbest things I've done ever. I doubt I'll roll again this year or who knows when.

Have not drank a single drop of alcohol since and as I said I'm finished with weed.

Hope all of you feel better. Thanks again
 
LawyerLife said:
Thank you for the continual support. I have steadily improved over the last few days, and feel even better today. Let's hope it continues because it was a really fucked up 13 days or so.

I will not repeat this mistake, definitely one of the dumbest things I've done ever. I doubt I'll roll again this year or who knows when.

Have not drank a single drop of alcohol since and as I said I'm finished with weed.

Hope all of you feel better. Thanks again
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5htp or L-tryptophan will help your brain recover, and sleep of course. I hate mdma, couldnt pay me to touch the shit. i did the same thing as you for 3 days. day 4 i was in the emergency room literally crawling up the wall in pyschosis. they had to hold me down and sedate me for like 36 hours because my BP and heart rate, core temperature was so dangerous. ...never did MDMA since. Ever.
 
Wow!! Yeah, 3 days in a row is totally crazy. Sounds like you were in really bad shape
 
LawyerLife said:
Thank you for the continual support. I have steadily improved over the last few days, and feel even better today. Let's hope it continues because it was a really fucked up 13 days or so.

I will not repeat this mistake, definitely one of the dumbest things I've done ever. I doubt I'll roll again this year or who knows when.

Have not drank a single drop of alcohol since and as I said I'm finished with weed.

Hope all of you feel better. Thanks again
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We're all glad you're better and have taken an oath to sobriety. Now, I'm not encouraging you to keep doing drugs but I'm not sure such a rigid attitude is a good idea. You seem to go to extremes. You're either the most sober, saintly person in the world or the most addicted mofo who can't stop popping pills. It's an unhealthy and lazy way of thinking to be an all-or-nothing kind of guy. I'm sure you know all the stories about people who go cold turkey. They're either using again eventually or they become so miserable that they end up burn-outs who lose interest in life. If you're serious about going cold turkey on everything, I support you but I recommend you use your rational mind as much as possible. Don't rely on trauma or emotions to deter you. You will soon forget what these 13 days even felt like. It will be like a bad dream and rolling might not seem so scary to do again. Then you'll realize you're stressed or didn't get enough of a fun high so you'll take more, and more and you're back where you were.

Don't let that happen. If you wanna get high, make sure you know exactly what you're doing. If I practiced what I just preached, I wouldn't have nearly committed suicide a month ago were it not for these great people on bluelight that told me to calm down.
 
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