Bluelight

Thread: Little help? - Timeline for meds - homedetox

Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 678910
Results 226 to 234 of 234
  1. Collapse Details
     
    Bluelighter jordanwonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there. ~Rumi
    Posts
    133
    Hi guys

    I hope everyone is doing alright and having a nice summer and all that good stuff.

    He surprised me the other day by telling me he told his mom and letting her know he needs help. I'm so incredibly proud of him.

    He called today and made an appt to see the doc. He goes Monday. He's required to go to meetings 3x a week. See her every two weeks for the first two months and once a month thereafter for the rest of his life (???) he'll be drug tested - there is a zero tolerance policy for any booze or drugs. I told him I'd stop drinking with him.

    I'm so proud. And nervous for him.

    Lots of love to you all.
    Reply With Quote
     

  2. Collapse Details
     
    Quote Originally Posted by jordanwonder View Post
    Hi guys

    I hope everyone is doing alright and having a nice summer and all that good stuff.

    He surprised me the other day by telling me he told his mom and letting her know he needs help. I'm so incredibly proud of him.

    He called today and made an appt to see the doc. He goes Monday. He's required to go to meetings 3x a week. See her every two weeks for the first two months and once a month thereafter for the rest of his life (???) he'll be drug tested - there is a zero tolerance policy for any booze or drugs. I told him I'd stop drinking with him.

    I'm so proud. And nervous for him.

    Lots of love to you all.
    Glad to hear from you. I'm glad things are moving in a positive direction. That's nice that you're quitting drinking with him, it was a huge help my wife quit drinking for me as well. Having a supportive wife has helped me stay clean and on the straight and narrow, (been clean 4 months). Addiction can be such a lonely disease, so having love and support is crucial. He's lucky to have you!! I wish you and him more than luck.
    As always keep us posted how things are going
    Reply With Quote
     

  3. Collapse Details
     
    Bluelighter jordanwonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there. ~Rumi
    Posts
    133
    4 months?!?!?!!! That is awesome. Congratulations. Giant smiles over here.

    He took his last dose last night at about 930ish. We both fell asleep watching tv. (We are binge watching Sons of Anarchy. So good) and finally went upstairs to bed at about 230. At that time, he gave me the rest of his stash. He's been sleeping ever since. His plan was to go heavy on the sleep aids and try to sleep through the point when it's safe to start the subs.

    But again. 4 months. I remember when you guys were basically at the same day count before he slipped. Sososososo happy to hear you got through it.
    Last edited by jordanwonder; 06-09-2017 at 19:31.
    Reply With Quote
     

  4. Collapse Details
     
    Moderator
    Sober Living
    Non-Electronic Music Discussion
    simco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    in the mountains
    Posts
    1,908
    Quote Originally Posted by jordanwonder View Post
    Hi guys

    I hope everyone is doing alright and having a nice summer and all that good stuff.

    He surprised me the other day by telling me he told his mom and letting her know he needs help. I'm so incredibly proud of him.

    He called today and made an appt to see the doc. He goes Monday. He's required to go to meetings 3x a week. See her every two weeks for the first two months and once a month thereafter for the rest of his life (???) he'll be drug tested - there is a zero tolerance policy for any booze or drugs. I told him I'd stop drinking with him.

    I'm so proud. And nervous for him.

    Lots of love to you all.
    This is a big commitment, and it's awesome that he's willing to take it on. I'm just curious, did they really say he'd be in treatment for the rest of his life, or was the ending simply not specified?

    Having you in his corner has got to be helping a lot...you're amazingly generous and compassionate, JW

    Also, glad to hear you're enjoying SoA. I think binge-watching TV series with someone you love is actually very therapeutic (though of course I have zero evidence to support this... that's just been my own experience.)
    Reply With Quote
     

  5. Collapse Details
     
    Bluelighter jordanwonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there. ~Rumi
    Posts
    133
    Yeah, this doctor's program is a giant commitment and tbh, he's not really feeling it, at all. Meetings 3x a week when you work and have kids you co-parent is a pretty big deal. But he said he's willing to work it for a few months.

    I've gently encouraged him by saying that perhaps he'll like it, and eventually it will just become part of his routine and we can work seeing the kids in after meetings. We'll see what happens.

    I also said we can work on finding a doc that perhaps doesn't have such stringent requirements once he gets going here.

    I'm not sure what they talked about during the private portion of his first appointment. But they were together for like an hour and a half before bringing me in. Once she did, she asked me hard to answer questions like 'how has his addiction affected you?'

    Yikes.

    Anyway....at the end, I asked how long he would be on subs for and if she'll help him taper. She said she wouldn't even consider it until he was 'happy and healthy for a year'.

    She didn't say anything while I was in the room about him needing to see her for the rest of his life. Idk.

    What do you guys think?

    She was very impressed with how prepared I was and how much I had researched. So big thanks again to you all. You have been instrumental in me being able to support him. Giant love.
    Reply With Quote
     

  6. Collapse Details
     
    Moderator
    Sober Living
    Life Advice & Visual Arts
    Other Drugs
    Drugs in the Media
    toothpastedog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    at home in your arms
    Posts
    11,612
    That is a fairly common approach to ORT. As long as he feels comfortable, it sounds reasonable. Family therapy can be very tricky business. Frankly, I suggest you find your own personal therapist or qualified counselor to help support you, as it sounds like you may play a significant role in his treatment.

    Again, it can be tricky. But with patience and kind, compassionate support for yourself outside what he is getting, you certainly have a lot to gain. So glad to hear you sounds like you (and both of you) are in a better place
    Reply With Quote
     

  7. Collapse Details
     
    Bluelighter jordanwonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there. ~Rumi
    Posts
    133
    Yeah, it was never our intention to seek counseling together. She just said she likes to hear from the partner or parent, also.

    TBH, it kind of seemed like she wanted him to hear about how fucked up he's been to me or something. And that just isn't the case. But, I could just being protective with that assumption. Who knows.

    I told her I didn't really feel like I needed a support group or a therapist at this point. My meditation practice and staying in the present and being a generally optimistic person seems to be doing okay.

    I may seek someone out once he's healthy if I find myself still pulled to look through his things, etc. Although he says he doesn't mind, he welcomes it, it's not the kind of partner I want to be.

    We'll see. I'm just rolling with this. Plus, I'm super busy. I've started studying for that big license I intend to get by the end of the year. And my boy just started middle school!!! Crazy!!


    Anyway....

    This kick is kicking his ass. My poor baby.
    Reply With Quote
     

  8. Collapse Details
     
    Bluelighter jordanwonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there. ~Rumi
    Posts
    133
    And I hope all is well with you
    Reply With Quote
     

  9. Collapse Details
     
    Moderator
    Sober Living
    Life Advice & Visual Arts
    Other Drugs
    Drugs in the Media
    toothpastedog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    at home in your arms
    Posts
    11,612
    Quote Originally Posted by jordanwonder View Post
    Yeah, it was never our intention to seek counseling together. She just said she likes to hear from the partner or parent, also.

    TBH, it kind of seemed like she wanted him to hear about how fucked up he's been to me or something. And that just isn't the case. But, I could just being protective with that assumption. Who knows.

    I told her I didn't really feel like I needed a support group or a therapist at this point. My meditation practice and staying in the present and being a generally optimistic person seems to be doing okay.

    I may seek someone out once he's healthy if I find myself still pulled to look through his things, etc. Although he says he doesn't mind, he welcomes it, it's not the kind of partner I want to be.

    We'll see. I'm just rolling with this. Plus, I'm super busy. I've started studying for that big license I intend to get by the end of the year. And my boy just started middle school!!! Crazy!!


    Anyway....

    This kick is kicking his ass. My poor baby.
    On a likewise personal note, I really do not find that kind of therapy helpful. But hey, it's worth him trying (him and you lol ). Perhaps you'll be able to learn more about what he is doing in terms of the modalities his doctor/therapist are using outside ORT, as it sounds a little old school (focused more on confrontation and family system as opposed to connection and learning, the latter obviously my preference for sooooo many reasons).

    I totally forgot about your own practice, as that is so incredibly helpful still, having a kind compassionate figure of authority to help keep you grounded if his therapist goes a bit off the deep end is pretty invaluable. But hey, we probably could fill those shoes for you ATM
    Reply With Quote
     

Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 678910

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •