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I can't quit using heroin. I'm trapped.

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seanpaulsteak

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[FONT=verdana, arial, sans-serif]I've been doing heroin for about a year off and on. The last
four months it has been a heavy habit. Roughly 20-40$ a day. I've felt so trapped in the insidious addiction cycle. I've been able to quit before, but only for about a week. Despite all the negative consequences, I still give into the cravings. The past year I've probably spent well over 5 grand, probably more. The physical withdrawal is insanely shitty and uncomfortable, but I've been able to get through on a few different occasions, but I can't cope with the emotional problems that come whenever I try to quit. I usually smoke, I have IV'd on a few different occasions for a few days each time. I recently shot into an artery and had massive swelling on my arm and intense pain like pins and needles in my hand. Never going to IV again and I wish I could say I'm never doing heroin again. I can't. I feel trapped in this addiction. Most of my relationships with people, especially family have been damaged. I spend everything I get on black tar, I'm behind on all my bills. I've even been caught buying drugs by the police a few months ago, yet I still find myself downtown in the hood to buy heroin. I guess my question is how do I battle the cravings and deal with the emotional shit show that comes when trying to quit. Any advice would be great. I just want my life back and have it not centered around the heroin, the devil. It's possession. I don't know how's to break the cycle.[/FONT]
 
have you tried methadone/bupe? if it wasn't for bupe i wouldn't have got off, physical wd's turned me into a total pussy
but if its the post-acute wd's that really fuck with you you should consider some counselling, i find it a real struggle to remain clean because i was using heroin for emotional pain - counselling helped me understand why.

and before someone says i'm not recommending NA/AA as i've never been to either - i used my local NHS drug councilor but i'm not sure what your options are in the US
 
some people simply can not or will not be able to live life without an opiate in their body because too much damage has been done to their receptors... I am one of these people... its why I got on suboxone 4 years ago. I have no cravings, I live a normal productive life now. Come on over to the other side man, its better this way, get on meth or subs. Trust me.
 
Try making a dosing schedule of 2x-4x a day using 1 mg less each dose after finding the lowest dose to sustain you. If you stick to this it won't be painless, but it should make it easier. I'll give examples.

20 mg a day as 10 mg 2x reduce by one mg each day in each dose so 9 2x, 82x, etc.

30 mg a day like above 3x or 10, 5, 10, 5 a day then 9,4,9,4 to 8,3,8,3, etc. You could also reduce the second dose the first day, the first on the second, the third the day after, the fourth the day after. Another schedule did be 5, 10, 5, 10 or 10, 5, 5, 10 or even 12., 6, 12.

The main goal is to reduce all of these mg based dosage number once you apply the taper plan. It will not be painless, but it will reduce the severity of it. Find a stable dose and a better high bio availability like nasal, plugging if you can schedule your #2 before your dose followed by cleaning the inside a bit for best results this method although only pooping before is needed, possibly subling however you spell it absorbing under the tongue, really anything that works better than oral that is less efficient than morphine being the better choice for oral usage. It would probably take a higher dose to compensate the ba difference and also reduce at a much faster rate.

This should be s realistic plan for anything besides oral in regards to using lower spectrum sizes <80 mg of heroin unless one can afford to go slow should go something like at minimum reduce 5 mg a week 1 a day minimum not including possible days of holding off reducing. Oral is probably 10 mg per week and 2 per day. The kadians would work well because you can open the capsule and split the beads inside between gel caps and keep the sustained release. The same maybe is true for the more solid ER meds like the big thick MS cotin I believe or the newer oc type formulation.

Good luck I suggest quitting now. I was where you are about a year ago or more and now I'm using grams a day I can't afford. I have real chronic pain I can't even get diagnosed properly as it's viewed as a guise to get opiate pain meds so until I literally collapse unable to walk or stop yelling in pain to call for help. I can't let that happen though as if my dog was was with me and I had to go to the er she would probably be taken from me even possible that I'd never see her again.. It's a tough situation. Quit while your ahead before you're stuck jumping from methadone to bupe trying to get high whenever you can only possible. Just get off now and don't look back.
 
Tacodude, i generally enjoy your posts, however, this BL is asking about managing post detox. Not how to stop usage.

However, i say this with no opiate experience, so perhaps my post is null and void. Good luck OP, your habit is still young so hopefully you can beat it.
 
mrsnowygrainius said:
some people simply can not or will not be able to live life without an opiate in their body because too much damage has been done to their receptors... I am one of these people... its why I got on suboxone 4 years ago. I have no cravings, I live a normal productive life now. Come on over to the other side man, its better this way, get on meth or subs. Trust me.
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That's not true at all. The withdrawal from prolonged Suboxone or Methadone use is worse than heroin withdrawal and lasts a lot longer.

Using maintenance drugs should only be in an attempt to taper down IMO. Trading one drug for another is just delaying the inevitable if you never actually try to get off them.

Cravings are a purely mental aspect of drug use. Neither suboxone or vivitrol will magically make you not want to get high anymore
 
Seanpaulsteak, this whole thing is probably the most difficult and easily the most terrifying thing you've ever dealt with and the idea of taking the plummet and quitting probably scares the shit out of you, but I have to agree with some of the other posters. Try getting on Suboxone. Delete potential dealing contacts, try to stop going to the hood and find a hobby to focus on. I thought my Oxy addiction was going to have me beat, which it does to a certain extent, but since I picked up fishing as a hobby, I have been FAR better at controlling those damn cravings. It will be okay dude. Just try your best to hold it together. Seek help. You can do this.
 
If the goal is detox then yes the best idea is to taper first as best as possible and I'm trying to give a guide that some may be fortunate enough to sustain as I wish I was as I would've been done with opiates long before a script never made it in that should have only to end up waking into the path of a car going 30-40 because the dr treated me like a drug seeker where the ambulance driver told them that I was not a drug seeker and in a real emergency situation only to be laughed at after announcing my suicide intent as I left without anyone stopping me even as I harmed myself in the hospital. Somehow though I live with the consequences of their neglect and suffer in pain without support while the hospital let me walk out announcing my intent to end my life with history of suicidal intent suffers no consequences.... America is becoming the worst fast
 
Part of why quiting is so hard is because addictions are stored in our subconscious, which we can't control. (Sure, that's why some would argue that hypnotism works). It helped me just to know where the knagging reminder voice to use was coming from.

The best thing about methadone for me was that it gave me a break from having to constantly battle myself. When I finally got on methadone, it was the first time in 10 yrs where I didn't crave opiates. I was free to make plans with anybody because I wasn't going to be too sick trying to be sober or to messed up trying not to be sick and get rid of that nagging voice telling me that I won't enjoy myself if I don't use.

Your brain needs time to start doing what the drugs made it stop. That's why a taper plan is vital to success, regardless of the substance. It really doesn't have to be a nightmare of various ailments, physical and mental, to quit.

Having someone to talk to when you want to use or did use will be a huge asset. We all need someone who supports us in our struggles, regardless of the time or path it takes to reach the goal. (I finally found a rehab counselor I connected with at the methadone clinic.)

Just don't underestimate the psychological reasons that got you from sober to addicted. There is almost always an underlying cause that will come back to you. If there was nothing other than waking up one day wondering how you got there, then there may be a lot of memories that surface as you go longer without using that make you feel ashamed or guilty. Nobody should feel ashamed or guilty because they have an addictive personality. Be honest and realistic and positive and kind to yourself and you will succeed.
 
Tapering is the only way I could ever achieve any sort of success in quitting. It can take a really long time depending on how you do it, so you better be committed. Relapsing months in just sucks...
 
The pain has to be greater than the pleasure of getting high. I was sober for 3 years... I found myself at a party doing some cocaine, and the next day I had a needle in my arm again.
Suboxone can work wonders... but if you are committed, and u can't get subs, buy a decent amount of dope and set a taper schedule. Just use enough to stay well the first day. Don't use it to get high, or this will never work. If u plan to taper, you must remind yourself that the purpose isn't to get high. On the second day, wait until you score a 20 on the COWS worksheet. If u aren't familiar, google it. Only use enough to get well but pay attention to the amount. Use just enough to keep out of withdrawal. On the third day do the same, but with less. Repeat the same thing on the 4th day, again with less. Until you are using a tiny amount and you can go through some discomfort on the 5th or 6th day when you aren't using any.
It will still be a shock to your body. But much less withdrawal symptoms, and better chance of avoid a relapse because the withdrawal is so bad.
Good luck
 
TheDirtySpoon730 said:
I'm in palm coast Fl right now, and just having moved here from BX Ny, I hate it. I'm a friend in need. A friend in need is a friend in deed. I can drive wherever. Anyone who can help plz email
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no sourcing drugs man come on
 
lolwtf. Well I guess I wouldn't give a fuck either if I was fiending hard for a shot. He probably is a regular poster on his main account. :D
 
kratom man, kratom. kratom totally cured my addiction to heroin when nothing else worked. yes, i still have a kratom habit id like to kick but its so much less harmful than heroin and i actually like kratom more than heroin. part of why i hate heroin so much is that heroin makes you too numb. it makes it so you cant enjoy anything without being high and your whole life becomes about your next fix. kratom, because its so much milder, actually lets you live a much more normal life while still being an effective painkiller.
 
Baclofen along with Kratom has done wonders for me. I know alcohol and heroin are two different chemicals, but when addicted to either, our brains change and we can not even begin to understand how we can live life without these chemicals -until we get about 30 to 45 days free and clear. At that point, one is usually feeling great and begin to 'think' hey it was not so bad, I am just going to do MDOC one more time. For me, Baclofen helped with the cravings, but more importantly, it helped to rewire my brain to wanting positive things that I had began to enjoy. If I were a heroin addict (or even current AUD), I would do everything that I could do to get an Ibogaine treatment in a legitimate health environment.
 
I'm moving this to Drug Culture. I'm not trying to say that you're issue has no meaning or value, but the issue is that we are a direct Harm Reduction forum. We are only here to help people use drugs recreationally in as safe a manner as possible. Please understand the redirection and I hope you find some support.
 
A lot of things said are subjective to the fact it worked for them. And yeah man while everyone is different, my advice to you is just do your research to find a path that fits you the best. If you are unsure, just do trial and error. And before anyone takes that sentence out of context (haha), what I mean is maybe try tapering your H dosages first (which I can't do), then maybe trying Kratom since there aren't any hoops to jump through (doctors, prescription, drug tests, etc.) and then use a clinic as the last resort..But what ever you do, we will support you man. You can do it, brother. You deserve it man. You got the BL community in your corner on this one. Good luck buddy!
 
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