PerhapsNow
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2017
- Messages
- 3
Absolutely. Most men want to please their partner, they're just to dim to know how.
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I'm shy about my sexual needs, even with bf
- Thread starter trunkofmycar
- Start date
WannaBeSub
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2017
- Messages
- 40
Absolutely. Most men want to please their partner, they're just to dim to know how.
My one seems to have lost his way ?
JTHOMPSON3407
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2017
- Messages
- 3
If the two of you watch porn together, try picking videos of things you would like to do. Mabye it will give him the idea to do the things you want on his own. If not try to do what you need to do to kill your nervousness. Just be blunt with him he will proboly like it. My wife was nervous to even admit what she likes now we talked about it and shes starting to communicate with me. You could be missing out on alot of fun by not just speaking up.
WannaBeSub
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2017
- Messages
- 40
My wife was nervous to even admit what she likes now we talked about it and shes starting to communicate with me. You could be missing out on alot of fun by not just speaking up.
That interests me... I am married too and also nervous to speak to my husband. How did your wife come around? And how long have you been married for?
If your relationship is in good standing and you like and want to be open to each other, I have a great solution for you - and for anyone else, this really helps a lot.
Great exercise for any couple who want's to take their sex life to the next level right way (with trust and understanding), is to either create full list of possible sex acts, fantasies, costumes, role plays etc. - even the most gross ones that you hate or use existing services found online. I preferred the first way since my (and partly my gf's) nasty mind was not covered in "vanilla" online services.
I made it in excel using these columns:
Act/Fantasy - How horny it makes me - How insecure it makes me - Want to play out the fantasy - Want to do it in real life - Only for myself for now - Additional comments (for example reason behind the answer)
First column just list everything from pedofilia to snuff and disney dwards to blue whales. Just basically whatever comes to mind, both of you should make your own lists. We made a rule, that if there's some sensitive fantasies that we are not yet ready to share, we should still add those to the list as Private1 etc. That way other one knows that there's still some hidden things, but I don't recommend that. It's lot better to discuss before doing this exercise that you both understand that there's never anything derogatory in others fantasies, even if fantasy involves negative things about either one. It's still just a fantasy and doesn't mean that it needs to have any effect on real opinion of how you see each other. Make an agreement, that you will not judge either one, no matter what are the results. Sometimes, when there haven't been enough research, discussion and self-exploring, it might be hard to understand that if your partner fantasize cheating on you, it doesn't mean they are bad person who can't be trusted, many times quite the opposite I've found. Fantasies doesn't define persons character or actions. Of course some take the fantasies too far, but that's different story related mostly to mental issues and not related to actual fantasies or mechanism how brain works.
After your lists are ready, combine the lists, remove duplicates and give the final excel for both of you. Rate each column from 0-10 and answer honestly, otherwise there's not meaning to do the whole thing.
I suggest going through each other files privately and then later discussing (without jumping to bed after couple of rows like happened to us) if there's any questions or clarifications needed.
If you are quite vanilla or just met, I would recommend online services, just google " online sex questionnaire for couples " and there's plenty.
Great exercise for any couple who want's to take their sex life to the next level right way (with trust and understanding), is to either create full list of possible sex acts, fantasies, costumes, role plays etc. - even the most gross ones that you hate or use existing services found online. I preferred the first way since my (and partly my gf's) nasty mind was not covered in "vanilla" online services.
I made it in excel using these columns:
Act/Fantasy - How horny it makes me - How insecure it makes me - Want to play out the fantasy - Want to do it in real life - Only for myself for now - Additional comments (for example reason behind the answer)
First column just list everything from pedofilia to snuff and disney dwards to blue whales. Just basically whatever comes to mind, both of you should make your own lists. We made a rule, that if there's some sensitive fantasies that we are not yet ready to share, we should still add those to the list as Private1 etc. That way other one knows that there's still some hidden things, but I don't recommend that. It's lot better to discuss before doing this exercise that you both understand that there's never anything derogatory in others fantasies, even if fantasy involves negative things about either one. It's still just a fantasy and doesn't mean that it needs to have any effect on real opinion of how you see each other. Make an agreement, that you will not judge either one, no matter what are the results. Sometimes, when there haven't been enough research, discussion and self-exploring, it might be hard to understand that if your partner fantasize cheating on you, it doesn't mean they are bad person who can't be trusted, many times quite the opposite I've found. Fantasies doesn't define persons character or actions. Of course some take the fantasies too far, but that's different story related mostly to mental issues and not related to actual fantasies or mechanism how brain works.
After your lists are ready, combine the lists, remove duplicates and give the final excel for both of you. Rate each column from 0-10 and answer honestly, otherwise there's not meaning to do the whole thing.
I suggest going through each other files privately and then later discussing (without jumping to bed after couple of rows like happened to us) if there's any questions or clarifications needed.
If you are quite vanilla or just met, I would recommend online services, just google " online sex questionnaire for couples " and there's plenty.