Hi! I will start with my drug use history (I'm 28 years):
My history of drug use is not big. Normally I use only in festivals and I do that around 3 times a year...so I'm really not in to it. I have started in the middle of 2014 and I mainly use MDMA in the form of pills. I use so little that I can count that I have used it 10 times since 2014, ranging from one day use to 3 to 4 consecutive days(counted as one time) of use depending on the duration of the festival. Normally 2 pills in a day.
LSD I have used sometimes but I'm not really in to it.
In the end of 2015 I have used one tab of lsd, and then, like 10 hours later I took maybe 100ml of ayahuasca and had my firt hallucination, it was incredible and I really enjoyed it. In the same period I have ingested alchool, I didn't really knew what ayahuasca was. After that I have started researching about entheogens.
April 2016 I took part at a festival where i did some pills that gave me some dreamy felling. On the third day of festival I took one pill, plus some MDMA, and MDMA from the water of some friends, so I don't know how much and mixed a lot of different mdma's...the result was my first bad trip, a paranoia one, like everybody was looking and commenting things about me. I knew it was a bad trip, I was still in there but stuck in my head, I changed to another stage where the music was better and tryed not to fight it...some hours later it was completely gone. But when I went to the tent to sleep I could notice that I was still a little bit paranoid hearing the voices of other people outside the tent. Next day I was ok and took pills normally and was ok, actually the best day.
Later on in 2016 I tryed two times mushrooms by myself, 2g and 3g, all ok. And in this same year I took part in a shamanic ceremony where we ingested ayahuasca and mescaline, not too much, it was not even enough to get visuals, but only a kind of confused internal trip, but all ok.
So, last week I had my second bad trip...I woke up around 10...It was around 16:30 Tuesday when I took what I believe to be MDMA and not a huge amount, I think...two other friends, a girl and a man, took a little bit but they were ok...I diluted it in water and took some good amount. It was sunny as hell (carnival in Rio de Janeiro) and I had only some brad with ham around 10...some time later it starts to kick in, I feel some airy feeling something that I really dont feel like what should be mdma...and then I started to feel too much in my mind and think too much about others and my friends. I start to judge that people are talking about me, and laughing at me...and there I go again...
Around 19:30 my friends are trying to move me to some other place but I'm saying that I should go home, they are clearly worried, and I'm too...I manage to make them let me go. I arrive at home and my brother and a couple of friends are waiting, I say I'm not ok and go to bed. My brother is in a bed next to me. We have a little talk.
They go out to eat and at this point, alone, I manage to get a little bit better using some meditation and keeping in mind that it should end around 22:30 to 23:30 Tuesday imaginind the normal duration of 6 hours of mdma. When they come back things get worse...my paranoia is ''transfered to them'' like I feel they are watching me and talking about me...I can't get sleep at all...it's allready past 00:00 Wednesday and no sleep and full paranoia.
I get out of the room and go to the living room where I'm alone and that is a little bit better...my brother comes and check if I'm not living home, that doesn't help in my paranoia...but there alone I feel a little bit more confortable, but always feeling someone could be watching.
Its around 3:30 Wednesday no fucking sleep and it's well beyond the duration of a mdma trip...so I start to think that this time my brain got messed up for real...I go back to the room with my brother sleeping, and my paranoia get's bigger, but I stay there...
Allready morning and no sleep...worry about having some sort of disorder or HPPD...I was getting crazy, no fucking sleep, alert state, paranoia...this time I had fucked up...Around 11:00 Wednesday, that is 24h no sleep I took some pill to sleep, in portuguese the name is dramin I dont know in english but they are light...That is enough to put me to sleep for like 30min...maybe less...but in the big pictures things are getting better.
I spent the afternoon alone in the house and could sleep another 15 minutes, that was good, I'm allready feeling much better...I had a bus to catch around 19:30...around 18h I get a cab and go to the bus station. The bus is actually 23:45...I perceive that I'm really nervous to talk to people and anxious. 23:34 Wednesday I get the bus...I fell like the people sitting in my back are talking about me, I can even hear a little bit, even today I don't know if it was true or it was my head...actually I think it was both. I get to sleep in the bus...FINALLY.
7:00 Thursday I arrive in the city where I study and live. I go home and sleep more until 11:00...during the day I feel nervous around people and avoid conversations, when I had to talk to someone I got anxious and nervous...I feel that peolpe are perceiving that I'm not normal...but very lightly.
Friday I'm almos 100%...Today, Saturday more to 100% but still worried about all this thing.
So what should lasts like 6 hours ended up lasting far more than the drug supposedly should last...How is that possible??? My family has no mental illness history...even though could that be some warning that I could be waking some problem inside me?
Could it be some latent mental problem like schizophrenia being slowly activated?!!!
I fell pretty much normal now, but that scared me the shit by the time it lasted. Mainly the duration.
What you guys think?
My history of drug use is not big. Normally I use only in festivals and I do that around 3 times a year...so I'm really not in to it. I have started in the middle of 2014 and I mainly use MDMA in the form of pills. I use so little that I can count that I have used it 10 times since 2014, ranging from one day use to 3 to 4 consecutive days(counted as one time) of use depending on the duration of the festival. Normally 2 pills in a day.
LSD I have used sometimes but I'm not really in to it.
In the end of 2015 I have used one tab of lsd, and then, like 10 hours later I took maybe 100ml of ayahuasca and had my firt hallucination, it was incredible and I really enjoyed it. In the same period I have ingested alchool, I didn't really knew what ayahuasca was. After that I have started researching about entheogens.
April 2016 I took part at a festival where i did some pills that gave me some dreamy felling. On the third day of festival I took one pill, plus some MDMA, and MDMA from the water of some friends, so I don't know how much and mixed a lot of different mdma's...the result was my first bad trip, a paranoia one, like everybody was looking and commenting things about me. I knew it was a bad trip, I was still in there but stuck in my head, I changed to another stage where the music was better and tryed not to fight it...some hours later it was completely gone. But when I went to the tent to sleep I could notice that I was still a little bit paranoid hearing the voices of other people outside the tent. Next day I was ok and took pills normally and was ok, actually the best day.
Later on in 2016 I tryed two times mushrooms by myself, 2g and 3g, all ok. And in this same year I took part in a shamanic ceremony where we ingested ayahuasca and mescaline, not too much, it was not even enough to get visuals, but only a kind of confused internal trip, but all ok.
So, last week I had my second bad trip...I woke up around 10...It was around 16:30 Tuesday when I took what I believe to be MDMA and not a huge amount, I think...two other friends, a girl and a man, took a little bit but they were ok...I diluted it in water and took some good amount. It was sunny as hell (carnival in Rio de Janeiro) and I had only some brad with ham around 10...some time later it starts to kick in, I feel some airy feeling something that I really dont feel like what should be mdma...and then I started to feel too much in my mind and think too much about others and my friends. I start to judge that people are talking about me, and laughing at me...and there I go again...
Around 19:30 my friends are trying to move me to some other place but I'm saying that I should go home, they are clearly worried, and I'm too...I manage to make them let me go. I arrive at home and my brother and a couple of friends are waiting, I say I'm not ok and go to bed. My brother is in a bed next to me. We have a little talk.
They go out to eat and at this point, alone, I manage to get a little bit better using some meditation and keeping in mind that it should end around 22:30 to 23:30 Tuesday imaginind the normal duration of 6 hours of mdma. When they come back things get worse...my paranoia is ''transfered to them'' like I feel they are watching me and talking about me...I can't get sleep at all...it's allready past 00:00 Wednesday and no sleep and full paranoia.
I get out of the room and go to the living room where I'm alone and that is a little bit better...my brother comes and check if I'm not living home, that doesn't help in my paranoia...but there alone I feel a little bit more confortable, but always feeling someone could be watching.
Its around 3:30 Wednesday no fucking sleep and it's well beyond the duration of a mdma trip...so I start to think that this time my brain got messed up for real...I go back to the room with my brother sleeping, and my paranoia get's bigger, but I stay there...
Allready morning and no sleep...worry about having some sort of disorder or HPPD...I was getting crazy, no fucking sleep, alert state, paranoia...this time I had fucked up...Around 11:00 Wednesday, that is 24h no sleep I took some pill to sleep, in portuguese the name is dramin I dont know in english but they are light...That is enough to put me to sleep for like 30min...maybe less...but in the big pictures things are getting better.
I spent the afternoon alone in the house and could sleep another 15 minutes, that was good, I'm allready feeling much better...I had a bus to catch around 19:30...around 18h I get a cab and go to the bus station. The bus is actually 23:45...I perceive that I'm really nervous to talk to people and anxious. 23:34 Wednesday I get the bus...I fell like the people sitting in my back are talking about me, I can even hear a little bit, even today I don't know if it was true or it was my head...actually I think it was both. I get to sleep in the bus...FINALLY.
7:00 Thursday I arrive in the city where I study and live. I go home and sleep more until 11:00...during the day I feel nervous around people and avoid conversations, when I had to talk to someone I got anxious and nervous...I feel that peolpe are perceiving that I'm not normal...but very lightly.
Friday I'm almos 100%...Today, Saturday more to 100% but still worried about all this thing.
So what should lasts like 6 hours ended up lasting far more than the drug supposedly should last...How is that possible??? My family has no mental illness history...even though could that be some warning that I could be waking some problem inside me?
Could it be some latent mental problem like schizophrenia being slowly activated?!!!
I fell pretty much normal now, but that scared me the shit by the time it lasted. Mainly the duration.
What you guys think?
