Mental Health Alcohol makes me cry. Coffee gives me an too much adrenaline-shock.

[LonelyBerry]

Alcohol makes me cry. Coffee gives me an too much adrenaline-shock.
What else could I try to feel good?

If I drink alcohol, half an hour I get in a state where I worry too much about me and I'm thinking about my life and I actually cannot relax and unwind. I cannot focus on something else in order to escape the RUMINATION. I have to say that I generally ruminate a lot.
With alcohol, I cannot control my thinking and so my mood. Rather I feel sober before I cry after / during drinking.


Basically, I'm very introverted and don't talk much. I want to say something but nothing comes in my mind. If my mood is good (bright) then I talk a bit more with my surrounding, and I'm able to laugh a bit. Otherwise (most or 3/4 of my time) I don't say much to people around me and cannot really laugh if something is funny. (Only fake laugh of course). Sometimes I cry for no reason.

A month ago, I drank often coffee and that helped me to concentrate and improved my long term memory a bit I think... but now I become very jittery and my blood pressure gets high along with muscle tension. (Theanine in combination with coffee only makes me drowsy along with the side effects of caffeine.)
In this state I actually cannot focus, cannot answer questions and I'm breathing very often. Of course, at home I get the same effect as outside. Why does coffee makes me such strange?? I HATE THIS ADRENALINE "OVERFLOW"!!!
But sometimes coffee gives me an good dopamine kick without anxiety.


The worst is that I haven't found any drug or herb that helps me to unwind and not to worry much and makes my mood bright so that socialization is easy.
I haven't tried weed (only hemp with cbd and without thc), so I cannot say how that will affect me.

No talk therapy, no medication, no ssri, no snri, sleep aids, and not even Ritalin (which sometimes affects me also strange as caffeine), no herb (rhodiola has a bit an effect in combination with Ashwagandha, but that was maybe placebo because the effect does not hold long)....
What the fuck can make me happy?
I don't wanna go out with my "mental weakness". I just wanna feel stable, a bit more talkative, feeling more positive emotions, less negative emotions, ...

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Short answer: stop relying on drugs to make you happy; they have no obligation to do so, and you'll wind up with an addiction, much much less happy than before. Forget the drugs and start doing things; read, write, go to school, go to events and make friends, try and pick up an actual hobby. I don't understand how you could focus on drugs like that. There's no "happy pill", or the like. People find happiness in what they do, not what they pop. If you think you have a mental illness, schedule a meeting with a therapist. Stay away from all drugs unless you're told by a therapist and psychiatrist that you need to take medication. I can see a huge accident waiting to happen in your words.

 

[paranoid android]

Basically yeah there is no happy pill and your certainly not going to find it in a bottle of Alcohol that's for sure or my problems would have been solved when i was 12. If you need something to unwind and become more sociable i would suggest Cannabis as it's the least harmful of the lot. If you get a good reaction from that i would honestly stick with it. If your the nervous type a heavy Indica strain would be a good place to start.

As for your reaction to Coffee that's not a unsurprising reaction at all. If you suffer from anxiety i would suggest staying the fuck away from Caffeine. When my anxiety disorder was far worse then it is now even a large cup of coffee could set off a panic attack.