Really doesn't sound like you are anywhere near the sort of drug-fiend I have traditionally been then! 8 times a year for coke seems pretty moderate. From my experience the perc seems like the most dangerous at the moment if you can manage to give LSD a bit of a break, it is seriously addictive. My best advice would be just to check how the drug makes the feel afterwards and whether it is making things better or worse. If you can check for yourself honestly then you will realise what's helping you and what isn't. You seem happier now than your first post which is excellent, great to see.
hey bud so glad i found this link i completely forgot about it but i looked at it everyday cause its bookmarked on my home page!!! honestly im high on the buger sugar again and i feel like talking... bud since weve last talked i lost everything my bussiness my people that treated me so well i kinda told them to fck off and kept 10k of their money but its competely justified!! they kinda screwed me i was moving to maine cause they were opening up a 7th hydro store and i was gonna manage it!!!they told me they would help me find a place they told me i wouldnt have any problems,but thats all i had was problems moved into some place luckily walking distance from my jib 4 mn away walking, my girlfriend was pregnant at the time we lost it at 3 months like literally the day i quit she lost it! its like life was trying to tell me to slow down bu when i had i asked for my job bck literally a week later they wouldnt even consider it!!! i panicked i was in a place i didnt know full of rascist white folks at least thats how i felt... they really werent it was in the rich places of maine i didnt belong and they made it very clear i didnt belong one time i rented this lake house in sebago lake maine very expensive ... the lady said we could only rent 7 days at a time it was 5 days till 4th of july so i said fck it 3k plus expensise which i coukd of gone d.r for half what i spent thier to be treated completely like i didnt belong... first day i ivnite my broke friends with kids i figured they wouldnt come cause im usually the guy i think no one likes to hang out with but they al came at once and it was a shit show a bunch of kids running around and equal amount of adults.. the just decided it was ok to fill up their car and drive to whiteville with a bunch of niggas who dont know how to keep their voice down!!!never the less the kids were extatic to be their so i dealt with the owner and them because of the kids!!! but they just didnt get it they brought a huge boombox!! and i had to keep telling them do you hear music in this entire lake!! thats when i got mad cause they wouldnt listen about to me about how to act around these folks to not cause attention snd to not be the steriotype they think we are... by 830 the owner had come 3 times telling me this aint that kind of place!! what kind of place where you pay a shit tone of money for 7 days and i cant have my entire family and friends come over... never the less i said none of that .....and just tried to kick everyone out at that point i was glad it had started raining right when the owner had left i was so excited they lingered aroubd for another half hour but left.. my girlfriend was so stressed out cause we didnt even have enough food for all these people and shes sitting their bbq for girls that want to blow me...and she knows becausei tell her everything!!! like i said women are the creaors of this world manipulate lie and cheat no bueno for life happy wife happy life!!! i believe that to the fullest she knows everything i do .... but if it wasnt for our opener i still be sniffing opiods with a baby dew june 5 i was on 4 30s a day up until like 3 weeks ago.. i did take one today!! because i felt like it and the fact that i got of it cold turkey means i have control of this drug but i had lost it for almost a year and a half .. so you have control until you dont... and trust me ive bin on the benzos they used to call me caloni ronni (calonzepan0 and (alprazalam) if i spelt those right im sure u know what they are since you went through it!!! the worst time of my life was when i was taking 2 30s a day and a couple bars 2mg a day the withdrawl from that was so surreal experience cause i was in so much pain and still depressed as fck that i said give me what you got!!! like on forest gump when the lutenit is on the boat and its just poaring and hes telling god he'll never take this boat down!!! thats alls i kept thinking for about the week and a half i was sick!! but wa happend after that is id stop monday thru friday and take fri sat sun and be sick the rest of the week i realize it takes months for that shit to get out of your system and even when u think its gone your tolerance is still so high after months u still need the same amount to get highso i was up until like 3 weeks ago iono i stopped counting counting the days is bad makes it worse!!! seems like the day dont end and i remeber this time last year i felt like i didnt have enough time in the day because i was doing what i dreamed about since i was 13 grow potand work at a hydro store .. i know not huge goals but at the the time it was practically impossible without risking my freedom i was extremly book smart about the plant by 14 you could ask me anything and i would know it!!! its amazing how you learn when your obssessed with something everything just clicked for me and wheni was time to move out at 18 i was seeing that shit MASS might be the next one to medicaly legalize it! we were like second or 3rd from the states to medicaly legalize it!!! i=and i had to have bin the first mmp in mass because the moment i new it was gonna be legal i started calling california medical marijuana docotors!! their were still in cali when i made my appoinment it wasnt even legalize by the state yet but they new how it was going to work once the people of my state say yes they have no choice but to put laws governing this plant.i began growing right away the day i got my liscense i planted to some seeds i got from europe attitudeseeds.org and my ifrst time with legit lights i did great but it was a learning curve i figured u could use any light......as long as the temps stay perfect but i quickly learned they like a certian spectrum which i knew what spectrums was i just needed to put 2 2 together which i did very quickly im a fenominal indoor grower like ive met one person who understands that plant the way i do!! and ive bin to colorado checked out about 5 of their dispeserias and grow houses!!! if you only new what they were putting on these plants just to get a harvest...i could smell the pestiside walking in the warehouse!! see even smells i know when something is up with the plant or the room just by smelling outside of the room!! i digress i spent about 5k moving up thier plus the bills i had accumilated cause of them nt helping at all.... so i had like 10k saved up at that point which is not much but it was to me back then i had just saved up that up for the first time!!! so i bought a brandnew truck cause maine and the snow AND A CAR DONT MIX so i did all these things according to what these millionairse told me thinking its all gonna be alright but they left me up their with nothing not even place to live the place i had found was full of fleas like first day thier flease jumping on a sub i had ordered i was simply grossed out and i simply quit the next day i was so over whelmed that night i cried all night cause i was getting bit all night..... apparently this is normal for white folks with dogs to have fleas... cause they just told me to brush it off thats when i quit..... i have 2 dogs now in a basement havnt seen a fllea yet... granted their pitbulls and you cocaisions like golden retrievers and such, long hair dogs....is that its normal?see all my white friends are from the ghetto so they live like complete trash the dogs and the cats i even feel bad for one of their dog looks like a stray dog from india or some shit...i dought that dog has ever seen a bath shoot sometimes he smells so bad i wonder when he last showered but i also have family that are fckn gross spanish side and they own a restaurant!!! even that place is gross but people seem to like the food!! i wouldn't eat thier for free which i can....but i won't .....the smell in their literally sticks on you the moment u walk in !! so gross, i digress so i leave maine and i start a grow in my uncles garage 2 door garage built a frame in a paid for every little screw he put n that room but come when were almost done and he can't believe it he sais i aint paying you shit cause its not what we agreed to he sais to me... so im like wtf are u talking about of course we agreed rto you paying half of everything come harvest. see i had all the equipment and i was paying the electric bill watering it was all me checking on them at 2 am just cause i felt something funny a couple of times i went thier lights were off when they were suppost to be on but not a problem that why i checked cause he doesnt understand the importance of 12/12.... so come harvest im trimming and taking what i trim home... cause he already pulled some slick shit on me with perks... gives me the money to go get em when i get out of work someone walks into the store and i take the 250 he gave and put it in the middle counsel he stayed in the car while i deal with the customer... he comes in hydro store and sais im leaving see u later this is about half hour before i close the store so i close the store and i go into my car moneys gone!!!! see i always had a stack of money never did i count it as it came in and he new that so he thought i was fckn retarted i call him right away and i start flipping out cause he knows what he did he on the phone telling me i misplaced it .. and im just like fuck you bruh loose my # this is my uncle who raised me i couldn't believe it so he apologizes after a year and thats when we started the grow and he decides to again screw me over kept the rest of the weed and about 5k in equipment i tell him again fck off so that same cousin i tripped with was living at my mothers at the time so was i we kick him outcast of some dumb shit and the next week he and my uncle decide to steal a weed plant out of my back yard.. caught on camera and everything....wheni showed my aunt she denied it was them ski drive up the hill and slam it in reverse and start burning out on their lawn. i get out of the vehicle cause they were getting close and i didn't want run anyone over just for them to get i don't take shit from no one!! my uncles a carpenter see he's just naturaly huge he starts kicking my ass!!! were on the floor my cousin his son which he's a big boy to but just 17 had him in a head lock so i see him getting blue i start spitting in his face he spits back theirs these bricks on my head like gardening bricks to raise the bed a little i go to grab one but i can't im on my back he sees me try to grab a brick and grabs it himself at this point he's blue choked out about to hit me with a brick....i get up get in my truck and drive off they call the police and i tell them everything show them the recording... and their like get actual recording on a memory stick and we will come pick him up.. i never did.... now i dream of them constantly about pay back and its eating me inside
bud
