I was with someone for 5 years. I dont drink or drug and I didnt know he was a long term heroin user - he would use any drug but heroin is his DOC. He did tell me about it but I thought he was clean. So for the past 5 years I stuck by him through rehabs, jail, cheating, lies, manipulation ect. I tried not to enable but I know I didnt handle all the relapses well. The hurt and pain was and still is very raw and real.
He relapsed last March 2016 - maybe sooner but I didn't know for sure. By August 2016 I helped him get into a free rehab which put him on lock down for a month then he had free time on evenings and weekends where he could check out as long as he was back by midnight. He did very and seemed to be acting normal and loving the first 2 months. Then he started changing. He was acting as if he was still on heroin but he wasnt as he was being drug tested. I found out he had started taking Kratom. He did this 2 years ago and left me that time as well - dated someone else - ended up back on heroin - and of course I took him back in.
By Nov 2016 he told me he was planning on staying at the rehab and working there after he graduated - he no longer wanted to come home. He was nice one minute and very cold the next. He stopped calling and asking to see me as much. He told me in one conversation he wanted to focus on his recovery of which I can respect but the next sentence was he wanted to do whatever he wanted to do and didnt want anyone to tell him what to do.
He came to my home on a pass the beginning of Dec 2016 and still wasnt acting normal. All he wanted to do was play video games. He adopted a dog from a rescue 2 years ago and didnt seem to care about him anymore either. When I dropped him off after his pass I didnt hear from him for a week. I use to be close to his mom who I also found out had started sending him money he seemed to cause fights between us. I now have no contact with her. She hates me.
On christmas day I went to the rehab and he told me I was stupid and he didnt want to see me anymore - we were done. No thoughts on his dog or me. He basically laughed at me when I was crying.
On Jan 3rd he got an emergency order of protection against me by lien to the judge - this was dismissed at the hearing 2 weeks later. He then tried to get another emergency order of protection on my last Thursday and that was denied but he requested a hearing so I have to go to court again on Feb 23rd. I have not spoke to him since Dec 25th 2016. I have not went to the rehab. I have had no contact with him at all.
He tells his family he is clean and done with drugs for good because he doesnt want to come back to me.
He is now on dating sites.
He is still staying at the rehab and they graduated him the end of January.
I dont know if he is still using Kratom to get a high from - can pass a drug test but its like I dont even know who he is. He is posting bad things about me on his facebook page. I cant see them as he blocked me but my friends can. He says I am a psycho and I am pathetic and I am a stalker.
The dog he rescued is now in my name and I wont abandon him as its not his fault and I love animals.
Am I denial about all this? Is he really on the path to recovery? Does he just not want me in his life because he has a free place to live and a job now? Was everything a lie?
When he first went to this rehab this time he said he was afraid of losing me and he couldnt wait to come home to be with me and his dog. He completely changed. I am just at a loss as to what to think. Of course I want him clean and happy. But from what I have read this doesnt seem like someone who is serious about recovery or following the 12 steps. I think he still goes to meetings. He is very cocky and arrogant again. With his new facebook he is friends with all his old friends - some he used drugs with - some from the rehab - some girls he use to have relationships with. None of these people have been around in 5 years to help or support him - nothing. It was just me. Now I am the outcast.
This isnt the first time he has done this to me. I am not perfect but when he fails I am the one he calls. I am afraid of hearing from him again and other part of me is afraid I wont ever hear from him again.
Any comments - or thoughts would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you.
He relapsed last March 2016 - maybe sooner but I didn't know for sure. By August 2016 I helped him get into a free rehab which put him on lock down for a month then he had free time on evenings and weekends where he could check out as long as he was back by midnight. He did very and seemed to be acting normal and loving the first 2 months. Then he started changing. He was acting as if he was still on heroin but he wasnt as he was being drug tested. I found out he had started taking Kratom. He did this 2 years ago and left me that time as well - dated someone else - ended up back on heroin - and of course I took him back in.
By Nov 2016 he told me he was planning on staying at the rehab and working there after he graduated - he no longer wanted to come home. He was nice one minute and very cold the next. He stopped calling and asking to see me as much. He told me in one conversation he wanted to focus on his recovery of which I can respect but the next sentence was he wanted to do whatever he wanted to do and didnt want anyone to tell him what to do.
He came to my home on a pass the beginning of Dec 2016 and still wasnt acting normal. All he wanted to do was play video games. He adopted a dog from a rescue 2 years ago and didnt seem to care about him anymore either. When I dropped him off after his pass I didnt hear from him for a week. I use to be close to his mom who I also found out had started sending him money he seemed to cause fights between us. I now have no contact with her. She hates me.
On christmas day I went to the rehab and he told me I was stupid and he didnt want to see me anymore - we were done. No thoughts on his dog or me. He basically laughed at me when I was crying.
On Jan 3rd he got an emergency order of protection against me by lien to the judge - this was dismissed at the hearing 2 weeks later. He then tried to get another emergency order of protection on my last Thursday and that was denied but he requested a hearing so I have to go to court again on Feb 23rd. I have not spoke to him since Dec 25th 2016. I have not went to the rehab. I have had no contact with him at all.
He tells his family he is clean and done with drugs for good because he doesnt want to come back to me.
He is now on dating sites.
He is still staying at the rehab and they graduated him the end of January.
I dont know if he is still using Kratom to get a high from - can pass a drug test but its like I dont even know who he is. He is posting bad things about me on his facebook page. I cant see them as he blocked me but my friends can. He says I am a psycho and I am pathetic and I am a stalker.
The dog he rescued is now in my name and I wont abandon him as its not his fault and I love animals.
Am I denial about all this? Is he really on the path to recovery? Does he just not want me in his life because he has a free place to live and a job now? Was everything a lie?
When he first went to this rehab this time he said he was afraid of losing me and he couldnt wait to come home to be with me and his dog. He completely changed. I am just at a loss as to what to think. Of course I want him clean and happy. But from what I have read this doesnt seem like someone who is serious about recovery or following the 12 steps. I think he still goes to meetings. He is very cocky and arrogant again. With his new facebook he is friends with all his old friends - some he used drugs with - some from the rehab - some girls he use to have relationships with. None of these people have been around in 5 years to help or support him - nothing. It was just me. Now I am the outcast.
This isnt the first time he has done this to me. I am not perfect but when he fails I am the one he calls. I am afraid of hearing from him again and other part of me is afraid I wont ever hear from him again.
Any comments - or thoughts would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you.
