an antipsychotic may not produce any kind of clarity or insight to your situation. But if it does, then we've got a direction to move in.
Thi is the problem with the psychiatric profession as a whole. this isn't just their attitude; it's their business model!...
When we were "exploring" things in hospital I was told my "strange belief" was "pychosis";
even though as you've seen from start to finish in this thread I'm not fixated on any of these thoughts, I can change my beliefs based on the most rational evidence...;
So I was put on respiridone 2mg.
Instantly as I 'came up' on my first pill I felt a sharp pain go up my neck and inside an artery inside my head, but only on the left side, like I'd just felt mercury get pumped directly into the left brain.
after an hour I was starting to mis-understand people speaking: they would say something, and it would just seem like jibberish (respiridone had started to mess with 'What I hear' and 'what I process as sound')
Before long I was hearing the background noise of people talking in the room next, as if it was dirctly talking to me, (with my rain brain filling in the gaps of what it couldn't make out) [I understand all of these processes and how "insanity" works neurologically: fortunately the fact I can witness something like a symptom of scitzophrenia in myself, and "label" it, means it will automatically be halted and re-governed by the left brain - no matter what the process is, so long as I remain in control and not scared.]
But I can see how if you didn't know how to stop scitzophrenia or psychosis in its tracks like I can, it would be petrifying. I feel so sorry for anyone who suffers from it.
Anyway I told the doctors that the respiridone was causing thee psychosis like effects, and the doctor said "oh don't worry, that's just one of the side effects, it means you don't have enough, we need to up your dose..."
So they upped my dose, and the symptoms exacerbated [if you're not crazy, and take anti-psychotics, they make you crazy - not always but most times.
I pointed this out to the doctors: pointed out they'd 'diagnosed' me as I walked in the door, and were now giving me drugs that were inducing the symptoms to fit their diagnosis....
After one week they couldn't see any signs of their original diagnosis, and so said they'd "cured me" with respiridone and sent me home.
I went home and spent two weeks with respiridone induced psychosis: people would say something to me and it would sound like it was in reverse - or I would forget names of things, or I would hear the hum of the fridge speaking to me (it would say whatever I wanted, as it was just my imagintion, same thing with hearing the next door neighbours talk through the wall, I could hear them talking about me, but by my left brain deciding to label that info as "just respiridone crossing right and left brain pathways, the left would take back control from the respiridone side effect and I could make them say anything I wanted (because I knew I was imagining it)
But I can imagine this sort of thing would PARALYZE you with fear if you didn't understand it/weren't able to rationalise it.
Anyway the doctors kept telling me i needed more respiridone, all except one who said I shouldn't have been taking respridone, But all these doctors were very - shall we say keen on, or biased towards - disproving my version of events and denying that all I've said is possible.
So much so that the hospital they took me to was half way across the country and a Military Cat 5 MOD Hospital... (wink wink)
50 points to the house of anyone who can tell me why that was...
Anyway the military doctors were all obviously being useless, and my outpatient checkup nurse for when I left was former military intelligence officer
(I'm not making this up, they were all very honest and each happily told me about it all, by their own admission (a big part of it is they enjoy it, the pride of the brag, [which can be dangerously addictive, considering] they almost need the thrill of it, just so they can sense some feeling whatsever...)
all very suspicious and uneccesary for someone simply claiming to have gone to the other side (/methinks they just wanted the metadata/and maybe to help steal my soul)
anyway, I decided to admit myself to a regular hospital, the doctor was shocked and appauled at what had hapened. couldn't understand why they'd admitted me in the first place (you need to be a danger to yourself or others), where they got the diagnosis from, why I was on respiridone. Even said that all my notes the whole time they were investigating me ALL said i didn't have fixated delusions, but they were going ahead and putting it on my record anyway (bloody nazis completely ruined my military career just so they could get their million"pans")
He immediaely took me of respiridone, and my "fuzzyness" symptoms went away instantly. I was lucid and normal in hospital.
We spoke a lot over the weeks I was in hospital, he said I wasn't crazy and said it just seemed to be a mistake (but said off the record he suspected otherwise)
conclusion:
"mental health" is a minefield.
an antipsychotic may not produce any kind of clarity or insight to your situation. But if it does, then we've got a direction to move in.
You can only prove a positive, you can't prove a negative.
otherwise you do what those first doctors do and give you an anti-psychotic you don't need, so that they can keep "treating" an illness that they're giving to you...
none of the doctors even bothered looking into or investigate if I was telling the truth btw.
Not even one.
They all just assumed everything I said was "farfetched/made up/psychosis". the system is broken (or appears to be, it actually makes massive amounts of money)