Your last relationship: How long did it last? Did it end well? Badly?

[Jabberwocky]

2 years...?

Yep, I was just out of high school. She seemed normal at first but started slowly getting worse. She would get so pissed when other hot women looked at me (and they constantly did) I stayed with her as long as I did because she could keep up with me in the bedroom. I was on high doses of anabolic steroids at the time so I was very very horny 24/7.

 

[Bearlove]

Maybe someday I will see that sweet angel again. ...right?

Your better of moving forward thinking that you won't see him again - you had your time with him and that time is over. Let that wound heal, cry those tears and move on, if you don't you will keep live in the 'what if zone'. I know that sound really harsh (and it is) but it is out of your control and can only have a negative impact on you.

 

[nuttynutskin]

4 years on and off and it ended badly both times. Somehow we're still friends but there is still some resentment on how things went down.

 

[szuko000]

This is kind of on topic its about nostalgia: I could never fully understand peoples longing to return to the past. I had an awesome relationship with both my exes, the first being 4 years during high school and the second lasting for 5 years after college, but i would never want to get back with either of them.

I refuse to fall victim to nostalgia all things last for a duration and come to an end, it is natural. As humans we need to accept that things will not remain constant and in order to be happy we need to adapt to ever changing lives. If i were to look back and thinks "i wish i could recapture that moment" then i am not spending the time thinking about the future where possibilities are boundless. I can achieve all of the goals i have in the future, the past does not accomplish any of that.

In my mind one of the most important qualities someone can have is the ability to move on. From relationships, from death, and traumatic experiences; your past does not dictate your future if you dont let it.

/end semi off topic post.

 

[protovack]

When you say 'creator of the universe' it makes me think of God.

me too. Anyway, my point was to show how you can see a relationship in a different way, as something nested within a larger framework. You dont have to be christian to experience that, but many christians do view human-human relationships this way.

 

[malakaix]

This is kind of on topic its about nostalgia: I could never fully understand peoples longing to return to the past.

In my mind one of the most important qualities someone can have is the ability to move on. From relationships, from death, and traumatic experiences; your past does not dictate your future if you dont let it.

I agree. This is why I always cut all contact with ex's. I know some people don't agree with this and prefer to remain friends but for me this is how I move on.

I've done the same with old friendships that no longer serve a purpose, I know that sound's harsh but in my experience most friendships/relationships develop on a mutually beneficial basis; you're both adding value to each other's live in some form; when/if that ceases to happen then it's no longer beneficial. Everyone moves through life at different stages and I've found the most valuable lesson is learning when to stay and when to let go.

 

[szuko000]

^ yeah i constantly change groups whenever my life does so ive gotten use to not saying i will try to keep in touch like i use to. Upon leaving my first college for the one i was transferring i told my old friends i would visit. Mind you i had intent but it was like 70 miles away i never saw them after that. Life is just really busy and its never because i dont like them or we hate each other its just hard to keep my life on the path i want with just my few local friends.

I've tried to be straight up with the people i work with now (5 years here) "once im gone i might swing by if im in the area becasue its not far but dont expect me to reach out... i consider you guys great but i know me saying the opposite has been a lie in the past, i wont lie." My life is a bunch of compartments, once that part is done all traces of it are removed from my life. Its exactly why quitting dope was easy... i just dumped all my "friends and associates" in a single bat of an eye changed my group and never made contact again. Its nothing personal its just MY life and its easier with 2 or 3 loyal people i communicate with then 10 with only 2 trusted.

 

[ZayKayWill]

Bump

 

[xdressingdonna]

My last relationship ened three months ago. He just didn't want to see me anymore. I think he was embarrassed to be seen with a transgender MTF.

 

[Xorkoth]

My last relationship was 12 years long. Dunno why I let it last that long as she was very emotionally abusive and unstable. It feels weird looking back that I allowed someone to treat me like that, I have a really healthy relationship now thankfully.

Obviously it ended badly. Well actually it ended better than the last 5 years of being in it were. I caught her telling my really good friend (our mutual friend) that she had feelings for him (obviously he told me right away, not sure why she thought he wouldn't but she was pretty crazy), and it broke the spell. She lost her power over me and realized it and has been really nice in the separation, she didn't try to get anything from me in the divorce and she's never been abusive towards me since then. We have no contact anymore. Over time I have become disgusted with the whole thing and although she hoped we'd remain friends, and when we separated I felt surprisingly positive towards her, over time I realized I wanted her totally out of my life. When I told her it was over and why, I think she finally realized how terrible she was to me. She isn't a bad person, she is just really damaged and refuses to admit she has a personality disorder. I think she's really sad about it and might still wish we were together based on some conversations we had 2 years or so ago, but she knows there is no chance of that. I do feel kind of bad for her even now, but I'm so glad to have escaped. She lives with her mom because now that I'm not supporting her, she is basically unable to support herself which was also true during our 6 years of marriage. She realized what she had too late. I get a bit of satisfaction from that but mostly I feel sorry for her because she really is quite mentally ill.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

5 years. Intially.. ended intensely.. but now 6 months later, we are in a good place. No ill feelings. He's actually reached out to me for advice, etc... we are just cool. It's nice.

 

[Slimzfavorite]

a year and a half, before her my ex cheated on me so i was very nervous about things. Should have never gotten into a relationship, i became controlling in fear she would cheat too. Anddddddd, in the end she did end up cheating with one of my good friends, therefore we broke up and it was brutal. i honestly don't blame her now though, as the way i treated her why would i expect her to be loyal. Loyalty should be given only if deserved in my opinion. whole thing has left me mentally closed off.