It's not the drug that makes a drug addict it's the need to escape reality

[AjV8111]

Well guys this is a story about why I started using think what you want and let me know what got you started if you want.
It started when I was in high school. I met this guy we can call him R. Well R my uncl and I were all at R's house we was throwing a football around and just dicking around and then it happened I met R's sister and I just froze in my tracks. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. As I was standing there staring like a fool and R must have thought it would be hilarious to throw the football and drill me right in the head. It literally knocked me off my feet as I lay there on the ground she came over to make sure I was ok we will call her E. E is sitting next to me and I know this sounds cheesy but when she picked my head up and put it on her lap I couldn't feel anything any more. She had the prettiest green eyes I could look in them all day. So anyway after I snapped out of the trance she had me in we started talking and yes I could hardly even form words let alone sentence but E helped me out and E and I became good friends and one night we was all hanging out around a fire drinking a few beers and a few people needed a refill so E got up and started to walk back to the house to get them and about half way she yelled at me and said well are you going to help me so I'm helping get the beers and before I new it she had me pushed up against the fridge kissing me. It was a great night BUTTTT this was the start to most of my problems. You see it was great for about 4 years and on the 5th year she was pregnant and that was amazing and we started our lives so I thought. Well lets put it this way she was starting her life just not with me. I could handel break ups just fine but what she took with her I couldn't handle. I felt like I was going to die but over time I got my shit together and got a great job I started at 10 bucks by the 6th months I was at 13.35. And not long after my son was born I found out by people blowing me up on Facebook congratulating me I said what the hell are you all doing and someone said well your son was born. I ran an ran until my buddy seen me he picked me up and he already new where we was going. So I get there and I'm running around and I finely found out what floor she was on and im about to reach her room and a sercurity gard stoped me and asked what I was running for I said my son was just born in there and instead of letting me in he pulled me off the side to make sure and by the time he finished she new I was there and wouldn't let me in and see him. I later found out after I got draged out that birch that he was born 2 days before I even heard anything. This is when I finely broke. Its been five years since then and I've tried just about every drug I could get my hands on up until a little over a year ago. Now I'm clean and have my Owen place and car and I'm currently taking her to court.

 

[SunsweptSurrender]

Hey man, thanks for sharing this. Writing about stuff like this stirs up a lot of emotions and I feel for you that your girl ghosted you and didn't let you see your kid.

Addiction is definitely more complicated than just liking the high. It was teenage heartbreak that spurred me on to try heroin for the first time. I didn't like talking to people about my problems but the heroin told me everything was going to be ok and gave me a warm hug.

Back to your story: your description of meeting the girl was really amazing. But I kind of feel like there's something your not telling us. Why did she cut off contact completely, it sounds like not a normal break up, did you fuck up bad? It's ok man, I've fucked up badly with relationships before, if you're a drug addict it's quite common. Also where are you from, I'm guessing you're foreign, non-native speaking, from the way you write?

 

[d0ubleya]

Hey man, sad story , glad to hear it worked out in the end though! I agree with ya on the escaping reality part.
It goes from escaping reality to a daily cycle?

 

[dgdtemple]

I would agree with much of what you have said, and recall a book I read long ago by a professor at UCLA (I think....) called "Intoxication", the authors last name was Segal. There was a great deal of information in his book, one of the points made was a desire for almost all humans (or even animals) to change their reality, their consciousness as often as their clothes if it was unpleasant for any stretch of time. Simple enough I know, and no great help to have an explanation. My take was always to avoid the same "means" of consciousness change if possible unless it was a healthy one like running or yoga, etc. But life is not that simple.