Progressing Meth Addiction

[JBrandon]

The problem with quitting meth, for me, is that I am essentially a non-functioning member of society for at least three months afterwards.

So I understand when people feel like they "can't" stop because of their career, etc etc etc.

But in some cases, you have to choose between all these things you think are so important (school, work)... and being alive.

 

[Professortweak]

Ever since I started smoking meth with my boyfriend 2 months ago, I always end up looking at him in those eyes I fell in love with, the fear written all over my face, and saying, "we have to stop"..... then I take a hit. Wtf. We're awful.

I used to not find it very appealing either, but when I finally got that rush on day 3 my 4th time trying it...... well, it's 8 weeks later and I've been smoking daily, for the most part. It will progress very quickly. We used to share a 1/4 G over a couple days, and now. Shit I don't even know how much we're doing now, but tolerance builds up with a goddamn quickness! Let's just say that same 1/4 G wouldn't last me alone even half the day.

Thus far, the bills are being paid and basic needs are being met. But that's really just barely. My bf, when I bring up quitting, will always say "we would have spent this extra money on beer or pills otherwise, why is meth different". Excellent point babe (we used to be heavy drinkers, then started abusing pills..... now this), but let's not forget that we just "spring cleaned" our entire house from top to bottom in search of things to sell, so that we could get high. Never once did that with beer or pills! To be fair, we only sold the things that we truly didn't want or need, but that's really just my addicted brain trying to justify my actions.

I think the biggest red flag was that when it was time to quit (basically every week since we started, we've decided to "quit"), I would be filled with fear, almost panic. The 2 day break we just had was so difficult. I was extremely depressed, irritable, and even paranoid. I felt lightheaded just from being on my feet. I was goddamn exhausted and so thirsty it was unreal. I think if I had to choose a worst, it would be the depression. I felt like I would literally never be happy again unless I got high.

I am pretty certain I was born an addict

Meth is *slowly* stealing my money, intelligence, family/friends, youth, health, and (if I even had any to begin with) beauty. What a fucking bitch of a drug.

I've went through a similar experience with my girlfriend, right before we both got locked up. It gets to a point, with me anyway, that I don't quit until I'm forced to. You don't want that to happen. The anedonia, not getting pleasure from anything, and depression are the worst withdrawal effects, but the worst of it will be over in a week, especially the depression. You'll have to force yourself to find new things you get enjoyment from. The biggest problem will be you insatiable desire for that rush. Thankfully, I don't think you said you inject, so you have a better chance at beating it, but still not easy. But, as long as you and your boyfriend are together, I don't think either of you will get clean. If you both agree to enter a detox facility or mental health facility at the same time, you'll have better results. Just telling you my opinion from what experience I have, but I wish you the best. Be safe and, above all, have fun and learn to enjoy yourself without constantly worrying.

 

[JBrandon]

Just burned off all the MSM from a ball I had ordered, then did a plain-Jane 'tone wash. Took minimal effort and time... difference in product is amazing. When I order a quarter or up I'll usually do a re-x as well.

It's worth the loss of product, the cost, and your time people. Clean your shit!

 

[SideWinder007]

Thanks for your reply. That last sentence really took me by surprise, do we know each other!?!?! Lol. Because yes, I am a worrier, and it really does make it difficult to enjoy life in general. I struggle with anxiety and depression so I'm assuming it stems from that.

My bf and I have been fighting a lot lately. I can see how his addiction is changing him, making him more shot tempered, and even fake/deceitful. Some of his best qualities that make me love him I'm now seeing more negatively. As of right now I feel like our relationship is stronger because of the fights we've had, we have learned a lot about each other. But I do think if it continues....... well, I don't wanna think about that. But I definitely agree in a way. I just don't know what to do.

 

[gnarkills]

I used to smoke with a "crew" of methy friends, and the simple thing I can say for me was "misery loves company" If you don't like doing it for it's sometimes very effective short term benefits and feel socially obliged to use it/with others then I would say it's time to drop it for a bit.

I occasionally do Meth, seldom with others. I have a dealer I've known since high-school that I trust and also has a part-time job/pretty stable life for someone dealing. Being stable with my "setup" to use and understanding my (yours) characteristics are key to staying on top of any addiction. I try to keep meth use to once every two months or so and using a decent amount for a decent amount of time, having sleepers/food/alcohol/rent paid prior to any "binge" so there is no risk of derailing certain aspects of my life that enable an enjoyable experience.

TLDR version: Balance bro. Balance.