Progressing Meth Addiction

[Justwannaknow]

To keep this short, right now let's call it being an occasional meth user and keeping it about as responsible as you can with such a substance. I know it has a tendancy to escalate, so what are some possible signs that I may be becoming dependent? (Physical, mental, emotional). What normally makes people want to quit? I know that the fact of it destroying my life isn't a concern to me, even though it probably should. So maybe changing personality or legal risks? I don't care to stop now because it's the only drug easily accesible around here. Yes, it's irresponsible thinking, but I'm just curious about what to expect in the future. Right now it's only occasional because I really don't see that much appeal, I just get it when it's offered, but I'm aware that can change. So just curious what have been the main red flags for others.

 

[T. Calderone]

I know that the fact of it destroying my life isn't a concern to me, even though it probably should.

^ I think this is your first red flag- the fact that destroying your life is not a concern for you. I'm not a stimulants person but this could be said of any drug: when you realize that you don't want to stop using regardless of the risks. Right now you say that you are an occasional user but with many people, the compulsion to keep using takes over. (Anonymous ------- The Dark Side)

 

[fatstep]

Apathy is a red flag. As is accepting defeat before the Battle.
Meth has a...DK the right word but it makes everything be okay and possible in most cases, so with something that normally has healthy negative and positive boundaries with the meth the positive is so definite in the moment and when it's all ending it is like all the bad that had been tucked away earlier always comes back with an absolute fury. Emotional fury, physical fury, spiritual fury. It is evil of anything ever could be truly evil it would be methamphetamine

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I know that the fact of it destroying my life isn't a concern to me, even though it probably should. I don't care to stop now because it's the only drug easily accesible around here. Yes, it's irresponsible thinking, but I'm just curious about what to expect in the future.

These are major red flags and signs of addiction. As for what will happen in the future, the drug will destroy your life, mind, and body. Get help and stop using the drug. Stay safe.

 

[JBrandon]

I'd rather go back to using heroin than go back to using meth, if that tells you anything. The aftermath was horrific.

 

[Ozekat]

Meth is a total trickster of a drug, for most who become addicted it seems that it takes years to fully get away from it.

For me once I start looking better and feeling better I justify those two criteria as a reason to use meth again. Lately I'm just using in total darkness and everything is falling apart....such a thing as meth shouldn't exist but unfortunately it does.

Its so fucking hard to stop using completely and I've still not really seen the long-term light at the end of the tunnel. The longest I've been able to go without is 2 1/2 months since late 2013.... and often i get 1 month long breaks scattered here and there between use. guess I'm lucky to have time away from it because many do not.

 

[JBrandon]

While I have found other drugs to have "worse" withdrawals or discontinuation syndromes, meth was very hard for me to quit because I had cravings for it on a regular basis for well over a year after I quit taking it.

It truly is a drug that requires an inordinate amount of time and abstinence from in order to get it's hooks out of you.

I think the PAWS from heroin was worse... but I've never ever had cravings for anything like I've had for meth.

Best of luck

 

[_Spinderella_]

I guess I'm curious why you would chance picking up a habit to something you don't find all that appealing.

Meth is a sneaky bastard. It let's you think you're in control of everything for awhile, but by the time you realize you aren't, it's something you're no longer doing recreationally, but rather something you rely on to merely feel normal.

For the most part, withdrawals from meth don't typically bring about the horrific flu-like symptoms that opiate withdrawals are known for, but long-term meth use can wreak havoc on your mental state and it can take years to recover from that. I read an article that described it as a "self-inflicted mental illness."

Normally, when dopamine is released it goes to receptors; once those receptors are full the unused dopamine is recycled so it can be used again. The chemical shape of meth is similar to that of dopamine, so the reuptake molecules responsible for recycling unneeded dopamine are also picking up meth molecules inadvertently, leaving behind dopamine molecules which are then broken down and destroyed. Fortunately, the brain is capable of reproducing that dopamine but it is a slow process, which could possibly explain the prolonged cravings and such.

I have been a daily meth user for three years with a seven month period of sobriety. During that seven months I remember having frequent cravings but they weren't so intense that I couldn't redirect my attention towards something more constructive. And then one day out of the clear blue sky, while standing in line at the convenience store, I started jonesing so badly my hands started shaking, my legs were weak, I was lightheaded, and I had a hard time sleeping. That went on for three days until I broke down and started using again. Before meth, I was a moderately happy person with a mild case of social anxiety that I was able to manage on my own. Today I take an antidepressant and two medications for anxiety. I have noticed a decline in my long and short term memory and I have a hard time finding joy with hobbies that used to be a source of comfort and happiness for me.

If you find very little intriguing about this drug, if you're only doing it because it's the easiest thing to get your hands on, my advice would be to get out while you still can and thank your lucky stars that you walked away unscathed because it's a long, bumpy road back to normalcy after meth.

Wishing you the best.

 

[VainAlchemist]

Truer words cannot have ever been spoken. I'm a walking example of why you should never try this drug if you already have poor coping strategies to begin with. I was addicted to meth for 4-5 months, only to have switched addictions to Adderall after only 2 months of sobriety from amphetamines, which has gone on for 7 months, and I've been chewed up and spit out by these drugs. And yet I sit idly by, waiting, as I've done for the last 7 years. Waiting for what? A miracle? Someone to come scoop me up and bring me to the heaven I know doesn't exist? It's almost like I live to die.


I miss the days in my younger youth when I was staunchly anti-drug, but nostalgia will not fix my future, which is ever-so-dubious. I'm only 22, and I live the life of a retired person living out his last days in a nursing home. I guess that's what happens when you live a life that is based on shutting everyone in order to avoid dealing with the stigma of being shunned and rejected your whole life.


This is my first post here, hopefully not my last. I didn't want to create a new thread for myself, so I just used a befitting thread to spread my cautionary tale.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

^ you're only 22, there's still plenty of time to turn things around. Plenty of time to find something you're interested in that doesn't involve speed.

I was a recreational user of speed (Adderall/Dex and street meth) for about 4 or 5 years. It's a very "fiendy" drug when you're involved with it but I've found it to be pretty easy to distance myself from, ultimately. The thing with meth is...it'll make you feel REALLY good at first, but subsequent dosing happens at the expense of being hydrated, of consuming calories, and of sleeping (sometimes at all). I realize that not all users are like that but that's definitely how I was. Some tweakers embrace these aspects (!) but they always made me eventually feel like complete & utter shit. How meth will ultimately turn you into a quivering, thwacked-out looking mess ultimately proved to be pretty useful in staying away from it

The hardest stimulant I do nowadays is caffeine. LOL.

Meth is like any addiction IMO, in that it's often a symptom of a larger problem. Until that larger problem is addressed and resolved the user is never going to be truly happy, meth or no meth...the drug may help for a bit but it'll come at the expense of a chaotic, fucked up habit (methamphetamine addiction). Ultimately the rate of meth use hasn't really been higher in rural locales than in well-populated urban areas, but it's probably no coincidence that the problem often became "acute" in areas with shuttered industries, economic depression, the boredom & listlessness that often accompanies rural life, etc. (The same could probably also be said with opiates...hence why West Virginia leads the nation in overdose deaths)

The point is...hopeless isn't good. Until you find something meaningful and hopeful in your life...it doesn't bode well for your struggle with meth usage, hell it doesn't bode well for your life in general. Realize that there are more important things in life that snorting some burning chemicals into your nose or twirling a glass dick all day long! Get some self-respect and a purpose! It's as simple and as complicated as that

 

[Professortweak]

I've smoked meth a couple of times in the past, but around April of 2016 I hit a connect of some awesome ice. This time, I shot it. Each hit was great, but what was really great was the ones I discovered you could do more on and not die. With every drug I get addicted to, I want that perfect shot. The one that takes you to deaths door, knocks and waits for an answer, but without scaring you. Since losing all connections to ice, I've started injecting the white powdered from that comes from the shake and bake method. At first, given the right size shot, it felt just as good as any of the ice, and some shots were better. Both kinds gave me the same symptoms when doing a large shot. Cough, warm throughout body, and a hugely intense euphoria that took over my whole body. I would notice that my heart sped up, maybe a light raise in blood pressure, but no physical side effects scared me. Now, I've been using the shake kind for going on 7 months. Same thing at first, no sever physiological effects that are bad enough to scare me. The euphoric high scared me more than bodily part did. Go forward 4 or 5 months and I'm losing the coughing effect, I feel an overwhelming intense heat all over my body, my heart tries to come out of my chest, and I ended up in the hospital with a brain abnormality that was indicative of a stroke. Shortly thereafter, my life is probably saved by a 4 month jail sentence. The present. 2 days in with freedom and 4 months clean, I score 2 grams. Do a small tester, and it just enough to want to taste more nowhere near the fear of dying level. Second shot is always better, I've been clean for 4 months, but I still eyeball where I think I wanna be. Oh boy, one of the best ever.... I got that great in tial rush like before, but now, I'm getting pulse readings 172bmp, I'm so hot I take my Tahir off and walk out into the rain and it feels great, bad nausea, never vomit, but nausea last 4 or 5 minutes, strong urge to urinate and can't. I'm like, fuck man, I used to get better rushed than that without feeling like I'm gonna die. I just want as much advice and input I can about 2 things. Even though shake meth is a little crude and less concentrated, it's still meth. It's very white, very dry, sometimes rocked up, so it can't be so dirty to cause my body to deteriorate like that. Right? Could there be some other problems? Even after my 4 month sojourn, my body is still reacting this way. Secondly, can anyone tell me, with personal or first hand knowledge, the most common indicator of someone having a LETHAL physical overdose. If I know what to look for, I can be less panicked and enjoy my ride more. Thanks fellow Tweakster!!

 

[JBrandon]

Man if you already had a brush with a stroke then it's time to quit, full-stop. There *is* no safe use anymore.

Furthermore if you're doing shake and bake, especially shooting it, at the very least please wash it with acetone first.

 

[ShroomySatori]

The hardest stimulant I do nowadays is caffeine. LOL.

Me too man, let's not forget the theobromine that's in some caffeinated beverages mainly tea. That shit's hardcore, has a stronger effect on the peripheral nervous system than caffeine. After experimenting with fishscale and methamphetamine over the winter I ultimately found them to be not only useless in every way, but extremely harmful. I never had cravings I am a downer guy and I was just fucking around. I used a gram of coke over the entire winter, it was the best quality I have had but looking back it was just a shit drug. I preferred meth but it really is just fucking horrible for the body regardless of the addiction aspect.

The speed seemed really bad for me, even with very limited use. When I stopped, for a while I would randomly fall asleep throughout the day and I was using very little and also only orally.

I love tea. I like white tea so much (I've got such a phenomenal April-harvest white tea recently, that I've bought like a half-key of it lol), and I also enjoy green tea and some oolong tea but lately I've been icing this white tea on warm days and it is the best stimulant ever. Such a clean, crisp, refreshing straight tea with some intriguing flavour notes. I enjoy yerba mate, and guayusa (two south american rainforest teas full of caffeine), and I enjoy a little French press but not too much. Too much coffee will even burn me out.

Now if only I could get off the fucking dope... if only there was something that could replace it. Fuck those hardcore stimulants when there is such a variety of wonderful stimulating beverages. I *might * try coca tea, that would be interesting, but I find white tea more enjoyable than any of that hardcore stuff.

 

[Professortweak]

Man if you already had a brush with a stroke then it's time to quit, full-stop. There *is* no safe use anymore.

Furthermore if you're doing shake and bake, especially shooting it, at the very least please wash it with acetone first.

I do not know how to do this, and I know this isn't the place, even though it's harm reduction for me, but I'll look into it. Can't stop dude, got a hold on me like no other drug ever has.

 

[Erikmen]

I do not know how to do this, and I know this isn't the place, even though it's harm reduction for me, but I'll look into it. Can't stop dude, got a hold on me like no other drug ever has.

that's your cue to start thinking about quitting. Things just won't any get better and it's best to stop while you still can. Most of us only quit when we hit rock bottom.

 

[closeau]

Wow o can relate. I always hated meth and tweakers man just bugged me why you wanna do 15 chemicals bonded by acid. Idiots. Well in Feb in a manic state I shot up some meth that was given to me. 34 hrs straight then horrible crash and that meth mouth shit. Uuugh. But I was drawn back to it and it was given to me whenever I wanted it so I did it a few times then one more shot to get me thru a day in airports. I was so glad to be away from that shit. I got way better drugs now I enjoy but if it was given to me again I'd do it idk why so I can relate how sneaky it is. My stepsister kicked her meth habit 7 yrs ago it can be done. Abstain and seek help any way you can is my advice. Good luck yall

 

[zephyr]

that's your cue to start thinking about quitting. Things just won't any get better and it's best to stop while you still can. Most of us only quit when we hit rock bottom.

This is true. The hard part of stepping away from meth is fighting yourself to do it.


Yes it can be done. No you dont really need professional help. But you do need perseverence.

 

[zephyr]

And acetone wash is easy .

Pill2chills signature has the link and methods are all over bl. Wash that shit yo

 

[closeau]

Man I've slept an hr and got busy day. I'd love 5cc of meth right now. Yuck

 

[SideWinder007]

Ever since I started smoking meth with my boyfriend 2 months ago, I always end up looking at him in those eyes I fell in love with, the fear written all over my face, and saying, "we have to stop"..... then I take a hit. Wtf. We're awful.

I used to not find it very appealing either, but when I finally got that rush on day 3 my 4th time trying it...... well, it's 8 weeks later and I've been smoking daily, for the most part. It will progress very quickly. We used to share a 1/4 G over a couple days, and now. Shit I don't even know how much we're doing now, but tolerance builds up with a goddamn quickness! Let's just say that same 1/4 G wouldn't last me alone even half the day.

Thus far, the bills are being paid and basic needs are being met. But that's really just barely. My bf, when I bring up quitting, will always say "we would have spent this extra money on beer or pills otherwise, why is meth different". Excellent point babe (we used to be heavy drinkers, then started abusing pills..... now this), but let's not forget that we just "spring cleaned" our entire house from top to bottom in search of things to sell, so that we could get high. Never once did that with beer or pills! To be fair, we only sold the things that we truly didn't want or need, but that's really just my addicted brain trying to justify my actions.

Another warning sign/red flag that I was becoming addicted was the fact that I started ditching class. I went from a 3.8 GPA at midterms to now having Cs and Ds. I honestly believe that I had just used all my energy and motivation on the first half of the semester and had nothing left for the rest, but again my brain wants to make it okay for me to get high by telling me it wasn't the meth that caused my focus to shift when the reality is so obvious. I also started avoiding friends/family for fear they would find out. I've always had dark circles and been skinny, but this is different. You can just tell by looking. My personality has also undergone some changes, though I couldn't tell you specifically what they are. I just feel different. My bf seems a little different also.

I think the biggest red flag was that when it was time to quit (basically every week since we started, we've decided to "quit"), I would be filled with fear, almost panic. The 2 day break we just had was so difficult. I was extremely depressed, irritable, and even paranoid. I felt lightheaded just from being on my feet. I was goddamn exhausted and so thirsty it was unreal. I think if I had to choose a worst, it would be the depression. I felt like I would literally never be happy again unless I got high. And this is after only 2 months!

For me, there is always something missing. My most used expression is probably, "that's it??", which is clearly an inappropriate emotional response in a lot of cases........

I'm chronically unimpressed.

I am pretty certain I was born an addict, and I'm a pretty impressionable person so I should have never ever ever started using any kind of drug in the first place. But fuck it, too late now, hindsight is 20/20, blah blah blah.

Quiting is going to be a matter of WANTING to, extreme willpower, and keeping busy/distracted.

The biggest issue for me is when is it time to quit?? I see the negative effects, but I have solid justifications in place. Red flag. I worry about spiraling out, but I'm doing nothing to prevent it. Red flag! This is 100% my own decision................

As others above have said, this drug makes you feel like you have everything under control....... until you don't.

Oh, and another thing.... this acne can seriously fuck off. Two showers a day, and it's worse than a pubescent teenager with shit for hygiene.

Meth is *slowly* stealing my money, intelligence, family/friends, youth, health, and (if I even had any to begin with) beauty. What a fucking bitch of a drug.

I really needed to vent. I'm new here and am not yet allowed to blog. I can't talk to any of my real life friends about this, and my boyfriend just doesn't understand or just straight up doesn't wanna hear it. So, I kind of don't have anyone to talk to, and not anyone who would have anything constructive to say for sure. Thanks for letting me just fucking say it all, finally. I feel like I have to keep saying it just to remind myself what the reality is. Otherwise I wouldn't even notice at all.