T+0 = 110mg MDMA
T+0.5h = 30mg MDMA
T+1.5h = 15mg 2CB
T+2.5h = 18mg 2CB
___________________
57kg female
___________________
Okay so i feel i should write this for those people who like me were only planning to have fun and trip a little..
I tripped a tiny bit before on a tiny bit of acid...the first and only time i ever took acid.. it was fun i was laughing, things still made sense. i done salvia years ago and tripped balls.. but everything will be revealed in the next paragarph.
Moving on to what happened to me new years eve.. i was drinking beer all night, probably 8 pints.. i then took 110mg of mdma (as ya do). About half an hour later i took 30mg of md...i was feeling the usual effects. An hour later I then taught id try 2cb so i took a recommended amount my friend told me i should have due to my weight and other factors which was 15mg. He said i would have a nexus flip whatever that is ? after an hour i didn't really feel much so i asked for another. I was then given 18mg of 2cb and this is where it all begins.
I took this last one nearing the end of the night. We left the club it was freezing we were trying to flag a taxi for maybe 20 minutes. I was tripping alot now but still had my senses..
Eventually we got home to put on tunes and finish our night. Very shortly as we got home everything was going ''haywire''. There was lights flashing, christmas tinsle popping out of my friends head. The tripping was at high speed.. Things were moving very fast and getting too much. I told him I don't like this I want to come down off this...I knew i must have taken too much...I knew I didn't like this feeling. It was like the starting point of a whirl wind and was picking up speed each minute.
I never ever heard anything about ego death before... my friend had taken more than double than me that night..
But I suppose the beginning of the peak was i felt like there was tonnes of information coming down on top of me like a plane crash. Like a thousand people were talking to me at the one time but i couldn't hear any voices and i could not make any sense of what the information was because there was too much at once and it was at such high speed crashing down on top of me from above. It felt like any information there was, was dividing and then that was dividing and that was dividing it was never ending and it kept dividing.. but all the information was the same or linked to its starting source. I could see it branching off and branching off..But making no sense whatsoever. It was like i was been shown a glimpse of infinity.
The usual house music that we listen to was playing.. Each singular beat that is connected sounded like seperate beats even though they were in sync and were the same beat..Everything began not to make any sense. Absolutely nothing made sense. Everything that seemed to be so linked earlier became seperated and scrambled with no link and this I suppose was when i hit the peak and when i was my most frightened.
At this point I could see nothing was connected to anything anymore and nothing made sense..nothing! I didn't even no what a thing was anymore. I had lost all concept and understanding of everything. I remember being able to see my friend trying to tell me to relax i understood him..i remember seeing the room.. I was swaying back and forth with bursts of relief laughter here and there which would relieve me somehow from this terrible expierience for a few seconds. I think this happened because sense wasn't even making sense anymore so i was laughing. Swaying back and forth not knowing is it better to open my eyes or cover my eyes. I don't think it mattered. Because if nothing makes sense how can you care..I was very frightened at the same time.I was right now starting the ego death.. I realize now that i was seeing that if everything was linked to infinty how could it seperate but look the very same and make no sense.....
Only now as I am writing I am realizing I might have seen the very beginning of anything..And to contradict that it was like also seeing infinity. If souls are born there born here. I nearly feel i could have been looking at creation itself.
Now I am sitting there I am telling my friend. Who am I. I felt me, myself and I and my body were seperate things. I was confused and didn't no who was speaking. I could see the seperatness in myself and I didn't no who was speaking. Is it me myself or I. I looked at my knees i couldn't grasp any connection of my body to myself, me or I. I couldn't link these four parts together in any way and they were seperate things completely and it was very scary not knowing who or which part of me was speaking. I then said to my friend ''I feel like i should kill myself''. But not in a sad or scary way. ( I had no intention or plan to do so I was just trying to explain how i felt) i just felt like there was only one way to make sense of anything and that was to kill myself to find out who am I. or which part would die and which part would kill it. This must have been the ego death right here. i must have felt like i was dying or something. I don't know.
I started to get cold I moved and sat by the fire. Still messed up. I had somehow moved on from the hole who am thing(maybe because i taught i should kill myself and there my ego died). When I told my friend I should kill myself he said no! Why would you do that..I really don’t know what would have happened if he wasn’t there.:/
The final point for me after this was i seen just two things. I don't know what these things were because still nothing was making any sense and i have to now refer to all of these things as things. These two things seemed like the first or last two things that ever became or began or that ever were and ever will be and they were nearly identical. (seems again like creation and infinity) These two things seemed like either the first two things that ever connected in creation or the last two things that will ever connect in infinity. This was so scary. They were neither positive nor negative. Because I now realize positive and negative are in harmony..
Afterwards I was repeating to my friend “ I seen the deepest darkest hole.” I had no other way to explain it. I just kept saying that. I was telling him I feel like I have more empathy for people because I seen the deepest darkest hole of anything and everything. I seen what someone feels in their deepest darkest moments. So does creation = infinity. I think this is what these two might have been. The deepest darkest hole might be creation or infinity. Thats the only way to explain. I tried my hardest to connect these two things..so hard and i could not. This was very frightening. This was my last hardest push to try make sense of anything and if i could not connect these things nothing would make sense and nothing would matter and i did not.
If these were the only two things left as ive described. If these were identical, How can anything and everything that comes from it not be the exact same. My friend talked me down out of the trip from that moment and I could feel myself descending on three booms only way I can describe and things made sense again. And the trip was over.
CONCLUSION: I came down finally with this massive relief of feeling lucky to be alive. An appreciation of my life..I felt like nothing mattered anymore. Anxiety doesn't make sense, what people think doesn't make sense, fear.. I feel like because i couldn't connect these two things in the end. That it has shown me either they were already connected..And even if there weren't connected, what does it matter. These things were identical but individual. It showed me they were just being. And there should be no pushing no forcing. It showed me a big lesson of letting things be.
I see now after all of this with a few days to process everything that we are all one. Tress, houses, animals, food, materials, people we are all connected equally to eachother. So we are connected just as much to a blade of grass as we are to a person. I know now our world is perfect everything is beautiful and how it should be. If every one can just be..the world would become even more beautiful as i no we have war etc...I see everything as one now. I see there is no negative or positive they are perfectly in harmony together. If you have not had an ego death expierience or something of a similar nature i would find this almost impossible to understand. I know I may have hit a few debatable topics on the world being perfect. I have other concepts that i believe and understand. But i only want to talk about how this expierience has left me feeling.
Never ever let someone prescribe you psycadellics. You just don’t know how you will react. I am a very spiritual person already. And maybe I got what I asked for.
In ten minutes these were the first words i put to paper to describe my expierience. Ill share with you.
We are one.
I is me, me is I and myself is me. It is singular...It is us and us is singular.
Us is you but you are me and i am you. we are we and we are one.
Everything becomes seperate things...Every one thing seperates into more things.. but somehow is perfectly connected to the one.
We must be things like everything else is a thing...what is a thing?
We must be something so we must be a thing.
A thing is something that has identical things in it or connected to it, so wouldn't that then just become one thing.
There is no size there is no difference. there is no space between different things because everything is the same. Everything is connected but seperated at the same time with its own freedom and choice individually to live and stand how it wants.
I see now the harmony the perfect order...the natural law. The only law. I see the beauty...unaffected by thoughts...there is no pushing, there is no forcing, there is no searching. there is only being.
We are beautiful, we are perfect.
WE ARE ONE.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_2cb
substancecode_phenethylamines
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
T+0.5h = 30mg MDMA
T+1.5h = 15mg 2CB
T+2.5h = 18mg 2CB
___________________
57kg female
___________________
Okay so i feel i should write this for those people who like me were only planning to have fun and trip a little..
I tripped a tiny bit before on a tiny bit of acid...the first and only time i ever took acid.. it was fun i was laughing, things still made sense. i done salvia years ago and tripped balls.. but everything will be revealed in the next paragarph.
Moving on to what happened to me new years eve.. i was drinking beer all night, probably 8 pints.. i then took 110mg of mdma (as ya do). About half an hour later i took 30mg of md...i was feeling the usual effects. An hour later I then taught id try 2cb so i took a recommended amount my friend told me i should have due to my weight and other factors which was 15mg. He said i would have a nexus flip whatever that is ? after an hour i didn't really feel much so i asked for another. I was then given 18mg of 2cb and this is where it all begins.
I took this last one nearing the end of the night. We left the club it was freezing we were trying to flag a taxi for maybe 20 minutes. I was tripping alot now but still had my senses..
Eventually we got home to put on tunes and finish our night. Very shortly as we got home everything was going ''haywire''. There was lights flashing, christmas tinsle popping out of my friends head. The tripping was at high speed.. Things were moving very fast and getting too much. I told him I don't like this I want to come down off this...I knew i must have taken too much...I knew I didn't like this feeling. It was like the starting point of a whirl wind and was picking up speed each minute.
I never ever heard anything about ego death before... my friend had taken more than double than me that night..
But I suppose the beginning of the peak was i felt like there was tonnes of information coming down on top of me like a plane crash. Like a thousand people were talking to me at the one time but i couldn't hear any voices and i could not make any sense of what the information was because there was too much at once and it was at such high speed crashing down on top of me from above. It felt like any information there was, was dividing and then that was dividing and that was dividing it was never ending and it kept dividing.. but all the information was the same or linked to its starting source. I could see it branching off and branching off..But making no sense whatsoever. It was like i was been shown a glimpse of infinity.
The usual house music that we listen to was playing.. Each singular beat that is connected sounded like seperate beats even though they were in sync and were the same beat..Everything began not to make any sense. Absolutely nothing made sense. Everything that seemed to be so linked earlier became seperated and scrambled with no link and this I suppose was when i hit the peak and when i was my most frightened.
At this point I could see nothing was connected to anything anymore and nothing made sense..nothing! I didn't even no what a thing was anymore. I had lost all concept and understanding of everything. I remember being able to see my friend trying to tell me to relax i understood him..i remember seeing the room.. I was swaying back and forth with bursts of relief laughter here and there which would relieve me somehow from this terrible expierience for a few seconds. I think this happened because sense wasn't even making sense anymore so i was laughing. Swaying back and forth not knowing is it better to open my eyes or cover my eyes. I don't think it mattered. Because if nothing makes sense how can you care..I was very frightened at the same time.I was right now starting the ego death.. I realize now that i was seeing that if everything was linked to infinty how could it seperate but look the very same and make no sense.....
Only now as I am writing I am realizing I might have seen the very beginning of anything..And to contradict that it was like also seeing infinity. If souls are born there born here. I nearly feel i could have been looking at creation itself.
Now I am sitting there I am telling my friend. Who am I. I felt me, myself and I and my body were seperate things. I was confused and didn't no who was speaking. I could see the seperatness in myself and I didn't no who was speaking. Is it me myself or I. I looked at my knees i couldn't grasp any connection of my body to myself, me or I. I couldn't link these four parts together in any way and they were seperate things completely and it was very scary not knowing who or which part of me was speaking. I then said to my friend ''I feel like i should kill myself''. But not in a sad or scary way. ( I had no intention or plan to do so I was just trying to explain how i felt) i just felt like there was only one way to make sense of anything and that was to kill myself to find out who am I. or which part would die and which part would kill it. This must have been the ego death right here. i must have felt like i was dying or something. I don't know.
I started to get cold I moved and sat by the fire. Still messed up. I had somehow moved on from the hole who am thing(maybe because i taught i should kill myself and there my ego died). When I told my friend I should kill myself he said no! Why would you do that..I really don’t know what would have happened if he wasn’t there.:/
The final point for me after this was i seen just two things. I don't know what these things were because still nothing was making any sense and i have to now refer to all of these things as things. These two things seemed like the first or last two things that ever became or began or that ever were and ever will be and they were nearly identical. (seems again like creation and infinity) These two things seemed like either the first two things that ever connected in creation or the last two things that will ever connect in infinity. This was so scary. They were neither positive nor negative. Because I now realize positive and negative are in harmony..
Afterwards I was repeating to my friend “ I seen the deepest darkest hole.” I had no other way to explain it. I just kept saying that. I was telling him I feel like I have more empathy for people because I seen the deepest darkest hole of anything and everything. I seen what someone feels in their deepest darkest moments. So does creation = infinity. I think this is what these two might have been. The deepest darkest hole might be creation or infinity. Thats the only way to explain. I tried my hardest to connect these two things..so hard and i could not. This was very frightening. This was my last hardest push to try make sense of anything and if i could not connect these things nothing would make sense and nothing would matter and i did not.
If these were the only two things left as ive described. If these were identical, How can anything and everything that comes from it not be the exact same. My friend talked me down out of the trip from that moment and I could feel myself descending on three booms only way I can describe and things made sense again. And the trip was over.
CONCLUSION: I came down finally with this massive relief of feeling lucky to be alive. An appreciation of my life..I felt like nothing mattered anymore. Anxiety doesn't make sense, what people think doesn't make sense, fear.. I feel like because i couldn't connect these two things in the end. That it has shown me either they were already connected..And even if there weren't connected, what does it matter. These things were identical but individual. It showed me they were just being. And there should be no pushing no forcing. It showed me a big lesson of letting things be.
I see now after all of this with a few days to process everything that we are all one. Tress, houses, animals, food, materials, people we are all connected equally to eachother. So we are connected just as much to a blade of grass as we are to a person. I know now our world is perfect everything is beautiful and how it should be. If every one can just be..the world would become even more beautiful as i no we have war etc...I see everything as one now. I see there is no negative or positive they are perfectly in harmony together. If you have not had an ego death expierience or something of a similar nature i would find this almost impossible to understand. I know I may have hit a few debatable topics on the world being perfect. I have other concepts that i believe and understand. But i only want to talk about how this expierience has left me feeling.
Never ever let someone prescribe you psycadellics. You just don’t know how you will react. I am a very spiritual person already. And maybe I got what I asked for.
In ten minutes these were the first words i put to paper to describe my expierience. Ill share with you.
We are one.
I is me, me is I and myself is me. It is singular...It is us and us is singular.
Us is you but you are me and i am you. we are we and we are one.
Everything becomes seperate things...Every one thing seperates into more things.. but somehow is perfectly connected to the one.
We must be things like everything else is a thing...what is a thing?
We must be something so we must be a thing.
A thing is something that has identical things in it or connected to it, so wouldn't that then just become one thing.
There is no size there is no difference. there is no space between different things because everything is the same. Everything is connected but seperated at the same time with its own freedom and choice individually to live and stand how it wants.
I see now the harmony the perfect order...the natural law. The only law. I see the beauty...unaffected by thoughts...there is no pushing, there is no forcing, there is no searching. there is only being.
We are beautiful, we are perfect.
WE ARE ONE.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_2cb
substancecode_phenethylamines
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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And that does sound like a pretty extreme reaction for 33 mg of 2C-B... but these things do happen. I wouldn't be surprised if taking the MDMA first played some role as well, as for some people, myself included, that can get pretty delusional and even hallucinogenic in its own right when pushed far enough. Combine that with a high enough dose of a new psychedelic and you're in for a ride.... Glad it turned out alright for you and that you were able to get something out of it!