Recovery My journey starts today (hydromorphone)

[Sixxam]

10years,

I have heard of that . I'm still feeling shitty from about 3am on. Hourly when my dose gets a little higher it will resolve. Did you have to wait until you earned take home doses to split your dose, or were you granted immediate take homes because of your condition?

The clinic I'm at requires 8 weeks of clean UA before you can start earning take home doses. But unfortunately because I'm dependant on benzos without a script, I won't have clean UA for a while.

I'm currently dependant on .05mg clonazepam and I plan to do a very slow taper. 6 months to a year. Because I have seizure activity I don't want to rush it.

So as long as my tests are dirty I will be required to visit the clinic twice a week until I'm on a stable dose then once a week there after.

I read a lot of horror stories about clinics and I have to say I have had an excellent experience. They schedule appointments so the place is basically empty. No waiting at all and I'm in and out in about two minutes.

 

[Stargazer]

Yes we had to earn take homes. My ua's we're always clean. And I had an RX for Fiorinal (I have chronic cluster headaches).

I would be waiting outside the clinic everyday at 4am being that I had been sick since 4pm the day before.

I'd go in.w sweat dripping off of my face, completely a mess every day. I talked to my counselor about it as the RNs pretended not to notice the sweat riveting off my jaw.

Eventually the Dr that ran the clinic requested a meeting w me. He asked, "What are you doing here?" I explained I had chronic pain and was abusing my oxys. I took 5 a day instead of 4. Imagine that's what led me to IV h.

Anyway, he referred me to a Dr that wrote methadone tablets. Not sure why I just told you all that lol.

I stabilized at 95mg of methadone but eventually went up to 120mg. The clinic gives you structure and helps keep you in line.

A word of advice: don't drink all your take homes in one day. I never did but others did and they ended up sick waiting for Monday.

I think methadone is a great thing. I've seen many lives changed and get back on track. Love ya Sixx. Keep.at it. It will fall into place.

 

[Stargazer]

Ps- I'm no saint- dope was hard to get in Florida - where I was living at that time- and was really broke.

 

[Sixxam]

Thanks for sharing 10years..

That sounds freaking awful... Being that far in withdrawal every day. Yikes! Are you still currently on methadone?

Other then feeling a bit tired a couple hours after dosing, and feeling rough in the mornings.. I'm really happy with it so far.

 

[Stargazer]

It was really awful. And that s s gross understatement.

Obviously I couldn't sleep. I'd either pace all night or ride a bike for hours arund the neighborhood.

I'm no longer on methadone. I've been off of it a long time. I'm taking subs now.

Glad it's working well for you. You'll find your dose. Some people were able to skip a day after stabilized. I was never one of them lol.

I'm so happy your depression is lifting. Be well Sixx

 

[P0kemama]

Hi Six and Ten,
It is so comforting to reconnect with you guys, and to read we are all still fighting the good fight. It is uplifting to read you are feeling so much less depression, Six... and that your clinic experience is a positive one. Hoping that you are able to get to a methadone dosage that holds you til the next one.
Sorry to read your metabolism messed you up, 10 Years.
How are the subs holding you?

 

[Stargazer]

Hey mama. Good to see you.

Subs hold me well, thanks for asking! I am determined to get this right. I'm so thankful and grateful that I finally found a sub Dr and called. I started subs in April. Over and over I've said "thank God for subs".

How are you mama? I hope well.

 

[P0kemama]

I am well, now. I did have to undergo major surgery almost a month ago. At first, I was worried about my addiction, as pain pills would be needed afterwards. However, I got 5mg hydrocodone and I got about 10 of them. Needless to say, I did not abuse them... I stretched them out as far as I could because the pain was bad. (However, I realize as an opiate addict I do not like pain, physical or emotional, so of course it would be bad.) Therefore "According to the laws of NA, I did not lose my clean time" (I say that sarcastically, because it is about harm reduction, it is not a competition).
So, I am coming up on 18 months clean in August.

 

[Stargazer]

Amazing on your upcoming 18mos. Well done. And even more so - on handling your pain meds responsibly so soon after quitting! I really mean it. That takes grit.

It would've been quite easy to go crazy w them or to re-start them and let years go by, etc. But you chose to stay on your path. I really respect and admire that.

Glad to hear you are feeling and doing well. ??

 

[D_K1984]

Tons of respect on not going wild with the hydros and not letting them take you back down that path. I wish I was as strong as you. I had just a prescription of tramadol, weak compared to what I normally use, but I went ham on them because I just can be trusted with any opiates. So great job on that.

You're story is inspiring to people on the forums. Even those who don't post or don't post often. We still see it and appreciate you sharing your experience.