LSD - Third Time - Bad LSD trip haunting me. Someone please help me.

[anxietyfreak12]

The trip takes place about 8 months ago, I was 18 and a freshman in college. This was my third time taking acid and I had done shrooms previous to this a few times. Anyways, two of my friends and I decided to buy acid and take it in the same day. It was a very quick decision but I was ready to have a fun trip.

My buddies and I took one tab each and waited. As we started to see the carpet slowly waving and breathing we knew the trip had begun. As the trip got more intense, it was like nothing I had seen before. I could look at the wall and it seemed there was wet paint dripping down the wall. While trying to have conversations with people, which was nearly impossible, I could see numbers and letters moving through the air. I always thought the coolest thing about tripping was that you can communicate with your friends who are tripping without even saying a world. I was having a great trip, but once the visuals slowly started fading and the euphoric feeling had disappeared, my buddy suggested we smoke some bud.

This is where the trip got very bad. Although I had thought it was over, smoking had made me start tripping harder than before. Instead of everything moving together and mellow colors, I started to see flashing colors of red and purple with visuals that seemed angry. As I returned to the spot where we tool the lsd, I looked at myself in the mirror and for some reason my adams apple looked very weird. I started to feel that strong wave of anxiety and fear strike my chest. I tried to calm down and went to sit with my friends. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to scare them, but as the minutes went by I entered the worst hours of my life.

As I sat on the couch, I couldn't stop thinking about my adams apple. I started thinking my esophagus was coming out of my mouth and I couldn't snap out of it. I had found myself trapped, thinking that I was dying and that my esophagus was actually starting to come out of my mouth. I still hadn't told anyone, but I got up and went to my room to sit on my bed. One of my buddies came in and saw my playing with my throat. I was convinced that the sound of my voice changed when I would push my throat one way or the other. He suggested we go for a walk because he could see I was having a bad trip.

While walking, I couldn't stop thinking about how I was dying. I didn't realize it at the time but I kept trying to feel the back of my throat with my tongue, making it unable to breath. I found myself nearly passing out non stop. After this, my tongue felt like it was sucking down my throat and if I didn't bite down with my tongue sticking out a little bit, I would keep choking. The feeling in my throat remained for 5 hours, plus the 5 hours of tripping before that.

Now that you know the story, I hope you can help me because despite being 8 months passed this incident, it has fucked my life up. I say this because to start I was suicidal for a week after the bad trip, thinking I had already died. Mainly, the problem was and still is the feeling in my throat. I have this constant feeling that there is a lump in my throat and I'm choking. This has led to several panic attacks where I can't talk and I think about the bad trip. I used to smoke bud every day and now I do maybe once a month. Even when I do smoke bud, my throat bothers me and thats all I think about. I had my tonsils removed cause I thought that was the problem, but it wasn't. Now I am on antidepressants and anxiety medication and my throat is still bothering me!!!

Somebody please help me. I have looked up a bunch of stuff but it could be anything. How can I fix my throat?

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_negative
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
roacode_sublingual

 

[pupnik]

there is nothing wrong with your throat or your mind, but you have a habit to weed from your routines.

yes the adam's apple is a sensitive area that can become the focal chakkra for an entire trip, for a lifetime even.

you can use yoga and meditation to make your sensations in that region trigger relaxation and body mind integration.


the neck joins the head to the body: symbolically this speaks to the fact that you think your mind is out of balance with your body. This can be intensified with sexual frustration, and shame about not being connected well in the physical world.

to reconnect, just do what you normally do but try to sense more fully what you touch with the skin that touches, try to sense the contact with the ground under your feet as you walk, and try to sense more fully the air that streams in and out your nose. You have to relax into that or it does not open up.

All parts of the body can become sensitive like the adams apple: intensity and immediacy of feeling in the moment is not pain, it can be marvelous, and working through this issue as a relaxation and sensation exercise spread through the body, will turn the whole thing around for you.

 

[pupnik]

Also, something about the voicebox being blocked and your voice not being heard, or being neglected, never mind, you can use this to positive advantage, you can relax your whole being from that center that is claiming your attention.
Immerse your mind in the sensation while relaxing, and do not contort any thing or react except to deepen the relaxation.

this can re-balance the mind model of body with the live sensation of body and life. Model is not more true than sensation, but we tend to favor model and working on problems just as models not allowing life to be sensed.

even better for you than yoga would be KUNG FU.

 

[anxietyfreak12]

Thank you so much pupnik, finally someone who understands my problem. I feel like I am watching myself go through the motions of life while my true self is trapped in my head. Is there any type of mentality to keep throughout the day. For example, for the past two weeks I have had these awful nightmares. I tell myself over and over again that I am not scared and that I can beat the fear. No matter how many times I tell myself this, I still have night terrors and wake up traumatized.

 

[pupnik]

ok anxietyfreak12, everybody has fear and trauma, and the motions of life.
really do try kung fu

 

[pofacedhoe]

first of all people learn- weed and trips doesn't always go well. the tendency for it to ruin a trip varies but it has for me many times.

second- OP you just looked at your neck created an idea about it and that became associated with your sense of panic. lsd and weed does cause crazy thought loops that go round in a circle enhancing the neural pathway of that train of thought. the repetition burns it into your thoughts but it can be undone the same way it got put there.

you could try cognitive behavioural therapy? i honestly think that you have an anxiety disorder, you smoked weed everyday before this trip which isn't ideal with anxiety. plus it was the weed on the trip that triggered this.

could you just secretly have come up with an exaggerated version with its own psychosomatic feelings of the classic "smoking kills" type thought. we all know smoking is bad for you.

this was just a super strong trip that went west when you had weed. which created a panic attack while tripping that now keeps coming back every so often.

its illogical to think your throat will close up.

try meditation and excercise.

panic attacks are horrible thats for sure having had them previously.

do you drink caffeine? do you smoke tobacco?

if so try getting rid of those behavioural patterns as they for me made my anxiety 1000% worse (menthol cigarettes after being awake for 48 hours caused a panic attack for me).

what is your diet? try eating fish with omega 3 and getting a source of B vitamins in your diet (i have b-complex vitamins- great for anxiety). if you are eating junk like maccy'ds stop it.

so much of mental health is excercise, nutrition, avoiding junk and nasty cheap stimulants


the problem is not your throat- its you, its in your mind. so that's what you need to alter the input of and then this issue will become more solvable. getting your tonsils out to fix this is like getting a boob job to fix low self esteem.

you need a way to alter your own perception of your own perceptions. to change the way you look at the information your body sends your brain. to alter the thoughts you have when you get that throat sensation.

tell yourself that logically this is just a feeling, that you can breathe , that you are safe and try breathing slowly. you are pretty much describing a standard panic attack (they are very horrid). the way to stop them developing is to slow your breathing, take some time out to calm yourself


simply stop and breathe slowly


also you are pretty young- that is the worst time for mental health problems to begin to balloon, just take things one day at a time. over time when you are older more real life shit hits the fan and for whatever reason you just start to care less. its brain chemistry. being young feel excitable/nervous. being older feels calmer and duller

 

[DiacetylEros]

As pofacedhoe pointed out breathing is integral for panic attack and anxiety relief. I have PTSD, severe anxiety, and panic disorder and what I found works for me other than benzodiazepines which I do not suggest you take, is yoga. Yoga teaches your body to essentially allow your body to reroute its bioelectric energy through breathing and movement comma as well as flexibility. The exercises are designed along with breathing and stretching during each movement to optimize your energy. Yogic practitioners call Prana Kama which Loosely means life force. I can attest personally that after a good yoga session you're my breath was in synchronization with the stretching Kama that I can feel the Prana circulate through my system. Remember our bodies are essentially biomachines, if that makes any sense - we run off electricity - especially our brains and CBS.

I assume cos you're on medication that you see a psychiatrist, you should speak to the psychiatrist about the possibility of you having PTSD or OCD, as you seem to be obsessed with something that isn't going to happen, and is a facet fallacy that your brain produces. So you feel compelled to feel anxiety. That's basically a model for OCD. And it was obviously a traumatic experience, and you're still going through that trauma that's why I think you possibly have PTSD.

Speaking to a psychologist would be even better as they can diagnose these issues and you have more time in general to speak with a psychologist as they don't just diagnosed and Dole out meds and say good luck like a psychiatrist. Personally, I think that drugs are unnecessary as they have many side effects and many people do not get the relief that they need - and you don't seem to be getting that really, considering you're still feeling the way you felt 8 months later. Just some things to think about, but if you haven't given yoga a chance - I would say really need you to give it a shot. It can't hurt even if it doesn't help.

Lastly, when having a panic attack try this simple breathing technique- inhale for a 4 counting (doesn't have to be in seconds) and exhale for a 6 count. Usually gets me out of a panic a lot faster then if I didn't utilize this breathing technique.

If your really concerned see a doctor who specializes in the throat to trul6 see if anything's wrong - as a negative diagnosis I think would really help put your mind to rest. But I highly doubt there is and I believe it's all in your head, as you would have noticed before you tripped most likely - but I'd stay away from hallucinogens because every trip you're going to have from now on is going to be a bad one.

I know this because I have one extremely bad trip and I had taken acid again and it was twice as bad as the first bad trip. The only hallucinogenic drugs of any kind I can handle and enjoy are drugs like Ketamine or 3-MeO-PCP and the like - dissociative hallucinogens as their anaesthetic nature helps prevent "the fear' as well as lack of stimulant properties along with short duration. But I'm not suggesting you take those either, in fact i think you should avoid anything even mildly psychedelic(weed included if you don't smoke often), I'm just relaying what works for me and doesn't give me the fear.

You'll be alright - just for your own sake stop ruminating so much. I truly hope you find relief from this problem you're having, because it does sound terrific and horrifying. Best of luck and I hope this information was helpful in some way .

 

[TripMcnealy]

Weed could be the hidden culprit here. I've had severe flashbacks from a night of hell from, yes WEED alone, for years. Derealization, depersonalization, full blown GAD, and some fucked up thoughts on life and if I was actually real. Definitely see if any of this strikes a chord for you. Weed is well known to cause Depersonalization for long periods of time.

 

[Cdkman]

One thing I've learned is looking At myself in the mirror while tripping hard will trigger panic for some reason..it's like it takes the trip in a different direction..it's the only time that I panic when I look in the mirror..one of my ego death e periences I was yelling at the mirror in jibberish trying to say "who am I!"

 

[TripMcnealy]

Lol I know exactly what you mean. Used to get so fucking anxious seeing myself in a mirror when high for some reason.

 

[jackie jones]

I have been diagnosed with Panic Disorder a number of times. There are things that I do to keep them at bay. I put no stimulants in my system - even caffeine. I do not use cannabis. It triggers a panic attack every time. Psychedelics do not cause mental illnesses, yet they can trigger illnesses that have yet to present themselves. I would hate to see this deter you from using psychedelics ever again, however. They have done so much for me emotionally over the years. That is your call, of course. If you do decide to trip again, try using small, gradual doses over the course of your trip. Such an experience may help you to connect with the one you are reliving and realize that everything is going the way it needs to and you are going to be okay.

 

[d1nach]

I took bad LSD just one and it was some research chemical and almost died and had the most intense hallucinations like the world melting and like the entire world glitching and time freezing and seeing the world flat like millions of times over and over and all these barrier things I can't even explain. And everyone and a while ESP if I am cleaning the bathroom and I find myself in the position when I nearly died I start getting flash backs and I start feeling like I'm dying and like the walls are warping. I do deep breathing and listen to Paramore the only exception (something about her voice soothes me I cant even describe the fear when I have a flash back so I don't even care if I look like a total pussy listening to Paramore over and over) and I wrap myself in a blanket or wear a jacket the tactile sensation helps with the fear and eventually it passes

 

[Stargazer]

That is such scary shit. I go through the things that have been described from weed - Ive done acid and one time thought I was a leopard and was licking my "paws". Jesus H christ I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks and when you're having an intense panic attack its horrrifying. I can't feel my extremities- I try to listen to music, look at art- I shake so badly I can barely walk. And omg when they happen when Im in the car-omg. I am on Neurontin and it helps tremendously for anxiety and panic. It is scary going through this but you have gotten some great advice. All the best to you.

 

[Xorkoth]

Ive done acid and one time thought I was a leopard and was licking my "paws". Jesus H christ

Did that make you feel anxiety? Just asking because that sounds like a cool experience to me. Sorry you have to deal with an anxiety disorder.