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December Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Hello Holidaze

But of course :)

Yeah, it's cooled down quite a bit. I was just in Boston for a death in the family. What a crazy fucking week. Didn't feel like I got to enjoy one of my all time favorite cities one bit, but I did sample some super tasty mead =D

I think I'm done with that side of the family until my cousin's wedding in the summer. So wonderful to connect with family and friends, but it I ever wondered where my neurotic tendencies come from there is no longer any doubt in my mind whatsoever.

I miss the cold there though. We have it easy in Socal.
 
^ I also miss the cold, it makes me feel so peaceful.

This month makes me think about how hard it is for some of us struggling to be off meds/drugs and others trying to keep moving.

Wish you all a great December and lots of willpower to us all.

2 years off of my demons! Right around the corner, so to speak.
 
December rolling around marked a milestone that I'd really been looking forward to. For the first time in over four years, I went through a calendar month (November) without using dope. I had gotten 30 days of abstinence a few times, but they always straddled months. I know this is an arbitrary marker. But it had been really dispiriting that I could never get through a month without using. So it feels like a nice win. Also, yesterday was six weeks altogether. Feeling pretty good.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the first snow of the year where I live. I'm super psyched. I love the cold and snow. I was born and raised in CA (Bay Area) and lived for a long time in SoCal, so I still find winter exotic.

Congrats, and good luck to you all!
Sim
 
hell yeah simco! a day without using any mind altering chemicals is always a happy day!

I'm dealing with something, I got the chance to help a homeless woman the other night, she was in pretty rough shape, wearing flipflops with no socks (in the 30s here), I helped her. I gave her 2x pairs of socks, a blanket, long sleeved shirt, gloves, and a hand warmer. then one of the guys that stays at the same recovery place as me comes up to me and was like 'you know that she comes in here once a week or so asking for shit', and i'm like 'no, i did not', and the guy had the nerve to say that I was being her bitch by running back and forth gathering those things for her. If I were in the madness I would have got high over it, I was able to tell the jerk that it wasn't her I was helping, it was me. The guy looked at me like I just said some profound shit about life, and he just said 'well okay then, i'm glad your okay', I was able to walk away from him and really glad I did, because I was able to put the thought into his mind that helping others isn't for the other person.

Anyways, now thats out. I've been busy working on my sex inventory (4th step), and my sponsor has me doing it a lot differently then the place i'm at wants. the people at 'the hab' i'll call it. have me doing it some type of way, and my sponsor wants me to get to the gritty shit, like instead of drawing a couple columns, he has me damn near writing a page front and back about the relationship. Which is good because I'm really seeing my part, and who all I hurt while in the relationship(even tho alot of those relationships were 1night stands). My 4th step is over 30 pages, and I'm not even done yet. I still have Social & Security next, and character defects after that.

Today, I am grateful that I am able to help others, and not want anything in return.
 
Kudos D's! It sounds like you are making great progress!!!
 
hell yeah simco! a day without using any mind altering chemicals is always a happy day!

I'm dealing with something, I got the chance to help a homeless woman the other night, she was in pretty rough shape, wearing flipflops with no socks (in the 30s here), I helped her. I gave her 2x pairs of socks, a blanket, long sleeved shirt, gloves, and a hand warmer. then one of the guys that stays at the same recovery place as me comes up to me and was like 'you know that she comes in here once a week or so asking for shit', and i'm like 'no, i did not', and the guy had the nerve to say that I was being her bitch by running back and forth gathering those things for her. If I were in the madness I would have got high over it, I was able to tell the jerk that it wasn't her I was helping, it was me. The guy looked at me like I just said some profound shit about life, and he just said 'well okay then, i'm glad your okay', I was able to walk away from him and really glad I did, because I was able to put the thought into his mind that helping others isn't for the other person.

Anyways, now thats out. I've been busy working on my sex inventory (4th step), and my sponsor has me doing it a lot differently then the place i'm at wants. the people at 'the hab' i'll call it. have me doing it some type of way, and my sponsor wants me to get to the gritty shit, like instead of drawing a couple columns, he has me damn near writing a page front and back about the relationship. Which is good because I'm really seeing my part, and who all I hurt while in the relationship(even tho alot of those relationships were 1night stands). My 4th step is over 30 pages, and I'm not even done yet. I still have Social & Security next, and character defects after that.

Today, I am grateful that I am able to help others, and not want anything in return.

While I think you handles that situation marvolously, have you ever heard of something called the White Man's Burden? It is about the problematic nature of "helping" others. I think what you did was commendable, helping yourself by lending another your own helping hand.

The so called "selfish" nature of how many seem to work their twelve step problem always bothered me. On the one hand, I totally see the value of it, in how benefitial it is for one's own development to behave in ethical ways. That said, framing behaving ethically as selfish - that is to say, "I'm only doing it for myself" - is a rather egotistical, small minded ethic.

I like looking at mature adult relationships, whether with a loved one or a stranger (in your case a stranger), as based upon a certain standard shared by two people: two people working together, each supporting the other in their times of need, each depending upon the other in their times of need.

What I am saying is that, while I don't think you helping that stranger was bad or wrong in any way, I do think it as part of a code of ethics is problematic. The relationship isn't a two way street. It can easily turn into something more paternalistic, demeaning. While to you it may be helpful, a kind of lesson in modeling a healthier way to relate to your peers and fellow human beings, it may be little more than an act of pity for the other person receiving your help.

I'm not telling you to do anything different, just to perhaps reflect on the limitation of that kind of model for your more personal and more intimate relationships. Healthy, adult relationships are not paternalistic, they are a two way street - two people depending upon and supporting one another.
 
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Another day down. Got a lot of work done, felt really good about how productive I'm being. :)
 
I have been off Oxy since Monday 7 PM. The physical withdrawal wasn't too bad seeing as I withdrew once already just 2 weeks prior but the fatigue and depression has kept me down this weekend. But I am very happy and proud to have made it this far. I hope I can stay sober for very long now. If I make December that would be my first entierly sober month in over a year.

What a christmas that would be.

And I know it's only a matter of time before I become energetic and naturally happy, but it feels like an eternity right now!

Best luck, wishes, to everyone who attempts living sober. To me it is the only way to live :).
 
hell yeah simco! a day without using any mind altering chemicals is always a happy day!

I'm dealing with something, I got the chance to help a homeless woman the other night, she was in pretty rough shape, wearing flipflops with no socks (in the 30s here), I helped her. I gave her 2x pairs of socks, a blanket, long sleeved shirt, gloves, and a hand warmer. then one of the guys that stays at the same recovery place as me comes up to me and was like 'you know that she comes in here once a week or so asking for shit', and i'm like 'no, i did not', and the guy had the nerve to say that I was being her bitch by running back and forth gathering those things for her. If I were in the madness I would have got high over it, I was able to tell the jerk that it wasn't her I was helping, it was me. The guy looked at me like I just said some profound shit about life, and he just said 'well okay then, i'm glad your okay', I was able to walk away from him and really glad I did, because I was able to put the thought into his mind that helping others isn't for the other person.

lmao
 
Glad to see everyone is hanging in there!!

My bf is 5 full days cold turkey off the fentanyl now. Still feeling weak, but his appetite is returning, he still has the sneezing attacks. Music is his new best friend. Instantly lightens his mood.

Have a great start to the new week and new month.
 
Now it's exactly one week since my last dose of OxyContin. Im no longer sick but I was so worn out today. After being in school 2 hours I went home feeling so tired and completely drained it certainly made me question wether living sober was at all possible and if so if it was at all worth living if you're either going to be a using addict or struggling addict.

And then I slept some hours waking up feeling even more drained?

But now I'm starting to feel good plus I'm sickly hungry for cheese and maybe tomato like a pizza or something. Im going to saturate the hunger lol.

Can any recovered opiate addict tell me about fatigue / lethargy when going off opiates? Is it normal to feel like a walking mummy?

And congratulations to everyone even browsing this forum :) I started to follow some of the threads here and regularly check in on how they're doing.

congrats on your 5 days man :)

Thank you!
 
V from what I'm witnessing first hand with John, he gets fatigued very easily also. Mornings and nights are by far the worse, but it happens during the day too. He looked for some fishing poles, had to sit down and that aggravated him. We got some liquid b12 drops.
 
V from what I'm witnessing first hand with John, he gets fatigued very easily also. Mornings and nights are by far the worse, but it happens during the day too. He looked for some fishing poles, had to sit down and that aggravated him. We got some liquid b12 drops.

Iv been following John's progress and well done to him, it sounds like he's been through the worst of the physical WD's, bless him, keep a close eye on him now as its going to be a mental thing for him now, good luck my sweet
 
so I've collected a total of 12 key tags (NA,CA & HA) and 4 AA chips.
I think I'm doing good. :)
 
Ds that great!! Each milestone accomplished is kay another reminder that you got your life back and are in control of you're destiny, rather than the addiction being in control. Great work.

Zara, ty so much. It's comforting to know people are listening?
I do see some of the mental effects, I think yesterday was a dangerous day..had he not been with me, I fear how that day would have gone. At one point he commented about a 'magical pill' that would make his aches stop and give him energy. I have the gentle reminder that is not a magic pill, it's evil poison that led you hear to begin with. He agreed. But he was definitely itching yesterday. I took him to the pier when I sensed his agitation at home. Later we had a late lunch early dinner on the water. Music seems to help alot. Then around 11pm (even though I had to work and get up at 5:30 a.m.) I took him on a drive with the radio playing, we cruised several beach strips and drove an hour south before turning around and heading back. I think that drive was imperative at the moment.
 
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