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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

HELP! Advice on large amount of VALIUM/DIAZIPAM withdrawal!

S

sindy121

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 26, 2010
Messages
30
Hi

Please HELP me with LARGE amount of Valium/ Diazepam withdrawal!!!!!

Sorry for the long post, any advice or help is much appreciated. If you can help but don't have time to read the background I've written below please scroll down to the main question in capitals. Thank you!

I know there is lots of information on here all all over the net but really lots of contradicting advice, can someone please help.

I am 33 and have been taking large amounts (up to 200mg) a day/night at its peak for around.

It started about 5 years ago when I used to do quite a bit of the white stuff. I hated the come down/craving for years till a friend of mine told me to take a Valium, so like an idiot I took it and within 20 minutes I felt normal and could sleep after doing the other thing.

As a year went on my tollerance obviously built up 1 a night became 2 a night 3,4.... In the end I was taking around 20 10mgs just to get to sleep. This was a bad depressing time and I tried the NHS route which was to drop 2mg every 2-4 weeks. That didn't work, I wasn't motivated and the thought of having to do that for years meant I just tried myself. Biggest mistake ever.

Anyway 4 years later I have stopped the white stuff which was the reason I started taking them in the first place (I know how dangerous it is mixing those two together especially with such a high amount of Valium, I can't believe it looking back. I was in a very dark place where no one knew the secret life I was living. I was working and still am full time.

So about two months ago I finally told my mum (about just the Valium problem) she said she will pay for rehab or whatever it takes to get me off these but can only afford a month which is a lot of money! For her/me.

Over the years as my tollerance was so high I only managed to cut it down to 14 x10mg (140mg) taking all at night.

Since telling my mum and being really motivated to kick this I have managed to cut down to 95mg per night. By dropping between 5-10 mg every week at the weekend.

I am booked into rehab for a month starting 3/1/2017 (that's all my mum can afford as its a lot of money) after speaking to them and other treatment centres quite a few said the hardest part is the last 30-40mg.

I told them Them I am on 95mg and they THINK if I can get it down to 60-70mg in the 6 weeks between now and then, they can get me off them completely.

I am a bit unsure how they can claim this as they have never met me, all they know is what I've said above. But even if they can reduce it to the smallest amount possible and I am still on them when I come out at the end of Jan it's my best hope.

THE MAIN QUESTION

I've been on these for about 5 years. I have cut down myself to 95mg a night to be able to just about function properly at work etc along with the nasty withdrawal symptoms.

I have 6 weeks to cut as much as I can before I go into rehab for a month. I have managed to cut around 50mg in about two months by tapering between 5-10 mg every weekend as I am so focused and determined to get off these. I know everyone reacts differently to tapering/withdrawal.

Am I ok to keep cutting such large amounts every week to reach my goal of being on 60-70mg from 95mg (now) in 6 weeks before I go into rehab for a month and hopefully get myself clean?

Or am I rushing this two fast which will at some point hit me bad?

I tried cold turkey for a week once about 4 years ago when I was on about 60mg (yes I know it's very dangerous and I wish I never bothered as it was pure hell so I have been through and know the really really bad effects of withdrawal)

Any advice is much appreciated... Thank you in advance and sorry for the long post!

Regards
 
IMO its an unnecessary risk given how long you have been on diazepam and given that youve used potent stimulants. I just dont think your brain will take too kindly with rapid reductions and I dont think rehab can circumvent your biochemistry and make your taper schedule be faster without risking neurotoxic effects. I would think 2 mg a week at the fastest. You may be able to do more but why risk it when the consequence could be irreversible brain damage from a violent seizure?
 
I was in exactly the same boat as you, between 300-500mg a day for 4 years. I cut down to 30mg a day in about 10 weeks and didn't feel too bad... ymmv. Then shit hit the fan and I was back up to 500 and other huge amounts of rc benzos. I became extremely paranoid and delusional so after another 2 years quit cold turkey. This resulted in a full blown psychotic episode which lasted 8 months and resulted in me getting sectioned under the mental health act.

The key is getting as low as possible then slowly reducing. I don't think you'll have too many problems dropping to 70 and reducing say 10mg a week until 30... but I'm no doctor, just going on my experience! Good luck!
 
I have a hard time advocation anything other than a medically supervised detox given the dosages you've been taking. At the very least, I think you're going to need a long taper in order to avoid any extreme episodes. Perhaps they could put you on something like Clorazepate (Tranxene) or Chlordiazepoxide (Librium) to help even out the peaks and troughs. I do think that the rate in which you're decreasing is too fast.

You should read something called the Ashton Manual for Benzodiazepine cessation. There are some good points of reference that can help you more clearly understand your own situation.
 
This it what happened with me..


I was doing benzos for about 10 years, got up to around 50 mg diazepam plus 8mg alprazolam daily so similar levels to yourself.


When I ran out a few times I had seisures..


I tried doing 2mg diazepam reduction every 4 weeks and it almost worked, I'm not sure what really happened but after about a year or so I got down to around 5mg but then fucked it all up.. (With this taper I took quite a large dose reduction before starting ....not because I wanted to of course!! )


So I ended up going to rehab and it went a little something like this... ish..


160mg - ~132mg Cholrodiazepoxide for ~ 7 days
120mg Diazepam ~4 days (Not sure why I wasn't on diazepam to start with..)
60mg Diazepam ~ 4 days
30mg ~ 4 days
20mg~ 4 days
10mg~ 4 days
then below 10mgs I made my own taper plan (mostly coz the doctor didn't do one for me lol ...but I think it worked out better) involving optional doses (the thought of knowing I could have had 5mg if I really needed it helped enormously)


I was there for six weeks and got clean a few days before the end without too many problems. About the 20mg mark was the worst.


So it can be done... obviously it shouldn't ever be done this quickly without round the clock supervision that a rehab facility should provide.


To try to answer your main question, you taper plan before you go in seems sensible enough to me. If it get's too uncomfortable then obviously slow down and just wait until you're in rehab.
 
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The lower you go the slower you may wanna taper. Your doing a great job keep going :) :)
 
I say to go slower as you get lower cause that's when the withdrawal or worse withdrawal could happen.
 
I have never been with a benzo addiction as sizable as yours, but the gold standard that is the Ashton Manual (previously mentioned), as complex and laborious as it is, would be an absolute necessity for you to follow.

I had a seizure at my job after discontinuing a clonazolam binge abruptly, and also lowering my gabapentin dose simultaneously (both were occurrences out of my control).

Death is the main concern, aside from extreme discomfort (a braindead fog of unchecked adrenaline and anxiety... and if you sleep, you have dreams of murdering your parents).

I can relate more to your situation with my phenibut habit of 2-3 years ago. I had abruptly ceased an approximately 20 grams per day addiction that had been going on for about 6 months. This caused a full-blown psychotic experience that I endured for about 2 weeks, before obtaining a few lorazepam tabs from a doctor that snapped me back into reality almost overnight. I also had a less severe seizure during this period. I have been slowly preparing a trip report about some of the horrific and hilarious things that happened during this psychosis. I never really knew if I was dreaming or awake.

A lot of people say that benzo withdrawal is like a spiritual rebirth and can eventually be seen in a positive and strengthening glow, but you must live through it. Therefore, taper the dose as slowly as possible. If I were you, I wouldn't want to face the evil at a high velocity.

Gabapentin and an herb called gotu kola can alleviate a lot of the symptoms during the tapering process.
 
between 300-500mg a day for 4 years. I cut down to 30mg a day in about 10 weeks and didn't feel too bad... ymmv. Then shit hit the fan and I was back up to 500 and other huge amounts.....how in gods name do people get themselves at the dosage ranges? Why do they keep on upping the anti every time their tollerance keeps rising? Imo its just askin for trouble. If at say 50mg of diazepam aday is wearin thin its time to slowly taper down to 10 or 5mg until its not helter skelter out of control
 
Thanks for all your advice everyone.

Femailtrouble - how long was the gap for when you were on 30mg and back up to 500mg and what were the main reasons why? Thank you
 
Sindy121- The question that beggs an answer is - Where are all of these pills coming from? If you go to rehab, or taper off on your own will you only go back and get more pills next year and be back in trouble?
It sounds like you can trust your mom for help, and hopefully for you to be honest with her. My advice......
Do your research and come up with a daily tapering plan for yourself that won't leave you brain damaged. Buy calendars for 2016, 2017, and maybe even 2018. Go day by day and write your dosage plan on the calendars on every day. Get enough pills to cover the whole plan plus about 10% and give them ALL to your mom to distribute them to you daily(or hourly if possible).
Next, cut your source for these pills out of your life completely. It sounds like the biggest problem in your life right now is not how much you are taking but how much you know you can get in the future. Put off rehab for now and start stashing cash in case this plan fails- maybe you'll be able to afford a longer stay in rehab or you'll already be down to a much lower dosage.
Tha Ashton method works, but it does take a long time. Rehab works, but it is expensive. Nothing works permanently until you get truly serious about quitting and completely remove your 'source' from your life. And that may mean cutting out a spouse, sibling, or Doctor if that's where you get your pills.
 
Thanks squeaky for your advice, appreciated.

My situation is a bit different I think, I have done and abused lots of different drugs in my late teens-20's.

The worst was the white one which is the reason I started taking these. After being in a bad place for a couple of years I started to get my act together and stopped the white one.

Also by stopping the Valium I can't do the White one. For me the two go hand in hand together. I tried doing a small line without taking a Valium shortly after to level me out (that's what I used to do, very dangerous I know) I can't physically and mentally do one without the other. The paranoia I got from doing that line and my body expecting the Valium as it is used to didn't react well and I didn't do any more.

So going back to your question, the only reason I was taking these is to be able to do the other thing. As I've stopped the other thing I'm only taking these at night as my tollerance was so high.

To get these here in the uk (and the only way I was able to get such large amounts is by one guy who gets them in huge amounts but only every now and then.

I can pretty get hold of anything and have lots of numbed for lots of different things and know lots of people high up the food chain. (Nothing to brag about just telling you the fact) but these are so hard to get hold of they are like gold dust, j know you can get them off the net but after reading lots of different story's of people getting sold duds, fakes, nothing but money taken, your details being stolen etc I've never tried that route and don't ever plan to.

When my old "mate" couldn't get them any more years ago, There is only one guy I know who I got to know through making a hell of a lot of phone calls to a lot of different people, a couple who are now in jail serving 8 and another 5 years for getting caught doing what they do (one still runs his thing from prison).

Basically these are very very hard to get in large amounts here so I can delete him, I can block his number/fb. Every now and then I may hear someone has got something local (usually a small amount of say xanex or tamazepam etc but it's very rare.

So I believe in my mind that if I cut all ties with this guy I won't be able to get any. I want to stop taking these and I have stopped the White one which is the reason I took these. If I can't get these and I don't want to I literally can't and Won't be able to do the other thing.

I know how hard it's going to be but going back on them is not an option for me. I am so dedicated and motivated to kick this, I not putting myself through hell and spending a lot of my mums money to go back on them.

I've read all the comments on here and another forum so thank you to everyone who has put time in to reply, after speaking to the rehab and Drs there if I can continue to drop from 95-60 in 6 weeks and go in there beginning of Jan for 4 weeks, they believe they can get me down to at the very least 20mg. For me that is a huge drop. Then I am at the legal limit for my gp to prescribe the last 20mg and taper slow as I need to to get of the hardest part.

I want nothing to do with benzos or any other drug, I want to be clean of everything, I'm getting too old for this and need to sort my life out.

I have a lot of support around me now that I have told mates, family etc and I believe what I am doing is working.

Thanks again!
 
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One thing I forgot to mention, I have managed to get 7 weeks off work ( the first 4 of which I will be in rehab)at the beginning of Jan.

That is the only time I can get off and it's booked. I don't want to loose my job over this situation I have got myself into.

Thanks
 
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I would suggest getting a doctor too ween you down to like 20 mg in 6 months. The last 20 mg will be a bitch so I hope you can find a sympathetic doctor you will rx max clinical dose of 20 mg a day and you go from there. Once on 20 mg please do not abuse! be honest with yourself and your doctor. You will be fine. I know first hand this hell, A few yrs ago I was addicted to clonazepam (2mg) a day illicitly. Sudden cessation put me in status epilepticus. 2 years later I have an honest rx 3 mg a day and don't abuse it. If you feel you benzos actaully improve your life you don't need to quit, you need to only used what you are prescribed and believe it or not you'll find yourself asking for less (I did!) Good Luck and don't take this lightly you could die from withdrawl. I don't know the situation in the U.K but benzos and amphetamines are very easy to get prescribed if your honest about how they help you. for example I just Skype with my dr. once a month and get all my meds including amphetamine and clonazepam. Remember it's medicine if it helps your life it's okay to be on some meds but if you're determined to kick them for good that's positive. I personally cannot quit benzos I'll probably be on them my whole life and I guess it is what it is. i'm not getting high, I just feel better. I am very concerned for you because that is an outrageous dosage and I almost died on 2mg clonazepam withdrawl. Personally I think you might be wasting money on rehab. Rehab will provde you with some pills while there and resources when you leave but in one month you wont get very far I don't believe. People forget rehab is for removing you from the source and teaching you how to go to group therapy. One month later when you leave you will be in hell (unless you get a doctor) I'm not saying this to be rude or demoralizing I just know firsthand That kicking morphine and oxys is a breeze compared to sedative/hypnotic withdrawl. Good Luck God Speed
 
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It's easier than you think. When I was on 500 I'd just wake up, eat a handful of 10 and go about my day eating more handfuls whenever I felt like it. Diazepam doesn't make me black out like other benzos, it just became a normal part of life like making a coffee. Nobody knew how much i was taking. Xanax on the other hand would always end in a trail of destruction. I remember once buying 100 bars. Last thing I remember is eating 3. 4 days later I was sat on the couch thinking I'd just been chilling at home. Turns out I'd ended up in hospital twice, harassed the neighbours and blew all my money on scrap metal (wtf). Still can't remember any of it . Not a scrap.
 
Valium is a weak benzo generally used FOR benzo or alchohal withdraw just like librium. If you really want ask for librium to taper you off valium. It's a benzo like valium and lasts long. People think valium is long acting but it actually is not. It has a long half life which means your body bust doesn't crave it that soon. It doesn't effect you its entire half life. For me it lasts maybe an hour and a half if I feel shit. I think people with reg tolerances feel for like 3 3 1/2 hours. It is not like quitting a high dose of daily xanax or kolonopin or anything though. And I bet your doc will be ok switching to librium to taper of. Actually long acting benzo, snd not a huge joy like benzos can be but not bad snd helps negative feelings of w/d was the first benzo derived. Just is used rarely. I have valium and a bunch of librium. I get my valium from trading oxy now where my old psych did 10mg x3 a day. So I personally tapered down to 10 ×1 atm. Cut down a lil at a time
 
Thanks guys...

I've got a mixture of opinions on both sites I've posted. Most people are saying not to do what I am planning to do but there are more issues so I have no choice but to do the below.

The first issue is that it happens to be a coincidence that my only bloke who I've been getting them from hasn't been able to get any in 2 months and doesn't know when he can get more. He has tamazepam eggs or somthing so basically I run out literally in 6/7 weeks.

Other problem for those of you not from the UK the max legal limit a gp (nhs or private) is 30mg a day and that's in very extreme cases, it's very hard to get Valium from a gp. This leaves me with no choice but to.....

On 95mg now - drop 0.5 every week for the next 6 weeks, I will then be on 65mg, go into rehab for a month, they get me down to 20mg then I come out and have to taper as slow as I have to prescribed by my gp..

That's my only option here unless somone Has any others? I know this is a risk but it's my only option?

Thanks for everyone's help.
 
You shouldn't have any problem getting 30mg mate with your habit. When I did my original taper I was under the drug and alcohol services and was told to get to 30 alone then they took over. It was fine and dandy until the first day when I flushed my Diaz ready to pick up 3 days worth (90mg) buy the dozy doctor wrote "benzodiazepine" instead of "diazepam " so I couldn't get them! This was the first in a long line of fuck ups and lead to me hammering them again.

Like I said above you'll have to pick up every 1-3 days, if that bothers you then just go alone.
 
How do you feel at 90mg? I think you should be able to get to 30 within 8 weeks easily going on my experience. Obviously slow down if things get too tough. Keep us updated, I managed it and life is unbelievably better!
 
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