Benzo withdrawl - if you think you've been to hell, think again.

[DreamyDoe]

...Anyway I've seen a dietician since I got home and put on twelve lbs. Hope this says something about 2mgs of. Klonopin/day .. Don't take it if you don't need it.

-dp

exactly. Sorry for all that you went through/are going through. A friend of mine had a grand mal seizure in jail before anyone would listen to him that he legit needed his xanax prescription. Currently tapering off...you guessed it, 2mg klono myself. Been on that for 10 years, all legit prescribed by one doctor for anxiety. I always knew the dangers of benzo withdrawal from day 1. I can't say I was fooled or taken advantage of. But anyone with serious anxiety or other drug dependence issues knows that sometimes, or lots of times, taking the benzo seems the lesser of two evils. Now I lost my prescription because my doctor (go figure) lost his prescribing license. I am down to .25 mg/day and boy is it hell. I tried quitting completely, but after a few weeks, .25 now seems necessary. I am experiencing all the stuff you mention. The vivid dreams, tremors etc. I find worst to be this sense of impending doom and also just paralyzing anxiety, like can't leave the house and do the smallest thing, the worst. What I hate the most is never knowing when this will end or get better. Wishing you and everyone go through this good luck.

 

[dilated_pupils]

Thanks for the kind words.

 

[dilated_pupils]

Thanks for the kind words.

 

[Redkitty7]

You are amazing! I can't imagine being in jail and them denying you food you could eat. Where I'm from we just had 2 people die in county from wd's....cause the jerks wouldn't transfer them to hospital..totally unnecessary.
I may be a stranger but I'm proud of you and hope you get even more healthy.

 

[Hector]

I wish i could live without benzo's but whenever i've tried to quit i'm back at square one. Agraphobia, panic attacks and just a general feeling of dread. I've seen so many doctors and all they're prepared to give you is SSRI's. I really wanna try nardil or parnate, MAOI's, for my anxiety but doctors here in the UK very, very rarely prescribe them. It's a fucking joke. Also, good luck getting any prescribed benzo, "Hey doc, i'm having these really bad panic attacks what do you suggest, uhhh well why not try some breathing exercises." Ask for some diazepam and the response is a straight no because they're addictive. Well no shit but isn't that the case with SSRI's also? You can't just cold turkey off them.

I've given up on living clean, i really wish i could manage it but it's unbearable when you're experiencing all those intense anxiety feelings. Especially, having panic attacks in public. It's just embarassing. If the UK wised up and realised that there are people who really do need benzo's and that if they were prescribed and taken responsibly you wouldn't have people like myself buying in bulk off dealers and becoming addicted. In fact, the NHS as a whole in the UK is useless. Need to see a psychologist? Well, you'll have to wait six months. That was my experience.

Sorry, bit of a rant there...

 

[dilated_pupils]

I wish i could live without benzo's but whenever i've tried to quit i'm back at square one. Agraphobia, panic attacks and just a general feeling of dread. I've seen so many doctors and all they're prepared to give you is SSRI's. I really wanna try nardil or parnate, MAOI's, for my anxiety but doctors here in the UK very, very rarely prescribe them. It's a fucking joke. Also, good luck getting any prescribed benzo, "Hey doc, i'm having these really bad panic attacks what do you suggest, uhhh well why not try some breathing exercises." Ask for some diazepam and the response is a straight no because they're addictive. Well no shit but isn't that the case with SSRI's also? You can't just cold turkey off them.

I've given up on living clean, i really wish i could manage it but it's unbearable when you're experiencing all those intense anxiety feelings. Especially, having panic attacks in public. It's just embarassing. If the UK wised up and realised that there are people who really do need benzo's and that if they were prescribed and taken responsibly you wouldn't have people like myself buying in bulk off dealers and becoming addicted. In fact, the NHS as a whole in the UK is useless. Need to see a psychologist? Well, you'll have to wait six months. That was my experience.

Sorry, bit of a rant there...

Hey it is possible - I know it sounds/feels unreal(istic) - but it's possible!
I actually quit suboxone and benzos (3mgs of klonopin per day for years, and prior to that valium/ativan) at the same time roughly. I found myself wanting to get my body clean of the 'addiction' I was put on which was a mega over-dose (too much for too long - not literally ODing) of suboxone. Three 8mg tabs a day for 3 yrs I had a worse habit than what I prevented getting to in the first place.

Anyway - I used xanax .25mgs and 1mg klonopin to ween off. I stopped my 3mgs a day, and started with 3 pills a day still (because it's definitely mental as well). I'd fill my bottle up with .25mg xanax and klonopin 1mg, and whatever fell into my hand I'd throw into my mouth - I'd basically not know which it was - and it worked. Eventually I had a couple bottles saved up of my RX klonopin and I was done It was probably the best time to do it because I was so concerned with the suboxone withdrawal, which prevented me from eating correctly, or even wanting to I shall say. It's tough on the stomach.

I wish you luck and I promise you there are others ways - however if you feel stuck, do right by yourself, get clean off of it, and then figure out what "You" need and what "You" want to do about such issues you my have. A lot of the things we take anxiety meds for are really things we can overcome - social interactions etc.. albeit I still find a tiny bit of alcohol to be helpful in some 'stiff' parties or social gatherings - but getting drunk doesn't help anyone. Nor does having a tolerance to a benzo and having panic attacks because you want to talk to the pretty girl in the room.

-dp

 

[dilated_pupils]

You are amazing! I can't imagine being in jail and them denying you food you could eat. Where I'm from we just had 2 people die in county from wd's....cause the jerks wouldn't transfer them to hospital..totally unnecessary.
I may be a stranger but I'm proud of you and hope you get even more healthy.

Yeah I believe it, sadly. It's really not a good situation we're all put in - no matter what spectrum you're in. The only thing I don't understand is how those who choose to go into the criminal justice field, or whatever you'd call a guard at the jail's career path - live with themselves. I mean helping the needy is one thing, being paid to be an a$$hole and look the other way not only shows lack of character, but justifies my right to dislike you and your children IMO.

-dp

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

I can relate very well to this; although I had a bit more relief than you. I had a grand mal 3rd day into benzo wd; the following day I got locked up(got picked up on a warrant) and had to kick my 4 yr daily-use h habit. I'm vegetarian as well, which they don't give a shit about. (at this one place anyhow; another place I was at actually catered to it surprisingly, without much of a fight) You could tell them 5 times you're not eating that crap, but they don't listen. I always said it's my religion. It's not really but that's one way that they aren't suppose to question it. Not like I could even think about eating in there but i'm 5 foot; a hundred and nothing pounds. You'd think they'd be a little more concerned like this bitch might die up in here if she doesn't eat something.
Here, you stay in intake up to 18 hours then get moved to detox. That's the worst. 23 hour lock down. I had 3 other people in there with me. The sickest of the sick. detox at home is bad enough, but detox laying on a 'boat' on the floor next to a metal toilet with another boat directly across from you, with a bunk behind? What The Fuck.

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Hi matey, ive seen programs on american prisons, they are harsh it looks like they throw u in a cell with no meds, and let u cluck it out. Here in uk at least u get ur meds but conformation is essential, one thing I would ask is why do u commit a crime that can possibly, put u in prison when u know whats coming, sorry if I sound harsh, anyway benzo withdrawl is horrible u think ur dying ,do they realise u can fit and die u can sue prison u know that
right ,ok mate next time slowly taper off any benzo and I mean slow ok buddy .

 

[dilated_pupils]

@iLoveYouWithaKnife I feel for ya - never been in that situation but near it enough to hear people crying and puking It's BS. And it's sad.

Hi matey, ive seen programs on american prisons, they are harsh it looks like they throw u in a cell with no meds, and let u cluck it out. Here in uk at least u get ur meds but conformation is essential, one thing I would ask is why do u commit a crime that can possibly, put u in prison when u know whats coming, sorry if I sound harsh, anyway benzo withdrawl is horrible u think ur dying ,do they realise u can fit and die u can sue prison u know that
right ,ok mate next time slowly taper off any benzo and I mean slow ok buddy .

I had a small 'crime' if you an even call it that, that was 3 years old. Obviously my lifestyle was, well the same when it came to completation. They knew about my medications, and they didn't give them to me - family called the jail etc, nothing.

So trust me I don't like to consider the fact that I need to change my way of life for jail but if i had to - I'd prepare. In this case, there was no preparing.

-dp

 

['medicine cabinet']

dude...I had to work a 10 hour day busy as shit on my feet in day 2 of no kpins and I could barely function...I have no idea how you made it through that shit. makes me want to mail you some kpins lol. its such a strange wd, the mental is what really bugs me, I mildly hallucinate, cant think at all. shake and sweat. when I finally was able to get out of work that day my rx had finally been filled. I took two and within a minute I was puking my guts up spasming bc I hadn't been eating and there was nothing to throw up. I had made it all day w/o puking but of course once I get two pills in me they melt and come back up..

I cant even imagine how horrible that shit was for you man. benzo wd is no joke, I mean WD in any form is no joke. one drug that also has a shitty wd is clonidine bc you get rebound high BP buti digress..esp being locked down, I prob would have killed myself or gone insane to at least get shot up with Haldol.. cant believe they let you rot like that...I mean I can but I cant. hope the best for you bro.

my new dr realizes that benzo addiction just kinda has to be treated with more benzos over an extremely slow taper. he told me benzos change your neurochemistry. he said while long term opiate abuse will lower the ability of opis to bind to the mu receptor, you can kickstart your body into making more endorphins by working out. idk if anything exists like that for benzos..I was so close to kicking them a few years ago and I wish I had its just the wd is so protracted.

 

[dilated_pupils]

dude...I had to work a 10 hour day busy as shit on my feet in day 2 of no kpins and I could barely function...I have no idea how you made it through that shit. makes me want to mail you some kpins lol. its such a strange wd, the mental is what really bugs me, I mildly hallucinate, cant think at all. shake and sweat. when I finally was able to get out of work that day my rx had finally been filled. I took two and within a minute I was puking my guts up spasming bc I hadn't been eating and there was nothing to throw up. I had made it all day w/o puking but of course once I get two pills in me they melt and come back up..

I cant even imagine how horrible that shit was for you man. benzo wd is no joke, I mean WD in any form is no joke. one drug that also has a shitty wd is clonidine bc you get rebound high BP buti digress..esp being locked down, I prob would have killed myself or gone insane to at least get shot up with Haldol.. cant believe they let you rot like that...I mean I can but I cant. hope the best for you bro.

my new dr realizes that benzo addiction just kinda has to be treated with more benzos over an extremely slow taper. he told me benzos change your neurochemistry. he said while long term opiate abuse will lower the ability of opis to bind to the mu receptor, you can kickstart your body into making more endorphins by working out. idk if anything exists like that for benzos..I was so close to kicking them a few years ago and I wish I had its just the wd is so protracted.

Thanks for your reply. My brain is finally starting to even out now which is ridiculous considering the time frame however I'm glad that it's all over.

 

[Alkaloidich]

I too recently was forced to undergo the harrowing experience of a jail detox off of Suboxone (8mg/day) Klonopin (3mg/day) and Vyvanse 70mg/day. The Vyvanse was of course nothing compared to the subs and kpin. This happened to me very unexpectedly. I was in the jail's work release program and literally came back an hour late one night from work and was shanghaied to the actual jail side. In work release my meds were allowed. In the jail, hells no. Oh and I've been on these meds, this cocktail exactly for about 6 years by now. Everyday. The detox was brutal beyond imagination in so many ways. Basically it was all the hell of opiate w/d prolonged more due to the half life buildup of suboxone + a benzo rapid withdrawal. I was given ~5mg diazepam 2x a day for the first THREE days then cut off entirely. I almost seized out in the bathroom staring into a light. My vision became strange and I know I was literally right right there. Most county jails I now know are absolutely vicious when it comes to medical treatment, especially if its mental health. Basically if you don't take one of their drugs (which at the jail I was at were basically Remeron or Olanzapine...jesus, don't get me started on olanzapine...) your screwed because they have medically unsound blanket rules that must begin to change. People have to speak out on this issue. Look it up, people are DYING of withdrawal in county jails for misdemeanors. It took me a few months of being out to come around to feeling normal again. The whole 3+ months I was there and another 3 or so of feeling just GOD AWFUL. I went right back on my PRESCRIBED medications when I got out because, well, I need them...they help me and make my life better. This is serious discrimination against Americans with mental health issues. It needs to stop. No one, no one should go through what I went through. And this is like I said for a goddam misdemeanor.

 

[Xorkoth]

Dang, you dropped a 24mg a day suboxone habit one time, and the benzo WD was worse? Obviously, the different environments play a factor.

I just kicked sub (I thought jumping off 2mg was bad) and now I'm on klonopin (2mg per day) making a plan to kick that and be completely clean, but man that's crazy. I'll have to do some research, thanks for sharing.

I know this is an old post, but yeah, benzo withdrawal is worse than opiate withdrawal for sure. It's also potentially lethal.

 

[bigjon69]

Ohh man I've got two federal cases open on me atm and I'm doing like 4-8mg of k-pins a day. I tried rehab but they kicked me out. I was on suboxone for 3 months but I quit cold turkey (16mg) because it gave me limp dick and as somebody in his early 20s that's fxked up beyond belief..

 

[benzoheadplus44]

Im actually going through the complete opposite right now in a homeless situation.... Jail put me back on benzos and after being released i went out with a script for a month ... 3mg kpins a day for 90 days or so and then having a dr that does not understand a proper taper and here i am (and was last week again before i scored some to escape the mental torture i was going through in a shelter) again going through the horrible paranoia , social anxiety, and almost agoraphobia all causing me terrible depression... The physical part is not even the worst part Its the mental anguish that follows

For me at least.


Ive lost so much weight im still 160 which is 20 pounds lighter and my belt size is less than a 30 going from a 34... No matter how much or little i eat.

Once through this i will never... if i can control it... Go on Benzo meds again....

I feel like, though i know it will, never end.

Plus I'm about to withdrawal from 3600 mg gabapentin a day because i am eating mad amounts of it to try to feel better. Its only marginal at best. I am scared.

Im not in a shelter and with my girlfriend thank God but
Living in a van at the moment makes it so hard... Starting over again. .


I feel like how can i get a job until the worst passes? It feels like it never will...

I already suffer from ptsd, anxiety, and major depression. I almost just want off of all of my psych meds. I just made it through the effexor wd as well.... Thats another realm of hell in itself....

I feel lost.

And i am stuck in a much smaller area than i am from... Chicago to iowa. Less opportunities.

 

[chompy]

Heh I was on prescription benzos and quite a high dose of klonopin and xanax and when I was in jail all they did was give me a bunk on the bottom instead on top for 'medical reasons.' I was given gabapentin or something similar to prevent seizures tho.