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November Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. It's Fall! Again!

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Well, my cat is out of the bag. I had to admit to my sister that I was an addict.
Something came up where I couldn't lie my way out of it this time, so I had to come clean.

I've been doing all this in private and I thought that getting it off my chest would make me feel better, but for some reason, it hasn't.

But... This is gonna have to be it now. I'm gonna have to get better.
This is likely the best thing to happen to me right now, though. This may be just what was needed.

So, I feel incredibly weird right now... Admitting to my problem to someone who isn't a stranger.

How did I let it get this far?

stay strong man!

did you get rid of all the paraphernalia?
 
Yes I did... And I texted my people telling em what's up and now hoping they won't tempt me..

Too bad I have all their #s memorized, though.
I delete their #s, but in weak moments just punch it in.
Gonna have to stop that now that I've been found out.
 
Yes I did... And I texted my people telling em what's up and now hoping they won't tempt me..

Too bad I have all their #s memorized, though.
I delete their #s, but in weak moments just punch it in.
Gonna have to stop that now that I've been found out.

good luck man.

Tonight sucked. I can't believe Trump and the republicans won the house, senate, and presidency. :(
 
Ugh - 44 days off the opiates. I intentionally slept through the election yesterday thinking that I don't need the stress of it. Then I woke up this morning to a picture of our new President's face on every news site. I immediately thought "looks like I quit too soon" and have been having cravings ever since (a whole 51 minutes). This sucks! But I have a sense of impending doom.

Sorry, I'm just complaining about how effected I am by this election. Fuck politics, I'm 44 days sober - I'll be happy about that today and forget the rest.

- VE
 
@VE, i'm with you... really trying not to let the election fuck with my recovery. i made myself go to the gym today to get whatever endorphins up that i have available. that helped a little.

congrats on 44 days! aside from politics, how are you feeling?

i'm at 19 days since stopping heroin. feeling pretty good overall.
 
good luck man.

Tonight sucked. I can't believe Trump and the republicans won the house, senate, and presidency. :(

Yea. All joking aside, I have real fears about what this could ultimately mean for those of us who use illegal drugs.
 
So glad the election is over - way too much stress - at least we have an answer and can move forward.

I decided to remove the nicotine patches (3) I was wearing yesterday and went cold turkey. I got really really sick - surprisingly sick from no nicotine. I woke up puking and could barely talk. I had a crushing headache and was in a stupor like fog that wouldn't go away. I had a job interview at three today so when the situation hadn't improved by noon I dug the old nicotine patch out of the trash and put it back on as I didn't want a fresh patch.

My husband came home for lunch and brought me cigarettes because he knew I was sick. I am proud of myself, I did not break down and have one so I am still smoke free. I guess I'll wear this nicotine patch until all the nicotine has been absorbed and then try cold turkey again. If I get sick again then I'll just tough it out and maybe lock myself upstairs so nobody has to deal with my bitchiness and whining.

The job interview went okay - I fumbled my words frequently so I don't have high hopes. It was kind of embarrassing :/ I would love to go back to work and really hope I didn't blow this opportunity because there aren't too many opportunities in my area lately...

I hope everyone is doing well!
 
feeling stunned about the election. but i've got my ducks in a row recovery-wise for the day, so i'm as ready as i can be.

Moreaux, sorry to hear the nicotine is putting you through the wringer. My wife quit smoking about 5 years ago and has tried to stop using the patches several times, but with results similar to what you've described. It's been eye-opening for me. Wishing you all the best!
 
I have been fighting to get clean from heroin and oxy abuse all year. It went on for so long that it is taking a while to recover. During the spring and summer, the heroin was first to go. Then I was at 120mg oxy and I've been working my way down. Is there honestly no better feeling in the world when you start to get clean, when you start to feel like yourself again? I was numb for so long and feeling human again is absolutely wonderful. I am still at 40mg/day but I dose 12 hours apart and soon it will be ZERO. I chose to taper and it has been working out really well apart from a few relapses and mistakes. I know I'm still using a bit but I know I'm going to beat it, I no longer get high off these doses and I am still sick as fuck most of the time. Once I feel better, I drop my dose. I am beginning to feel so damn proud of myself because I was railing #4 all day every day for so long. I wouldn't even see dope as an option anymore. Also, switching to oral use only was very challenging. I have made so much damn progress I can't help but grin =D

I can already tell that I am going to be entering the happiest time of my whole entire life. Today marks a week at my current taper drop which was a harsh one. It has been absolute hell but I will never stop until I am free from this bullshit. What saved my ass was a huge online support system.
 
What an awesome post!

That really inspires me to get my shit together finally.
I look forward to feeling that awesome feeling of being sober and happy about it.
I'm still facing a huge challenge, no doubt about that, but I have no other options at this point. I have to beat it.
Plus, I need to start having money so I can repay everything that I've used... Which, sadly, is a lot of money, but it's my fault, so I have to do it.
And now that someone knows about my problem (sister), she's really on my ass about what I'm doing and who I'm talking to, etc. It's pretty annoying, but I know she's doing it for a good reason and will someday look back and be extremely thankful for that. Not that I'm not appreciative of it now, but you know...


The journey starts today, again. Thanks for that post, friend.
 
Just hoping my amount of bupe (35-40 mg or so) will be enough to taper with, but not too much to become hooked on that and have to have a super long detox off of that shit... But I hear good things about its effectiveness in beating this, so that's my tool I'm gonna be using.
 
^Good luck to you friend. If I can do this, so can you. I am suffering from severe chronic spinal pain, which is what led me to this nightmare. I'll take the pain and the stress because getting clean is such a damn good feeling and the drugs don't even really work for chronic pain long term. I will take anything that life throws at me, and keep myself clean. I will never give up this time. Something is different. I know that it's the last straw. I never had a full overdose, apart from passing out cold a lot, but I came close to death so many times. I have had chance after chance to get my life back and continued to choose getting high instead. Every time the withdrawal has gotten worse and it is presently unbearable. I am in my late 20's and if I keep this up I am going to throw my whole life away. I have too much going for me, it just cannot happen. I've already missed out on too much and life is so damn short. I am SO fed up with myself and the mistakes I have made, that I'm willing to do anything to change.
Not sure about bupe... I tapered with percocet which was kind of shitty but it really helped me learn self control too. If I have the pills around, and I'm not taking them, it helps strengthen my resolve not to relapse and ensures that I do in fact want to be clean. That's what is working for me and I'll never give up until I am taking zero milligrams of oxycodone a day. I am simply kicking the fuck out of the oxycodone at this point.
I wasn't expecting to feel this good. I thought I would just go back to being depressed, but I can already tell that I am going to bounce back with more energy and strength than ever before. I know that there are still rough days to come... the symptoms change on a daily basis but it's times like these that make me remember why I'm doing this. It's a good day : )
 
Congrats, Simco! 21 days is awesome! How are you feeling mentally and physically?

- VE
 
21 days? Fucking awesome!

I'm sorry, but I don't keep track well, was it opiates?
If so, cold turkey or are you maintaining?

Congratulations, dude!
 
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