yardbirdrc
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2011
- Messages
- 160
Date: October 29, 2016
Time: 10:30PM - 12:45AM
Drug: N,N-ethylpropyltryptamine
Dose: 60mg
It's been a while since I've delved into proper psychedelics. I don't really reach for them anymore unless they're needed - and the personal progress I was hoping to make with EPT has been a long time coming, and a long time put off. I won't bore you with personal details here, I'll save those for my journals. But suffice it to say the past six months for me have been emotionally traumatic - and practical circumstances seem to indicate that things aren't going to get better for a while yet. Making matters worse I've been abusing opiates and benzodiazepines to deal with this - not to any extreme degree but still way more than is necessary. This pattern isn't unusual for me. When finding myself in existential crisis of some kind, I start using the numbing drugs right away. Then I start trying to introspect, which is often the hardest part. My goal in this phase is to find the roots, or at least a few key points that I can focus on changing. I compose these into a sort of "intent proposal" to myself, then I choose the right psychedelic for the job and go to work attacking the harmful thought patterns. My feeling is that behavior cannot truly change without first changing the thought that informs that behavior (at least personally) - and changing the thought often involves going one level deeper than thought itself. That murky realm of subconscious, childhood, proto-emotion, blah blah blah. Trying to change behavior before changing thought... well you can just read "A Clockwork Orange". No need to get into it here.
The span of time between "something is wrong" and "now I'm fixing it" for this one has been far too long. And as a result, I'm starting to fear my drug abuse will develop into a proper independent habit. So that's sort of the thing spurring me to get off my ass and address these issues, but the drug abuse is quite honestly the least of my worries. Anybody who has been there and isn't completely inept knows that's just a symptom of a larger issue - or in my case right now, several. Unraveling everything has been so daunting, but it's just gotta be done now.
Enter ethylpropyltryptamine, which I actually purchased in a benzo fog some weeks ago and didn't realize until I saw the confirmation email the next day. Perhaps my mission to use this drug for my stated intent was doomed from the start. I guess I was hoping for a kind of deep, soul cleansing, life and death sock you right in the kisser kind of mushroomy thing, but maybe not as scary. I'm kind of terrified of mushrooms to be honest, but it'll probably come to them eventually. It was a total shot in the dark that maybe just maybe this tryptamine would hold some of that deeper power in a more palatable form. I was wrong, of all the drugs you could compare this to mushrooms are maybe the farthest away.
I guess part of choosing EPT was also that the opportunity to try a new drug is getting rarer for me. Considering there are only a few vague, often contradictory things written about this in the archives so far, I was also interested in trying a drug that I had almost no precoceived notions about. Every drug I've taken up to this point I've meticulously researched. EPT is kind of a wild card as of yet - hopefully my contribution to documenting the qualities of it is worth something, but more hopefully other people start writing about it too. Particularly because I'm really scratching my head at how to describe this stuff.
While EPT didn't hit me at the level I was hoping it would, or needed it to, it was therapeutic. I still have plenty of work to do after this, but considering this is the first psychedelic I've taken in... god, maybe a year? It was Riunite on ice nice.
I was alone, and would be alone for an extended period of time. This is very rare for me these days. Something kind of told me "now's the time". I weighed out sixty milligrams of etylpropyltryptamine fumarate, an off-white powder. I poured these milligrams onto a framed piece of somewhat psychedlic artwork a friend made for me - I felt this was a nice touch. I ran over the chunks with a gemstar until they were a fine powder. Strangely, one of the tiny rocks I broke open had some very dark discoloration or impurity inside, almost black. That was a little strange - reminded me of that Berenstain Bears book about the apple with the worm in it. I flicked the black flecks of to the side. I divided the sixty (now sixty-ish) milligrams into three lines of twenty each, unsure if I'd use them all. I cut a tiny fragment off the first line of maybe 2 or 3mg and set that aside as an allergy test.
I snorted the allergy test and put on Alice Coltrane's "Journey in Satchidananda". I queued up the Dead live at Barton Hall 1977 after that. I used Alice to kind of medidate and set intention. I jotted down some things I wanted to focus on and some practical notes, and as I did so I felt a very mild tryptamine alert from the allergy test. As the Alice album ended, and I was reasonably confident I hadn't just snorted two or three milligrams of 25i-NBOH-GOD-WHAT-HAVE-I-DONE, I readied myself to snort the first twenty milligrams as Minglewood Blues kicked in.
I did. It smelled like DMT and didn't sting too bad. I laid down.
The chronology of this line, and each successive line was about a half hour build with some mild anxiety to what then became a stable and relatively comfortable plateau. After 20mg I was definitely feeling it, but there wasn't much to it. Visuals were nearly not there at all. Headspace wasn't much deeper than "oh, I'm tripping". Body felt a little weird but really pretty comfortable all-said. After the first half hour, when it seemed like things weren't going to build anymore, I snorted the second pile.
This is where things got a little interesting. I got up to urinate immediately after the second pile, then immediately masturbated. The whole time it was happening I was kind of just shocked by myself. I have a pretty active and fulfilling sex life so it's not like I was "pent up" or anything, and I very rarely masturbate at all anymore. But I guess... "it was there!"
Afterwards I kept wondering if this would be a turning point in the trip, like I had just released some energy or exorcised some demon that would allow me to get to the meat of EPT or live a normal happy life or both. Neither was the case, although the effects did increase but that was probably more from having just snorting more drugs than having just ejaculated. Who knows, who cares.
I laid back and there were more visuals now. Music was incredible. I'm not a big Grateful Dead guy but it was perfect for this. It was gentle but interesting and kind of guided the emotional tone of the trip into lighter sections and heavier sections. Lyrics kept sticking out to me as relevant to my present situation, and sometimes I'd write those down. I wrote quite a bit in this period of the trip actually - I don't do that often but I've been writing more lately in general. You can clearly see the progression of the effects in my handwriting as it goes from small block letters of relatively cogent thought to half page scrawlings TRUST IT TRUST TRUST TRUST THE LIGHT!!!!
As the second line was hitting it's plateau I just kept thinking "this isn't what I thought it was" and "how am I supposed to work in this?" There is definitely a headspace going on but it's not that deep death-y God-y shit I'm used to from 4-subs or DMT even. It was surprisingly similar to LSD. Analytical, sometimes silly and wry, other times thought-loopy and confusing. Basically, this stuff can't really go deeper than thoughts. It kind of just lives at that level. I disagree with people saying it's useless, though. Is LSD useless? I know these things are different for everybody but for me I can absolutely see this being a useful tool even though it wasn't the one I needed on this particular day. I thought a lot and wrote a lot, I made a lot of weird connections and drew a lot of stuff out into abstractions. Some dualities collapsed or became points that I could muse on for a while. It's not stupid.
What's more is that the headspace is not at all forceful. Maybe that's why some people don't think it's there, but it's very similar to mescaline for me in the way that it kind of opens up this thing for you that you can use how you please. The space is nothing like mescaline's qualitatively, I just mean to say it holds your hand and doesn't throw shit in your face like other tryptamines I've tried. It's pretty astonishing to me just how unlike DMT this stuff is, and how starkly in opposition it is to 4-HO-DMT.
I did the third line. The come-up was a little bumpy with some anxiety and weird body sensations but I plateaud out in a place that I could finally say was somewhat impressive. The visuals didn't really come out in any meaningful way until this level. What had been run-of-the-mill warping in the ceiling now became downright... bacterial. Like flesh with these moving patches of eczema - very "biological". I've never seen anything like it. At one point I felt a presence trying to push through the ceiling, and I could kind of hear it telepathically calling out to me and telling me it couldn't find me. It was hilarious - like a DMT entity trying to get to me but it was like "Wait, EPT? Where the hell is EPT? I'm in DMT right now, is that close? Hold on, you're breaking up..." and then it was gone.
For the half hour or so following the plateau of the final line I gave up on trying to use the space for my intentions. It was obviously not what I needed, but I was happy with what I had already gotten out of it at the lower levels, which was something at least. At 60mg it was intense enough that I just kind of threw up my hands and went along for the ride. It was a fun ride! Not that challenging but certainly not vapid or boring, and kind of pretty visually if not a little odd.
And then it was gone so fast conspiracy theorists will probably claim later it was a controlled demolition. Tripping reasonably hard and then back to baseline entirely in less than 10 minutes, only 2.5 hours from the initial dose and maybe 1 hour from the last dose. I didn't even realize it! Just suddenly "oh shit, I'm sober?".
Anyhow, this stuff is strange smokey jazz. I think it might be useful for me for some applications after getting a little bit more used to it. It has a knack for hitting that same kind of upper-level analytical shit that LSD does but it's a lot easier and shorter. That's worth something. It's a failure of a pearl-diver though, at least at this dose, and in this body. At least it was very fun. It let me feel actual joy for the first time in a while, but that's more a testament to my failures than EPT's successes. I've never taken DPT but I can't see this scaring people in the same way that one sometimes does - even when it was "weird" it was never spooky or disconcerting. I can't see it being social either, really. Sure I was laughing and having a good time, but I was also locked to the couch staring at the ceiling.
I'll probably give this stuff another go eventually, but going past the dosage I took I somehow doubt it'll get different or more challenging. I like this stuff, but I'm much more excited about my stash of MET than I am about EPT after comparing Kaleida's recent report to this one. I wonder what a "breakthrough" on this would be like, or if its even possible? My best imagination of it would be like walking in on a DMT entity taking a shit. I'll end this report with something from my notebook during the experience that kind of neatly wraps up the enigmatic nature of this compound:
Turn on
Tune in
Drop out
Deez nuts
Thank you for your time.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ept
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
roacode_nasal
Time: 10:30PM - 12:45AM
Drug: N,N-ethylpropyltryptamine
Dose: 60mg
It's been a while since I've delved into proper psychedelics. I don't really reach for them anymore unless they're needed - and the personal progress I was hoping to make with EPT has been a long time coming, and a long time put off. I won't bore you with personal details here, I'll save those for my journals. But suffice it to say the past six months for me have been emotionally traumatic - and practical circumstances seem to indicate that things aren't going to get better for a while yet. Making matters worse I've been abusing opiates and benzodiazepines to deal with this - not to any extreme degree but still way more than is necessary. This pattern isn't unusual for me. When finding myself in existential crisis of some kind, I start using the numbing drugs right away. Then I start trying to introspect, which is often the hardest part. My goal in this phase is to find the roots, or at least a few key points that I can focus on changing. I compose these into a sort of "intent proposal" to myself, then I choose the right psychedelic for the job and go to work attacking the harmful thought patterns. My feeling is that behavior cannot truly change without first changing the thought that informs that behavior (at least personally) - and changing the thought often involves going one level deeper than thought itself. That murky realm of subconscious, childhood, proto-emotion, blah blah blah. Trying to change behavior before changing thought... well you can just read "A Clockwork Orange". No need to get into it here.
The span of time between "something is wrong" and "now I'm fixing it" for this one has been far too long. And as a result, I'm starting to fear my drug abuse will develop into a proper independent habit. So that's sort of the thing spurring me to get off my ass and address these issues, but the drug abuse is quite honestly the least of my worries. Anybody who has been there and isn't completely inept knows that's just a symptom of a larger issue - or in my case right now, several. Unraveling everything has been so daunting, but it's just gotta be done now.
Enter ethylpropyltryptamine, which I actually purchased in a benzo fog some weeks ago and didn't realize until I saw the confirmation email the next day. Perhaps my mission to use this drug for my stated intent was doomed from the start. I guess I was hoping for a kind of deep, soul cleansing, life and death sock you right in the kisser kind of mushroomy thing, but maybe not as scary. I'm kind of terrified of mushrooms to be honest, but it'll probably come to them eventually. It was a total shot in the dark that maybe just maybe this tryptamine would hold some of that deeper power in a more palatable form. I was wrong, of all the drugs you could compare this to mushrooms are maybe the farthest away.
I guess part of choosing EPT was also that the opportunity to try a new drug is getting rarer for me. Considering there are only a few vague, often contradictory things written about this in the archives so far, I was also interested in trying a drug that I had almost no precoceived notions about. Every drug I've taken up to this point I've meticulously researched. EPT is kind of a wild card as of yet - hopefully my contribution to documenting the qualities of it is worth something, but more hopefully other people start writing about it too. Particularly because I'm really scratching my head at how to describe this stuff.
While EPT didn't hit me at the level I was hoping it would, or needed it to, it was therapeutic. I still have plenty of work to do after this, but considering this is the first psychedelic I've taken in... god, maybe a year? It was Riunite on ice nice.
I was alone, and would be alone for an extended period of time. This is very rare for me these days. Something kind of told me "now's the time". I weighed out sixty milligrams of etylpropyltryptamine fumarate, an off-white powder. I poured these milligrams onto a framed piece of somewhat psychedlic artwork a friend made for me - I felt this was a nice touch. I ran over the chunks with a gemstar until they were a fine powder. Strangely, one of the tiny rocks I broke open had some very dark discoloration or impurity inside, almost black. That was a little strange - reminded me of that Berenstain Bears book about the apple with the worm in it. I flicked the black flecks of to the side. I divided the sixty (now sixty-ish) milligrams into three lines of twenty each, unsure if I'd use them all. I cut a tiny fragment off the first line of maybe 2 or 3mg and set that aside as an allergy test.
I snorted the allergy test and put on Alice Coltrane's "Journey in Satchidananda". I queued up the Dead live at Barton Hall 1977 after that. I used Alice to kind of medidate and set intention. I jotted down some things I wanted to focus on and some practical notes, and as I did so I felt a very mild tryptamine alert from the allergy test. As the Alice album ended, and I was reasonably confident I hadn't just snorted two or three milligrams of 25i-NBOH-GOD-WHAT-HAVE-I-DONE, I readied myself to snort the first twenty milligrams as Minglewood Blues kicked in.
I did. It smelled like DMT and didn't sting too bad. I laid down.
The chronology of this line, and each successive line was about a half hour build with some mild anxiety to what then became a stable and relatively comfortable plateau. After 20mg I was definitely feeling it, but there wasn't much to it. Visuals were nearly not there at all. Headspace wasn't much deeper than "oh, I'm tripping". Body felt a little weird but really pretty comfortable all-said. After the first half hour, when it seemed like things weren't going to build anymore, I snorted the second pile.
This is where things got a little interesting. I got up to urinate immediately after the second pile, then immediately masturbated. The whole time it was happening I was kind of just shocked by myself. I have a pretty active and fulfilling sex life so it's not like I was "pent up" or anything, and I very rarely masturbate at all anymore. But I guess... "it was there!"
Afterwards I kept wondering if this would be a turning point in the trip, like I had just released some energy or exorcised some demon that would allow me to get to the meat of EPT or live a normal happy life or both. Neither was the case, although the effects did increase but that was probably more from having just snorting more drugs than having just ejaculated. Who knows, who cares.
I laid back and there were more visuals now. Music was incredible. I'm not a big Grateful Dead guy but it was perfect for this. It was gentle but interesting and kind of guided the emotional tone of the trip into lighter sections and heavier sections. Lyrics kept sticking out to me as relevant to my present situation, and sometimes I'd write those down. I wrote quite a bit in this period of the trip actually - I don't do that often but I've been writing more lately in general. You can clearly see the progression of the effects in my handwriting as it goes from small block letters of relatively cogent thought to half page scrawlings TRUST IT TRUST TRUST TRUST THE LIGHT!!!!
As the second line was hitting it's plateau I just kept thinking "this isn't what I thought it was" and "how am I supposed to work in this?" There is definitely a headspace going on but it's not that deep death-y God-y shit I'm used to from 4-subs or DMT even. It was surprisingly similar to LSD. Analytical, sometimes silly and wry, other times thought-loopy and confusing. Basically, this stuff can't really go deeper than thoughts. It kind of just lives at that level. I disagree with people saying it's useless, though. Is LSD useless? I know these things are different for everybody but for me I can absolutely see this being a useful tool even though it wasn't the one I needed on this particular day. I thought a lot and wrote a lot, I made a lot of weird connections and drew a lot of stuff out into abstractions. Some dualities collapsed or became points that I could muse on for a while. It's not stupid.
What's more is that the headspace is not at all forceful. Maybe that's why some people don't think it's there, but it's very similar to mescaline for me in the way that it kind of opens up this thing for you that you can use how you please. The space is nothing like mescaline's qualitatively, I just mean to say it holds your hand and doesn't throw shit in your face like other tryptamines I've tried. It's pretty astonishing to me just how unlike DMT this stuff is, and how starkly in opposition it is to 4-HO-DMT.
I did the third line. The come-up was a little bumpy with some anxiety and weird body sensations but I plateaud out in a place that I could finally say was somewhat impressive. The visuals didn't really come out in any meaningful way until this level. What had been run-of-the-mill warping in the ceiling now became downright... bacterial. Like flesh with these moving patches of eczema - very "biological". I've never seen anything like it. At one point I felt a presence trying to push through the ceiling, and I could kind of hear it telepathically calling out to me and telling me it couldn't find me. It was hilarious - like a DMT entity trying to get to me but it was like "Wait, EPT? Where the hell is EPT? I'm in DMT right now, is that close? Hold on, you're breaking up..." and then it was gone.
For the half hour or so following the plateau of the final line I gave up on trying to use the space for my intentions. It was obviously not what I needed, but I was happy with what I had already gotten out of it at the lower levels, which was something at least. At 60mg it was intense enough that I just kind of threw up my hands and went along for the ride. It was a fun ride! Not that challenging but certainly not vapid or boring, and kind of pretty visually if not a little odd.
And then it was gone so fast conspiracy theorists will probably claim later it was a controlled demolition. Tripping reasonably hard and then back to baseline entirely in less than 10 minutes, only 2.5 hours from the initial dose and maybe 1 hour from the last dose. I didn't even realize it! Just suddenly "oh shit, I'm sober?".
Anyhow, this stuff is strange smokey jazz. I think it might be useful for me for some applications after getting a little bit more used to it. It has a knack for hitting that same kind of upper-level analytical shit that LSD does but it's a lot easier and shorter. That's worth something. It's a failure of a pearl-diver though, at least at this dose, and in this body. At least it was very fun. It let me feel actual joy for the first time in a while, but that's more a testament to my failures than EPT's successes. I've never taken DPT but I can't see this scaring people in the same way that one sometimes does - even when it was "weird" it was never spooky or disconcerting. I can't see it being social either, really. Sure I was laughing and having a good time, but I was also locked to the couch staring at the ceiling.
I'll probably give this stuff another go eventually, but going past the dosage I took I somehow doubt it'll get different or more challenging. I like this stuff, but I'm much more excited about my stash of MET than I am about EPT after comparing Kaleida's recent report to this one. I wonder what a "breakthrough" on this would be like, or if its even possible? My best imagination of it would be like walking in on a DMT entity taking a shit. I'll end this report with something from my notebook during the experience that kind of neatly wraps up the enigmatic nature of this compound:
Turn on
Tune in
Drop out
Deez nuts
Thank you for your time.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ept
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
roacode_nasal
Last edited by a moderator:
This sounds really interesting, so far I have tried 4-HO-MPT as far as these DPT-like unusual tryptamines, and I found it to be remarkably LSD-like as compared to other more classic 4-subs. I actually have MPT (the base MPT) now too and I intend on trying it soon.
