Every trip has the potential to be good, bad or indifferent, but the day they all start to be the same is the day to quit.
I recently received some MXE; reviewing early threads on MXE it seemed the reviews were generally good and that the substance itself, at least in earlier forms, tended to be white and clumpy; what I received seemed to fit the description of earlier batches.
Now, another thing spotted on researching was that MXE seems to last quite significantly longer than Ketamine which is the only other dissociative that I have used to date. Just a little history firstly: I am well experienced with LSD, and have fairly extensive experience of 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-MIPT, 2C-B and 2C-E. I have a little less experience of 2C-P, 1P-LSD, ALD52 and AL-LAD. Overall, I am comfortable with psychedelic substances and have ridden the white-knuckle ride of intense trips on many occasions.
I had previously trialled MXE: I first IMed 5MG, waited an hour and then IMed another 5mg and received a definite buzz, but not full dissociation; to be expected considering the doses, but really this was just to test for allergies or for incorrect substance identification (HR kids- very important!). About a week later I had taken 20mg IM, followed by 10mg plugged about 1.5 hours later (running short of needles, hence the plugged dose). This obviously produced a stronger high, but was not approaching the sort of level I would get with say 60mg Ketamine IMed. Still, it seemed to warrant further exploration.
As regards Ketamine use, I?€™m not a huge fan of using it alone: I generally prefer to use it after the peak of a psychedelic. For me, there is nothing like a 60-70mg shot of ketamine to really finish off a trip as it seems to bring me back up nicely and really brings out any remaining visuals. For this reason, I decided to try mixing MXE with a psychedelic.
My substance of choice for this was 4-HO-MET (metocin); probably the smoothest of all the psychedelics currently in my stash, with never a difficult trip under my belt. I can understand some people having some anxiety during the come up in higher doses (for me about 30mg+) as it does come on rather strong, but I have done enough 4 subs to be able to handle this. On this occasion I opted for 20mg as being a nice moderate dose and I had no tolerance, my last psychedelic trip being four weeks prior.
So, on to ingestion: I mix the Metocin in water, stir thoroughly and drink. Whilst waiting for the come up I shower and shave and then spend about 20 minutes getting my room ready: l-arginine and Magnesium capsules close at hand, 2 litre bottle of water etc. By this point the familiar surge of tryptamines is starting to be felt: slight tremors and a rising feeling of energy.
By an hour I?€™m getting the usual effects; Metocin (and Miprocin) always get me on to thinking about politics and I?€™m debating many topics in my head: why people tend to follow demagogues, why they vote for parties who they know will destroy public services etc. Some insights to be had, along with thinking about political rhetoric. I write a political/economic blog, so I often get some good ideas when tripping. At this point all is normal, but the visual effects seem rather muted. I hadn?€™t really noticed too much as I was busy discussing theories with myself.
So, I decided it was time to add the MXE. I have been contemplating adding a dissociative to a psychedelic earlier in the experience for quite some time: the thinking is that it is so wonderful after the peak that surely it must make the peak even better? However, I had exhausted my supply of trusty ketamine, so this particular experiment would have to be conducted with MXE.
The syringe containing the MXE was injected and I settled down on my bed for what I was hoping would be a blissful experience. How wrong I was! This was not immediately apparent; clearly I had been raised to a new level, and some visual activity was apparent, although I was not really able to focus on it in the way I would with ketamine after a peak. At about two hours after the Metocin ingestion (45 minutes after the MXE) I received an urgent Instant message from work to resolve a support issue (I had cleared the decks of work, but this was necessary); I was easily able to do this and went back to my hoped-for reverie.
This is about the time things really started to take a turn. I guess that dissociatives could promote a detached feeling, but I felt completely detached from myself. I found myself asking ?€œWhat am I doing here??€, not in a philosophical sense, but a literal sense. The next question presented to myself ?€œDoes anyone actually care??€. These are not good subjects to start getting caught up in during a trip as experience tells me, but I just could not shift them.
At some point the postman delivered a package; the package contained a new batch of ketamine. Given that I was now more than two hours into the trip I figured that I would snort a couple of lines to try and lift myself. It is clear that although you may think a substance provides clarity, it is a myth in many cases and with hindsight this was probably not the best idea; however, it is a substance I know and was hoping that the familiar would raise my mood. Anyway, I measured around 50mg of Ketamine and up my nostrils it went.
Again, I got a lift and some of the familiar effects of ketamine, but nothing like I would usually get. I was still stuck in something of a spiral as I put in my notes:
?€œSome overwhelmingly depressive influence seems to be bearing down on everything today.?€
I found myself listing words: Guilt, empathy, compassion. Clearly there is not enough of the last two in the world right now, and certain people should be feeling more guilt. But, this has been the case for quite some time, so why should I focus on this right now?
I started to question my own abilities. Is the work I produce a bunch of crap? Do I mouth off too much about politics and economics, talking as I am to cyberspace where you don?€™t really receive much feedback? Why should I bother... I could recognise a bad situation when I see it: there?€™s only one way this path leads and it is full-scale depression. Aliens from another planet seemingly arrived and were spreading the seeds of depression in my mind. In the insanity of a blue-skied Thursday lunchtime I was stuck in a loop, with the aliens of depression running amok. Why should I go on when the world is such a shitty place, full of people who think of nothing but themselves, an economics profession that has spent the best part of fifty years devising theories as to why personal self-interest will lead to the best outcome for society? Why do I want to bring up my daughter in this world?
I am a strong minded person; I like to voice my opinions and I know how to separate my concerns from the world from my personal life (although this does not mean that I do not consider my impact on the environment and society when going about my life!). From somewhere within my mind a shining light started to appear.
I had started playing Debut by Bjork on my sound system. The thing I love about that album is that it is almost as if you are inviting Bjork into the room to share her music with you. I know that any good sound system is supposed to do that, but the production and content of Debut is such that it feels immensely personal. When ?€œVenus as a Child?€ came on, I found myself being lifted up, and a voice said ?€œYou want to stay in this world so that you can bring up your daughter; teach her what is right and what is wrong and live to enjoy life as she develops and blossoms into a beautiful, caring adult?€.
I should add that we have had one or two behavioural problems lately with my six year old daughter (which I won?€™t go into) and this had been playing on my mind somewhat and we had to agree how to deal with this issue. I think I had resolved that the disciplinarian approach I had been adopting needed to be tempered; of course, it is difficult to try and get to the bottom of what causes such behaviour with a young child, but she is on that threshold when she is able to better articulate problems.
Having thought this through, I figured I would vape some weed. This was about 4.5 to 5 after the initial Metocin ingestion. I had thought about doing some previous to this, but was worried that it might exacerbate the gloomy feelings. How wrong I was! I don?€™t know if resolving the question over my daughter had made a difference, or if I had been lacking the weed all along, but suddenly the floodgates were opened to the most utterly overwhelming waves of euphoria.
Normally I have a pretty set routine when tripping: depending on the substance I will always have some weed. For the 4subs, this is generally around the 1.25 hour mark. For other substances such as acid, I will usually wait until just after the peak; I would then follow with the Ketamine once I know the peak is winding down. I had abstained from weed so far on this trip for the reasons mentioned above, so perhaps this affected my mindset as well?
Whatever the reasons were, I finally reached a sort of Nirvana state; the body high was utterly euphoric, up there with some of the best experiences I have ever had. The visuals were breathtaking: the thing I love about taking ketamine is that it seems to loosed the eye-sockets; I?€™m not sure how to explain it, but it?€™s like a spanner has been taken to my eyeballs and my face above my eyes is suddenly free to twitch and allow me to completely immerse myself in visuals. Of course, weed often brings out the visual aspects of a substance (certainly for me anyway), but this was almost like the effects I should have been feeling hours ago had been bottled up and were pushing to get out, and now that the faucet had been opened the visual and body-high aspects of all the substances I had taken all come out at once. For almost 45 minutes I lay back and basked in this new found feeling of utter bliss, my eyes at times becoming almost completely detached from each other as the room moved rapidly from left to right. I was able to control this; if I wanted to I could switch back to normal, after which I could dive straight back in by looking at a single point for a few seconds. I took another hit of weed and continued the ride before slowly allowing it to subside.
It has been some time since I had a truly difficult trip, and I am not sure how I would have coped without my previous experiences. I did have some Xanax at hand just in case, but I never felt the need to reach for them. Clearly recent issues had been playing on my mind, and somehow the combination of substances dredged them up to be considered. I cannot say that I enjoyed the trip at all; I felt marginally better for thinking through the personal issues, but no real feeling of enlightenment ensued. Obviously the final part of the trip was marvellous, but it was not worth the earlier parts.
I am not at all sure that I like MXE. I have seen others post that they also struggled to see the purpose in their first few trials. However, what I have definitely noticed is the God-syndrome effect (such as I?€™ve read about with other dissociatives such as PCP). I really do not like this effect at all: I am not looking for a drug to make me feel like I can solve all the world?€™s problems and that I am superior to others which is what MXE is hinting at with the doses I have so far taken. Ketamine is a very different beast; it allows inner-exploration without making you feel like the master of the Universe.
There is also the after-effect of the substance. Some suggest that there is a pleasant afterglow that lasts for a few days (or longer) which makes it so much better; I have not discovered that. I have found that I am somewhat irritable and struggle to focus on tasks. I will probably experiment a bit further given that I have a fair quantity remaining. I will take it on its own to see if I am missing something and stick to using ketamine as my mixer for psychedelics.
Of course, there is the possibility that the substance in question is not MXE given the ongoing drought; I will order a test kit online to try and make sure.
What I will say is that this experience will not stop my explorations with psychedelics; going back to my opening line, every trip is different; the fact that this one was different in a dysphoric way does not mean that I have reached the end.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_4homet
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_ketamine
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
roacode_nasal
roacode_im
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
I recently received some MXE; reviewing early threads on MXE it seemed the reviews were generally good and that the substance itself, at least in earlier forms, tended to be white and clumpy; what I received seemed to fit the description of earlier batches.
Now, another thing spotted on researching was that MXE seems to last quite significantly longer than Ketamine which is the only other dissociative that I have used to date. Just a little history firstly: I am well experienced with LSD, and have fairly extensive experience of 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-MIPT, 2C-B and 2C-E. I have a little less experience of 2C-P, 1P-LSD, ALD52 and AL-LAD. Overall, I am comfortable with psychedelic substances and have ridden the white-knuckle ride of intense trips on many occasions.
I had previously trialled MXE: I first IMed 5MG, waited an hour and then IMed another 5mg and received a definite buzz, but not full dissociation; to be expected considering the doses, but really this was just to test for allergies or for incorrect substance identification (HR kids- very important!). About a week later I had taken 20mg IM, followed by 10mg plugged about 1.5 hours later (running short of needles, hence the plugged dose). This obviously produced a stronger high, but was not approaching the sort of level I would get with say 60mg Ketamine IMed. Still, it seemed to warrant further exploration.
As regards Ketamine use, I?€™m not a huge fan of using it alone: I generally prefer to use it after the peak of a psychedelic. For me, there is nothing like a 60-70mg shot of ketamine to really finish off a trip as it seems to bring me back up nicely and really brings out any remaining visuals. For this reason, I decided to try mixing MXE with a psychedelic.
My substance of choice for this was 4-HO-MET (metocin); probably the smoothest of all the psychedelics currently in my stash, with never a difficult trip under my belt. I can understand some people having some anxiety during the come up in higher doses (for me about 30mg+) as it does come on rather strong, but I have done enough 4 subs to be able to handle this. On this occasion I opted for 20mg as being a nice moderate dose and I had no tolerance, my last psychedelic trip being four weeks prior.
So, on to ingestion: I mix the Metocin in water, stir thoroughly and drink. Whilst waiting for the come up I shower and shave and then spend about 20 minutes getting my room ready: l-arginine and Magnesium capsules close at hand, 2 litre bottle of water etc. By this point the familiar surge of tryptamines is starting to be felt: slight tremors and a rising feeling of energy.
By an hour I?€™m getting the usual effects; Metocin (and Miprocin) always get me on to thinking about politics and I?€™m debating many topics in my head: why people tend to follow demagogues, why they vote for parties who they know will destroy public services etc. Some insights to be had, along with thinking about political rhetoric. I write a political/economic blog, so I often get some good ideas when tripping. At this point all is normal, but the visual effects seem rather muted. I hadn?€™t really noticed too much as I was busy discussing theories with myself.
So, I decided it was time to add the MXE. I have been contemplating adding a dissociative to a psychedelic earlier in the experience for quite some time: the thinking is that it is so wonderful after the peak that surely it must make the peak even better? However, I had exhausted my supply of trusty ketamine, so this particular experiment would have to be conducted with MXE.
The syringe containing the MXE was injected and I settled down on my bed for what I was hoping would be a blissful experience. How wrong I was! This was not immediately apparent; clearly I had been raised to a new level, and some visual activity was apparent, although I was not really able to focus on it in the way I would with ketamine after a peak. At about two hours after the Metocin ingestion (45 minutes after the MXE) I received an urgent Instant message from work to resolve a support issue (I had cleared the decks of work, but this was necessary); I was easily able to do this and went back to my hoped-for reverie.
This is about the time things really started to take a turn. I guess that dissociatives could promote a detached feeling, but I felt completely detached from myself. I found myself asking ?€œWhat am I doing here??€, not in a philosophical sense, but a literal sense. The next question presented to myself ?€œDoes anyone actually care??€. These are not good subjects to start getting caught up in during a trip as experience tells me, but I just could not shift them.
At some point the postman delivered a package; the package contained a new batch of ketamine. Given that I was now more than two hours into the trip I figured that I would snort a couple of lines to try and lift myself. It is clear that although you may think a substance provides clarity, it is a myth in many cases and with hindsight this was probably not the best idea; however, it is a substance I know and was hoping that the familiar would raise my mood. Anyway, I measured around 50mg of Ketamine and up my nostrils it went.
Again, I got a lift and some of the familiar effects of ketamine, but nothing like I would usually get. I was still stuck in something of a spiral as I put in my notes:
?€œSome overwhelmingly depressive influence seems to be bearing down on everything today.?€
I found myself listing words: Guilt, empathy, compassion. Clearly there is not enough of the last two in the world right now, and certain people should be feeling more guilt. But, this has been the case for quite some time, so why should I focus on this right now?
I started to question my own abilities. Is the work I produce a bunch of crap? Do I mouth off too much about politics and economics, talking as I am to cyberspace where you don?€™t really receive much feedback? Why should I bother... I could recognise a bad situation when I see it: there?€™s only one way this path leads and it is full-scale depression. Aliens from another planet seemingly arrived and were spreading the seeds of depression in my mind. In the insanity of a blue-skied Thursday lunchtime I was stuck in a loop, with the aliens of depression running amok. Why should I go on when the world is such a shitty place, full of people who think of nothing but themselves, an economics profession that has spent the best part of fifty years devising theories as to why personal self-interest will lead to the best outcome for society? Why do I want to bring up my daughter in this world?
I am a strong minded person; I like to voice my opinions and I know how to separate my concerns from the world from my personal life (although this does not mean that I do not consider my impact on the environment and society when going about my life!). From somewhere within my mind a shining light started to appear.
I had started playing Debut by Bjork on my sound system. The thing I love about that album is that it is almost as if you are inviting Bjork into the room to share her music with you. I know that any good sound system is supposed to do that, but the production and content of Debut is such that it feels immensely personal. When ?€œVenus as a Child?€ came on, I found myself being lifted up, and a voice said ?€œYou want to stay in this world so that you can bring up your daughter; teach her what is right and what is wrong and live to enjoy life as she develops and blossoms into a beautiful, caring adult?€.
I should add that we have had one or two behavioural problems lately with my six year old daughter (which I won?€™t go into) and this had been playing on my mind somewhat and we had to agree how to deal with this issue. I think I had resolved that the disciplinarian approach I had been adopting needed to be tempered; of course, it is difficult to try and get to the bottom of what causes such behaviour with a young child, but she is on that threshold when she is able to better articulate problems.
Having thought this through, I figured I would vape some weed. This was about 4.5 to 5 after the initial Metocin ingestion. I had thought about doing some previous to this, but was worried that it might exacerbate the gloomy feelings. How wrong I was! I don?€™t know if resolving the question over my daughter had made a difference, or if I had been lacking the weed all along, but suddenly the floodgates were opened to the most utterly overwhelming waves of euphoria.
Normally I have a pretty set routine when tripping: depending on the substance I will always have some weed. For the 4subs, this is generally around the 1.25 hour mark. For other substances such as acid, I will usually wait until just after the peak; I would then follow with the Ketamine once I know the peak is winding down. I had abstained from weed so far on this trip for the reasons mentioned above, so perhaps this affected my mindset as well?
Whatever the reasons were, I finally reached a sort of Nirvana state; the body high was utterly euphoric, up there with some of the best experiences I have ever had. The visuals were breathtaking: the thing I love about taking ketamine is that it seems to loosed the eye-sockets; I?€™m not sure how to explain it, but it?€™s like a spanner has been taken to my eyeballs and my face above my eyes is suddenly free to twitch and allow me to completely immerse myself in visuals. Of course, weed often brings out the visual aspects of a substance (certainly for me anyway), but this was almost like the effects I should have been feeling hours ago had been bottled up and were pushing to get out, and now that the faucet had been opened the visual and body-high aspects of all the substances I had taken all come out at once. For almost 45 minutes I lay back and basked in this new found feeling of utter bliss, my eyes at times becoming almost completely detached from each other as the room moved rapidly from left to right. I was able to control this; if I wanted to I could switch back to normal, after which I could dive straight back in by looking at a single point for a few seconds. I took another hit of weed and continued the ride before slowly allowing it to subside.
It has been some time since I had a truly difficult trip, and I am not sure how I would have coped without my previous experiences. I did have some Xanax at hand just in case, but I never felt the need to reach for them. Clearly recent issues had been playing on my mind, and somehow the combination of substances dredged them up to be considered. I cannot say that I enjoyed the trip at all; I felt marginally better for thinking through the personal issues, but no real feeling of enlightenment ensued. Obviously the final part of the trip was marvellous, but it was not worth the earlier parts.
I am not at all sure that I like MXE. I have seen others post that they also struggled to see the purpose in their first few trials. However, what I have definitely noticed is the God-syndrome effect (such as I?€™ve read about with other dissociatives such as PCP). I really do not like this effect at all: I am not looking for a drug to make me feel like I can solve all the world?€™s problems and that I am superior to others which is what MXE is hinting at with the doses I have so far taken. Ketamine is a very different beast; it allows inner-exploration without making you feel like the master of the Universe.
There is also the after-effect of the substance. Some suggest that there is a pleasant afterglow that lasts for a few days (or longer) which makes it so much better; I have not discovered that. I have found that I am somewhat irritable and struggle to focus on tasks. I will probably experiment a bit further given that I have a fair quantity remaining. I will take it on its own to see if I am missing something and stick to using ketamine as my mixer for psychedelics.
Of course, there is the possibility that the substance in question is not MXE given the ongoing drought; I will order a test kit online to try and make sure.
What I will say is that this experience will not stop my explorations with psychedelics; going back to my opening line, every trip is different; the fact that this one was different in a dysphoric way does not mean that I have reached the end.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_4homet
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_ketamine
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
roacode_nasal
roacode_im
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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