• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

October Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Jack-o'-lanterns and drag queens

^ much appreciated VE!! I'll check out the Dr you mentioned. I've heard of hyperanalgesia. I'm sure it's real, it was for me anyway.

One question. How do you count your days, is there anything spelling it out. I started counting when the first WD symptom hit.
 
So far as I know, there is no "right" way to count your days. In fact, a lot of people think counting is counterproductive. My dumbass guess is that 12 step places consider your first full day 12:00-12:00 your first day - but that's not what I did. I started counting from my last dose. So I took my last dose on Monday (a week ago) at 5:00 p.m. So At 5:00 p.m. every day, that's my "next day."

So, right now I'm 52 minutes into my 9th day. I'm sure that is confusing because depending on the time I post, I could post the same day and be calling it two different days.

i say do whichever way works best for you and screw everyone else. The number is yours anyway, right?

- VE

edit - I wanted to add that my logic around starting at 5:00 p.m. Was sort of inspired by the Rational Recovery model - they are all about making the actual decision to quit. Which is ironic, because I think they are one of the groups that believe that counting is not good for you. Anyway, at 5:00 p.m. on Monday - *I* decided I was *done* with opiates for the next two decades of my life, at minimum. And that is when I began counting, when I was done. Not sure if that makes sense!
 
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VE, thanks so very much for your replies! It gives me hope for sure!

I'm hoping tonight is better, it seems my RLS is easing off a little. Insomnia, however is the "bitch" that ruins my life.
 
Hey Plum -

i hope you have turned a corner and are sleeping!

update us when you can. I really feel like you'll be feeling better soon!

- VE
 
I finally fell asleep for 3 hrs at around 9 am. Insomnia is killer and those damn tingles just keep coming.

This is enough to drive somebody mad!!!
 
Fuck me running!!! I finally got out today, just no way to avoid it, and I'm in such pain!!!

Fuck this, fuck that!! I want an oxy!!
 
Well don't you go take one VE!! You're seemingly doing so much better than me.

I'm just a pisser and a complainer! But yeah today was a huge wake up call, I'm not nearly as good as I hoped I was!!
 
Hey Plumgirl: Look at you all clean off the opiates... you are amazing! You just did it... that experience of getting pissed off at your doctor, was it, really lit a fire under you!
The worse is past you... don't look back - don't even think of using... you and VE are such great BL'ers!
 
Hey Plumgirl: Look at you all clean off the opiates... you are amazing! You just did it... that experience of getting pissed off at your doctor, was it, really lit a fire under you!
The worse is past you... don't look back - don't even think of using... you and VE are such great BL'ers!

Mama, you touched my heart! I'm by no means great but I appreciate your kind words!!

There were so many things I had to do today, not much time to relax and I've had SO little sleep. I'm in desperate pain right now but I'm not going to use any pain meds. I don't have any so there's no chance of that!

Yes, that ridiculous Dr finally pushed me over the edge, no more opiates for me.

VE, please update me!! I hope you're on day 10 now!!! You've been so instrumental in helping me and I'm praying you are ok!!!!!
 
Oh I forgot to add, I have a brand new baby niece born yesterday!! Got to meet her today, she was precious!
 
Well don't you go take one VE!!

Oh I won't be taking one - I meant it more as a joke. You know, while we are saying fuck today, and fuck being sick, and fuck it all!!!! - we should be saying Including the opiates cause they got us here!

Congrats on the niece! I've got a few of my own and they have my heart. I'll always be there for them! Don't let time go by - take that baby from you sister as often as you can! Build a relationship and bond with them when they are little so you guys have each other and a strong relationship. After all, who else is going to get them birth control when they are teens - my sis is realllllly religious and she would never encourage sex by giving out condoms!?!? 8)

Anyway i digress. Plum - have you seen my thread? I don't know how to link it....but it's labeled a recovery journal. That's the best place for updates. But I'm doing so-so. My thread is usually near the top cause I've basically compulsively posted for the last ten days.

- VE
 
Well another midnight has gone by and still tingling all down my arm and leg. This is right sided only so I'm really beginning to think this is truly due to nerve damage!!!

How utterly depressing! I'm devastated and so demoralized!

How could I make it 7 days through CT WDS just to end up in this position?
 
I've got two weeks now, doing better then I was at 3 months as I'm determined to learn from my mistake and work on recovery twice as hard.

I pray all throughout the day, daily contact with people from Church and AA, church once a week, Bible study once a week, 2-3 meetings, watch games with my dad Sunday and usually one other time in the week, no talking to addicts, avoid triggering myself (browsing RC sites etc) working out a ton just going all in.

I laid off what I was doing last time in recovery, I wasn't doing enough but when I stopped that opened the door for the devil to play his tricks and he got me. This last run was the worst I've had, crushing guilt suicidal depression. I think now that I've tasted recovery it would be impossible for me to enjoy drugs again, and I'm at the point in my progression where I use I'm gambling with my life.

I was pouring piles of powder (dope and 3-meo-pcp) on a plate to numb the pain, thinking this might kill me, railing it anyway, and still being stuck in my own misery. The party was over years ago, time to start living life.
 
Well after posting my midnight post about rls, somehow I got comfortable and FELL ASLEEP for 10 hrs!!! What a reluef.

All my worries have faded! I mean what a relief to know I might be ok after all!!!

Next step is getting my energy and stamina back. After practically 5 years of opiates I wasn't that active. I just did what I had to do, no more. I'm really ready to get up and going again.
 
I've got two weeks now, doing better then I was at 3 months as I'm determined to learn from my mistake and work on recovery twice as hard.

I pray all throughout the day, daily contact with people from Church and AA, church once a week, Bible study once a week, 2-3 meetings, watch games with my dad Sunday and usually one other time in the week, no talking to addicts, avoid triggering myself (browsing RC sites etc) working out a ton just going all in.

I laid off what I was doing last time in recovery, I wasn't doing enough but when I stopped that opened the door for the devil to play his tricks and he got me. This last run was the worst I've had, crushing guilt suicidal depression. I think now that I've tasted recovery it would be impossible for me to enjoy drugs again, and I'm at the point in my progression where I use I'm gambling with my life.

I was pouring piles of powder (dope and 3-meo-pcp) on a plate to numb the pain, thinking this might kill me, railing it anyway, and still being stuck in my own misery. The party was over years ago, time to start living life.

Good job on your 2 weeks! Glad you're "all in" for your recovery this time! Keep up the good work!
 
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