Cheers Jackal, I promised I would keep the self pity to a minimum when I got this role and in relative terms, I have (I lost my shit back in the autumn when I got assaulted and made a couple of whiny posts over Christmas re. my mothers behaviour but apart from that I have kept my personal strifes of the board) but I have had a really difficult couple of weeks with some personal shit which led to that selfish post. Although I thought this kind of rubbish from me was an exception as opposed to the rule since this time last year, I was not aware of the damage I have caused in terms of EADD traffic and if that is the case then Spacejunk or Ali probably need to take an objective look at whether or not I should hold a mod position. Most of the time I keep my whining to myself but when it does leak out, unfortunately it is you guys that suffer as Bluelight is my only social outlet, online or IRL. If that is damaging the board then I need to personally consider my position as well.
Oh man. Stee - please believe me, you're a great mod and you've done nothing wrong at all.
First things first, you are
way too hard on yourself - the drop in traffic in EADD has
nothing to do with anything you have or haven't done.
Really!
I don't know how to reassure you that you're not responsible for EADD being so quiet, but i could write a lengthy list of theories why the forum has gone quiet of late - not least of which are social media, the UK NPS ban, no major large-scale droughts or new drugs around to get more people actively posting or prompting new members to register and get to know the community here.
There have also been a few dramas and the tragic deaths of too many muched loved members.
As some folks said in AusDD said a couple of years ago, people come for the HR, but stick around for the community.
The community is going through some changes at the moment - and it's tough to witness, but i i don't want you to think it is your fault.
It isn't - not at all. Bluelight has been around for a long time, and message boards like vBulletin are not as popular as they used to be - it's not just bluelight. Social media is all-pervasive, and i think it is one of the biggest factors here.
The thing about admitting you're struggling is that if you feel like saying it, you probably should, whether you're a mod or not.
Don't bottle things up mate. that's no good for you.
It's really horrible when people say scary things about doing something reckless or self-destructive. But it happens.
I don't think you or anyone else should feel discouraged from expressing whatever you want to on bluelight - we're all here for each other, and it might not be pleasant reading when people are worried that someone is at risk (or missing from the site) but i think supporting one another when we're down or struggling is an important part of what we do here - the aspect of harm reduction that community provides - friendship, interaction, camraderie, support etc etc
You're a great mod stee.
I know i've said so before - and i'm generally speaking, i can be pretty blunt; i wouldn't say that if i didn't mean it. Couldn't really fault you on anything mate.
Be kind to yourself
