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September Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Newspaper Carriers and Tardiness

Three days without benzos and tomorrow I'll finally get the day when I start ORT.
 
Awesome !! You'll feel so much better on ort. Now that I have myself on methadone and cut back my benzos I notice I get less anexity(you were right Moreaux:))
Some nights when I get flashbacks and can't calm myself I take .5 of clonazepam
Ever try the grounding technique when you get thoughts of Afghanistan ? I thought my counciler was just a hippy loon but that shit works
 
I didn't havd the english term for grounding techniques but yes I use one which we were taught during our training. It basically consists of stopping around and feeling our surroundings and then getting back to the job at hand. It is intended for being in a battlefield or behind lines but I have refined it to work in a civilian setting. I posted something about it before knowing there are a lot of same kind of techniques.
 
Awesome !! You'll feel so much better on ort. Now that I have myself on methadone and cut back my benzos I notice I get less anexity(you were right Moreaux:))
Some nights when I get flashbacks and can't calm myself I take .5 of clonazepam
Ever try the grounding technique when you get thoughts of Afghanistan ? I thought my counciler was just a hippy loon but that shit works


Really glad to hear your anxiety is diminishing - it's so difficult to live with. I still have terrible axiety at times and do miss the effectiveness of Xanax during those times. I have Indural (propranolol) for emergencies and it helps bring the anxiety down a few levels and stops the adrenaline response piece of anxiety, but it doesn't make me feel peaceful like benzos did. Grounding techniques are excellent for anxiety.

Regarding benzos, I think they work great when not taken everyday for long periods of time. I could never break up my use and took Xanax multiple times throughout the day for ten years and between the short half life and the rebound anxiety I couldn't do it any more. I do know of some people who take klonopin a couple of times a week and have done so for a number of years who don't experience the worsening of anxiety but I suspect it's because they are giving themselves breaks. In hindsight I wish I would have done that but when I started Xanax I knew nothing about it and the script said take as needed...it felt amazing so it quickly became an everyday need.

@MrRoot - Kudos on your three days! Do you have an action plan for how you're going to deal with anxiety? Feel free to message me if you hit any rough patches as I learned quite a bit stopping Xanax cold turkey from a ten year run ;)

Getting Sober For September: I'm still trying desparately to quit smoking...I have been doing this off and on for the last couple of years but this is the end of line. A few weeks ago I started Wellbutrin and feel miserable, it's so speedy I'm averaging 3 hours of sleep a night, though I'm accomplishing many projects I've wanted to tackle around the house. Today I have put nicotine patches on, and today is day one smoke free. I wish I would have quit in rehab a few years ago but was so bored smoking became a main activity. I have managed to quit twice for a week or so each time, but my husband smokes and for some reason I thought I could have "just one". Will not make that mistake again. Cigarettes are similar to booze for me, can't just have one; if I have one then I need all of them :/

I guess I'll start a kratom taper as well. I started kratom back up after I had surgery and have been taking it off and on since. Kratom is so much safer for my recovery than pain pills. I just ordered some so I will calculate my use and devise daily portions and then a taper. I truly wish I could preserve a stash indefinitely for medical needs should I ever need pain meds but I've read that even air tight and frozen it still degrades over time.

I sincerely hope legislation changes and they don't go through with the ban...this is going to hurt some many addicts and people who use it for chronic pain. Such a sad state of affairs :(

Happy September 1 everybody - man this year is just flying by...where does the time go?
 
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Three days without benzos and tomorrow I'll finally get the day when I start ORT.

Root -

good luck!!! I will be sending my good vibes your way for sure. I so look forward to you checking in when you get back and hearing all about it!

Ive had a...roadblock we will call it, which might set my quit date back, but for now it is scheduled for September 17th - so if all goes as planned, I will be through my acute phase before you even get back.

Ill "see" you when you get back!

- VE
 
What are your plans for the beginning of the fall? %)

Stay safe!

.
hi Toothpastedog, I just saw your post on August getting sober. My wedding is small, 34 people with 95% of guest all family. We're doing a destination wedding, which keeps it small. The list could have been 100 plus people but that is not Cesar and I. You weren't t getting too personal, I am a pretty open person.
 
Nice my friend! I hope you have a wonderful wedding! Is it gonna be in state? Totally jealous :) or should I say, envious ;)
 
So I relapsed after almost a year or whatever I have . Lost everything besides my car and job. On the verge of just giving up . I can keep trying anymore. I think I am ready to go face that I can't live life without getting high. Sucks cuz I had everything I wanted while sober. Glad everyone is still sober . Captain. Erikmen NSA it's amazing to me keep it up . I hope to one day awake to the sober life soon.
 
So I relapsed after almost a year or whatever I have . Lost everything besides my car and job. On the verge of just giving up . I can keep trying anymore. I think I am ready to go face that I can't live life without getting high. Sucks cuz I had everything I wanted while sober. Glad everyone is still sober . Captain. Erikmen NSA it's amazing to me keep it up . I hope to one day awake to the sober life soon.
Just saying that is a huge step! I noticed you mentioned some awesome members that always have something to say.
 
ORT is opioid replacement therapy (methadone or buprenorphine in most countries, though it includes heroin and hydromorphone replacement therapies as well in more enlightened places).
 
So I relapsed after almost a year or whatever I have . Lost everything besides my car and job. On the verge of just giving up . I can keep trying anymore. I think I am ready to go face that I can't live life without getting high. Sucks cuz I had everything I wanted while sober. Glad everyone is still sober . Captain. Erikmen NSA it's amazing to me keep it up . I hope to one day awake to the sober life soon.

Never give up the fight man, you still have a job and a car. :)

That's a lot more than many of us have when we decide to get clean. <3

Can I ask though, what happened? How did you get back into using? What triggered you?
 
So I relapsed after almost a year or whatever I have . Lost everything besides my car and job. On the verge of just giving up . I can keep trying anymore. I think I am ready to go face that I can't live life without getting high. Sucks cuz I had everything I wanted while sober. Glad everyone is still sober . Captain. Erikmen NSA it's amazing to me keep it up . I hope to one day awake to the sober life soon.

Start over totach!!
It's never too late and you'll get all back in due time.

I have relapsed more than a dozen times and I know you feel this is the worst but just take small steps back to where you want to be.
Remember always that you can do whatever you set your mind to! You can do this!!
We are here for you, don't give up.
Take care, and keep us posted alright?
E.
 
Totach: so sorry to hear that you are so bummed about your relapse, but kudos for your honesty and for checking in here at BL. You still have that year or so of recovery... no one can take that experience and clean time away from you, ever... I am still f&@ing around trying to taper, so would gladly take that year of clean and sober time!

Please stick around here... you did so well, and your posts of early recovery were so descriptive and inspiring to me. As CH said: you still have your job and car... that is huge!! Please don't give up and just get that 1st day again (who knows, you may have it already).
 
Thanks for all the support all of you.
It made me smile that you all remember me and all had such encouraging words. Thank you for that. I did so fucking good for so long and then just fucked it all up. When I got clean at first I had a shit job that paid shit and I was not used to that. I stayed clean the whole 3 months. Then I quit and started working another job that a friend got for me. I closed my first deal very quick and made a a nice amount of money.
I was happy got a brand new car bought new clothes I did not spend a penny on drugs and only relapsed once I spent all the money. I also am a gambler and had a lot of highs and lows thru out the 3 or 4 months that I spent all the money. I put a certain amount in escrow to pay for the car so I do not have to make another payment for alittle while longer. Thru out the gambling I never got high.
One day I decided to reach out to a old friend just cuz I was bored and to be honest was dying being single and wanted to hangout with a woman. She has a history of using but was clean . So I started going to her every time I would feel I need "stress relief" and one day she told me she had a bunch of perks. At first I passed but eventually like two weeks later I asked her if she had any left. And that was my first taste.
I hid it from everyone at first l was very disappointed at myself. Deep inside I knew the second I popped that first perk I was fucked. It did not happen over night but I knew it was coming. 3 months later my little brother found me overdosed on iv heroin on the bathroom floor. That is something a 16 year old and mother should never see. I am lucky that he even needed to use the bathroom or I most likely would have died.
I still was not everyday at this point and only my family knew not my friends. I hid it alittle longer from my friends and eventually I knew the day will come where it all blows up and I'm screwed. My friend swore that if I relapse she will tell my boss I get high and that would not be good.
I tried to answere your ? Captain as best I can you all know my grammar is terrible not first language .
Last night for the first night of 0 sleep in a long time . it was a pretty long run and before that I was clean so slept ok. And fuck I really don't feel like I could do this again I really don't. I feel so lost depressed and I usually never say that but I feel like shit. I am 30 had to move back home when shit was bad when I got clean and was stupid with my money and instead of getting an apt I gambled most of it away. I do have deals in the pipelines so hopefully I will be seeing some good money soon.
I was thinking maybe trying Ibogaine again . Or im really gonna try to start seriously dating and have a family. I really want all that. I am going to try again as much as I'm scared but I gotta do it.
I'm gonna stop rambling now thanx again everyone.
 
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Just decided I'm gonna do it I am going to try again please God for the last time. You guys were my only support when I got clean . I need to utilize all your knowledge and inspiration more. I will work on reaching out more when I'm in trouble. Really don't look forward to another sleepless night that's for sure. I'm even constantly blazing thru out the whole night and still nothing not a wink.
 
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