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September Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Newspaper Carriers and Tardiness

Bluelight can be full of support and full of triggers, Dil4. You are doing great and you need to focus on how far you have come. Every time your brain throws up an image of the "warm fuzzies" shout back that it seems to be forgetting about the feelings of being enslaved to a drug while your life slipped by over to the side of you. That is presumably what led you to do all the hard work you have been doing. Those cravings are your addiction's dying gasps and they can pack a punch but you can outlast them.<3
 
Blackblood said:
That's amazing, don't throw that away, people like you is what gives me hope and motivation like to keep going even when everything seems to be pointing a different direction
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Captain.Heroin said:
congrats on your 13 months!!! :)
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herbavore said:
Bluelight can be full of support and full of triggers, Dil4. You are doing great and you need to focus on how far you have come. Every time your brain throws up an image of the "warm fuzzies" shout back that it seems to be forgetting about the feelings of being enslaved to a drug while your life slipped by over to the side of you. That is presumably what led you to do all the hard work you have been doing. Those cravings are your addiction's dying gasps and they can pack a punch but you can outlast them.<3
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Thank you everyone for the kind words. It is so appreciated you don't even know. I know I will be fine it's just sometimes nice to write it out for someone other than myself because I hate having had to do everything alone.

You guys are the best, and please know that I wish all the same warm feelings to all of you.

Today was better, but I'm still battling those demons I thought were long gone. I now know this battle will be with me for life, but I won't let them win.

It's the anhedonia that is the worst. I still have a difficult time finding things enjoyable without opiates, but my life is well enough in order that most days I can still find ways to enjoy time with my family, but it never really leaves you that you would be enjoying it more with the ops. When I am alone it's the worst.

Thank you again. Wishing everyone all the best in whatever personal addiction struggles each and every one of you are battling. You are not alone, and someone is thinking of you and rooting like hell for you to prevail. Myself included. Nobody deserves this life, the ball and chain of being tied to a chemical formulation of fake pleasure.

So much love.

Love
-D
 
Got a hold of some Norco today seemingly to just fuck with myself and I'm stuck on the fence again , I feel like I'll get rid of them though, it's like in lord of the rings how frodo is with the one ring trying to throw it in the lava but just can't until his finger gets bit off . He was better off without it ...
 
Blackblood said:
Got a hold of some Norco today seemingly to just fuck with myself and I'm stuck on the fence again , I feel like I'll get rid of them though, it's like in lord of the rings how frodo is with the one ring trying to throw it in the lava but just can't until his finger gets bit off . He was better off without it ...
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Try to get rid of them, can you?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
You can find a family member who can hold onto them indefinitely (and would only give them out in the case of severe pain).
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i have thought about that. If I wanted them out of my home, is there a wY to get them defective and be able to toss them. I won't flush them b/c I know that is dangerous too. I'm thinking I made a bad choice by filling the script. Lesson learned. I can give them to my fiancé, he's a tough cookie. He wouldn't give me them unless I was in severe pain. That could cut loose another can of worms . Live and we learn . Thank you for responding :)
 
Dodger Guy LA said:
i have thought about that. If I wanted them out of my home, is there a wY to get them defective and be able to toss them. I won't flush them b/c I know that is dangerous too. I'm thinking I made a bad choice by filling the script. Lesson learned. I can give them to my fiancé, he's a tough cookie. He wouldn't give me them unless I was in severe pain. That could cut loose another can of worms . Live and we learn . Thank you for responding :)
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There are some pharmacies that will accept 'expired medication', and you should be able to leave it there.

Thank you for not flushing them; it does go on to poison fish, water, and the wildlife in general.

Give them to your fiancee. Best idea!
 
Captain.Heroin said:
There are some pharmacies that will accept 'expired medication', and you should be able to leave it there.

Thank you for not flushing them; it does go on to poison fish, water, and the wildlife in general.

Give them to your fiancee. Best idea!
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That is exactly why I didn't flush them. I didn't want to go on polluting our water supply.
Thanks for your ideas and time. One moment at a time right now...
 
Dodger Guy LA said:
That is exactly why I didn't flush them. I didn't want to go on polluting our water supply.
Thanks for your ideas and time. One moment at a time right now...
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Of course. :)

You could give your fiancee some of the pills, so that if you end up using, you can't go through all of them.
 
Day 1 with no cigarettes down. Fingers crossed tomorrow will be just as successful. Going to bed early tonight, been craving nicotine for the last two hours. Hope everyone else is doing well!
 
Moreaux said:
Day 1 with no cigarettes down. Fingers crossed tomorrow will be just as successful. Going to bed early tonight, been craving nicotine for the last two hours. Hope everyone else is doing well!
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!!! Congrats !!!

:D

I have no predilection for them, but I hate smoking tobacco use in other people and I'm SO Proud of you!!!!!! :D
 
Captain.Heroin said:
!!! Congrats !!!

:D

I have no predilection for them, but I hate smoking tobacco use in other people and I'm SO Proud of you!!!!!! :D
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Thank you :) Day two is down. I can't believe how quickly my lungs start feeling better. Also, I can't believe how disgusting the interior of the cars smell - woof, going to have to get those cleaned this week. Absolutely nauseating. So glad I have never allowed smoking in the house.

Not going to post daily over cigarettes, will probably hit the monthly sobriety thread up again when I start getting off the patch. The first few days of no cigarettes and the first few days of no Nicoderm are tough for me.
 
Moreaux said:
Thank you :) Day two is down. I can't believe how quickly my lungs start feeling better. Also, I can't believe how disgusting the interior of the cars smell - woof, going to have to get those cleaned this week. Absolutely nauseating. So glad I have never allowed smoking in the house.

Not going to post daily over cigarettes, will probably hit the monthly sobriety thread up again when I start getting off the patch. The first few days of no cigarettes and the first few days of no Nicoderm are tough for me.
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Good luck getting tobacco smoke smell out of fabric, if smoked in for an extensive amount of time it can be downright impossible!
 
I woke up in moderate/severe pain, and with an upset stomach.

And it's going to be 102 degrees outside today. Of course it is. :|

Tomorrow marks my 23 months. Struggling today. :(
 
103 where I'm at. Finishing laundry early and staying in doors! What sucks is at 2 pm I have to close the entire apartment up because all windows face west. I like them open. Where is fall?
 
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