I still cannot believe Bardeaux died. This is sitting very heavily with me, and burdens my heart. We will meet again one day, metaphysically or otherwise; we shall exchange ideas and experiences somewhere in the cosmos.
You tried to reach out to me, but I disagreed with your logic at the time, so I never responded. I've lost so many this passed year in my actual life, and even though I never knew you, I feel that I missed out. I cheated myself by not responding to you, and for that I am eternally sorry.
my deepest regret with John is that we didn't collab musically. we were so close this summer. he did Vox & Guitar (I loved his shit), but he could only send me rough rough copies of it (not to a click track for my drums - essentially it wasn't fancy enough for me)
its funny jim, one of my fondest memories was how much we shared our love of music. playing guitar with john was amazing. i remember the first time i got to st pete and went to his residence (for lack of a better word), he excitedly flung himself on his bed, picked up his guitar and just started playing away. im so pissy we never recorded anything together as when we played together it was the most beautiful sound you'd ever hear. one of our anniversaries was coming up and he asked what i wanted for a gift, and i said "i know this is impossible, but i want you to play me "rain song" by led zeppelin". he went out, purchased a capo, retuned the fuck out of his guitar and sat there day and night until he learned every single note. it took him weeks. it was the most beautiful thing ever
He was my very best friend for the last 10 years. I owe my life to him, he has gotten me through so much and now i have no idea who the fuck im supposed to turn to..my biggest regret in life is that I never fucking got to meet him in person and now I never will. He told me earlier this year that he wasnt going to make it to 2017, but things seemed to have been turning around for him what with his writing and music and he literally was just talking to me about his goals for college and we were talking about our futures and now im just so lost without him. he was the best person I ever knew, he was my favorite person. I love you, johnnyboy R.I.P