-
Bluelight
Shrine
A memorial
to Bluelighters
who have passed away
rest in peace bardeaux
- Thread starter Owl Eyed
- Start date
dopemaster
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2013
- Messages
- 6,378
If I had a tattoo for every dead friend I woulnd't have any bare skin left. I think we need an emergency discussion about these fent analogs. I know alot about them and volunteer at least two hours today and I can type up everything I know about how to detect it the signs.
I don't mind flagging cities anonymously through a senior mod or one I know well in my neck of the woods. I know where the people in my state are dying because it is pretty damn close to home. I also know the narcan people here. If it saves one person here, its worth it to me.
I survived this new strain that is going around so I know a bit about it and about the point where you are gonna know it is cut. If it is cut even sniffing it is a risk cuz it wasn't a shot that took me down this time, just a hot spot in a toot. But I am up for a quite few felonies atm so its gonna have to be sent encrypted.
If it isn't my place I do apologize. I am just pissed seeing people I knew irl pass and get on here and see the same shit going down. I personally think the situation is going to escalate so I want to do something if I can.
Bomboclat
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2008
- Messages
- 28,224
the worst thing about this is that a beautiful mind was completely fucking wasted
RIP man. I shoulda said something. done something. I told you what was up though you stupid bitch
I wouldn't say that axl. Bardo brought a lot of love and insightful thoughts to this board and many of its members. He was, is, a good guy. It's hard to ever quantify the idea of living
Up to ones own potential, but I wouldn't say his mind, time, or love was wasted. I'm sure many blers can agree.
ghostandthedarknes
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2013
- Messages
- 29,649
thought this thread was bullshit, should know better by now. sometimes i hate tl.
axl blaze
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2004
- Messages
- 31,420
I agree man. honestly I hate to say it but I am not in the best spot right now with Fluffy and this
it has me quite broken-heartedI just hope that when he died there is a God and Heaven and his fucking Atheist ass got flummoxed back on his ass, when he died
Droppersneck
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2010
- Messages
- 31,009
God fucking dammit. My last interaction with him was lecturing him via text about the slippery slope. I can't even right now
Pill2Chill
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2012
- Messages
- 5,509
Wow, it wasn't more than a few days ago that I had a nice and long conversation with him. I would never have seen this coming. I'm gonna miss you buddy!
xstayfadedx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2011
- Messages
- 20,566
Damn.... rip
Pill2Chill
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2012
- Messages
- 5,509
Beautiful pics Jaide. I'm sorry for your loss as you knew him better than most of us did. And even I, who pretty much only knew him from the tinychat, am gonna miss John for sure.
R.I.P. Again.
R.I.P. Again.
Droppersneck
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2010
- Messages
- 31,009
Man now who am I gonna get in civil political debates with. He seemed like after he broke his shoulder he was gonna make the real try to get straight. This is so lame he was a genuinely smart/ good dude that always seemed like he had his shit together even when he didn't.
Felonious Monk
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2013
- Messages
- 4,596
What in the actual fuck! I'm so sorry kyt. I enjoyed the few times I got to interact with him in politics, very smart dude, reminded me of myself RIP
dopemaster
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2013
- Messages
- 6,378
I do remember he would get on tinychat and he wouldn't want the session to ever end.
I really dug what he had to say because he was so fucking gifted intellectually and blessed with the virtue of compassion.
I lost 3 friends in the last year irl and these were people I was very close too.
I try to get the most out of every single day now because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.
I really dug what he had to say because he was so fucking gifted intellectually and blessed with the virtue of compassion.
I lost 3 friends in the last year irl and these were people I was very close too.
I try to get the most out of every single day now because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.
kytnism
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2003
- Messages
- 14,603
i wanted to post moar but they contained our parents with us etc. and want to respectfully retain their privacy. I'm still totally struggling for words and in that horrible state of numbing shock. speaking with johns parents, oh gosh. i can't believe my best friend and first true love is gone?
i feel like i have to say something to you all as for the past seven years you all have been a huge part of our lives and then when we separated; our solo lives. john was an amazing man. it wasn't a huge argument or even an ugly separation between us, once he had returned to the USA for the final time he asked me to marry him and i said no. its not because i didn't want to, i just knew we were both so sick and tired of living between the two countries and fighting the odds to be together and that we needed it to end. so i ended it.
the past six months we had been in intimate personal contact as he was really struggling with addiction. it killed me. i even told him i felt partially responsible as it was our final separation that seemed to trigger him to self destruct and he assured me that while yes it killed him too, he was responsible for his actions. we spoke about so many things and I'm so grateful to have had that opportunity, and I'm also so glad that he got to meet his half sister as i knew it was something he'd always wanted to do.
john was truly a free spirit, and heres something bluelight wouldn't have known. he wasn't meant for this world. he wasn't just a communist by belief, he genuinely couldn't understand why he was forced to go to school, then should have had a full time job, gone to college and spent his lifetime paying for it. he always questioned why he was supposed to conform to a system that he thought was ridiculous. he always said he was going to break free of the system before he had to resign to it and be imprisoned by it. he went through a plethora of part time jobs and when he had had enough of one, he simply didn't arrive to the next shift and instead sat at home reading, writing and researching and compiling data on topics of interest to him. this frustrated me to no end as he was so intelligent and i always questioned why are you selling yourself short? when in reality i admired his tenacity in constantly saying no to conforming. he stayed true to his word to the bitter end. he had a bunch of student loans and used school as a way to further bide time and increase his knowledge on people, the environment and life; but both he and i knew (because we spoke about it alot) that the government was never going to see a penny of that money back and that he was simply enjoying and giggling at the prospect of having a free ride at THEIR expense.
regardless of what anyone says or rumor has it, john was not a tragic drug addict. he had vices that he used to cope and find an escape from the anxiety of living within a society he peacefully resented. he had never even seen or toyed with the idea of heroin or fentanyl during our union. it was only when migrating home to his family that had returned to michigan that he considered the notion (being surrounded by it). he always had a propensity towards opiates of the gentle kind. he was a control freak. he loved psychedelics and weed but hated their negative effects over his mind and yearned to just feel peaceful, and found that equilibrium in opiates. he could be in control of how inituative and introverted he was without completely cutting himself off from humanity. even where drug deals were concerned he'd rather privately order something online than deal with people and potential dangers. he didn't like dealing with negative situations or people, he simply wanted to get what he wanted and to feel what he wanted hassle free and without bothering anyone.
if its any consolation to anyone john knew exactly what he was doing. he never planned on living a long life and doing things the way others did. he wanted to endulge in what he wanted to, learn about human existence and things relevant to his personal interests then politely bow his hat, say "thanks for the experience" and leave.
again, I'm so sorry to everyone he loved. i sincerely meant it when i say he loved you guys and the happiness/oneness you all bought to him. bluelight was the one place he felt he could truly be himself and connect with like minded people. we spoke about you all alot when living together and if any of you was going through anything he'd be the first to reach out and make sure noone was feeling alone.
I'm still in disbelief and am scared when reality sets in and i have to face the fact that my best friend, and your friend is no longer with us.
rest in peace babe. you beat them all.
...kytnism...
i feel like i have to say something to you all as for the past seven years you all have been a huge part of our lives and then when we separated; our solo lives. john was an amazing man. it wasn't a huge argument or even an ugly separation between us, once he had returned to the USA for the final time he asked me to marry him and i said no. its not because i didn't want to, i just knew we were both so sick and tired of living between the two countries and fighting the odds to be together and that we needed it to end. so i ended it.
the past six months we had been in intimate personal contact as he was really struggling with addiction. it killed me. i even told him i felt partially responsible as it was our final separation that seemed to trigger him to self destruct and he assured me that while yes it killed him too, he was responsible for his actions. we spoke about so many things and I'm so grateful to have had that opportunity, and I'm also so glad that he got to meet his half sister as i knew it was something he'd always wanted to do.
john was truly a free spirit, and heres something bluelight wouldn't have known. he wasn't meant for this world. he wasn't just a communist by belief, he genuinely couldn't understand why he was forced to go to school, then should have had a full time job, gone to college and spent his lifetime paying for it. he always questioned why he was supposed to conform to a system that he thought was ridiculous. he always said he was going to break free of the system before he had to resign to it and be imprisoned by it. he went through a plethora of part time jobs and when he had had enough of one, he simply didn't arrive to the next shift and instead sat at home reading, writing and researching and compiling data on topics of interest to him. this frustrated me to no end as he was so intelligent and i always questioned why are you selling yourself short? when in reality i admired his tenacity in constantly saying no to conforming. he stayed true to his word to the bitter end. he had a bunch of student loans and used school as a way to further bide time and increase his knowledge on people, the environment and life; but both he and i knew (because we spoke about it alot) that the government was never going to see a penny of that money back and that he was simply enjoying and giggling at the prospect of having a free ride at THEIR expense.
regardless of what anyone says or rumor has it, john was not a tragic drug addict. he had vices that he used to cope and find an escape from the anxiety of living within a society he peacefully resented. he had never even seen or toyed with the idea of heroin or fentanyl during our union. it was only when migrating home to his family that had returned to michigan that he considered the notion (being surrounded by it). he always had a propensity towards opiates of the gentle kind. he was a control freak. he loved psychedelics and weed but hated their negative effects over his mind and yearned to just feel peaceful, and found that equilibrium in opiates. he could be in control of how inituative and introverted he was without completely cutting himself off from humanity. even where drug deals were concerned he'd rather privately order something online than deal with people and potential dangers. he didn't like dealing with negative situations or people, he simply wanted to get what he wanted and to feel what he wanted hassle free and without bothering anyone.
if its any consolation to anyone john knew exactly what he was doing. he never planned on living a long life and doing things the way others did. he wanted to endulge in what he wanted to, learn about human existence and things relevant to his personal interests then politely bow his hat, say "thanks for the experience" and leave.
again, I'm so sorry to everyone he loved. i sincerely meant it when i say he loved you guys and the happiness/oneness you all bought to him. bluelight was the one place he felt he could truly be himself and connect with like minded people. we spoke about you all alot when living together and if any of you was going through anything he'd be the first to reach out and make sure noone was feeling alone.
I'm still in disbelief and am scared when reality sets in and i have to face the fact that my best friend, and your friend is no longer with us.
rest in peace babe. you beat them all.
...kytnism...
Droppersneck
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2010
- Messages
- 31,009
How do u know pharcey? I literally texted him Sunday
Pharcyde
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2003
- Messages
- 49,956
Nigga pls.