Sir Ron Pib
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2012
- Messages
- 643
I used to utilize harmalas to get some proper clout out of mushrooms but had also tried moclobemide as the MAOI, and although it had an extremely different nature to the harmala combo, which I will cover a little below, we had one very special trip on the combination in the beautiful grounds of a stately home (arguably one of our best mushroom experiences in fact) ?€“ mostly in the Japanese garden. Years down the line I chose to try the combo again; 150mg moclobemide followed by about 100 mushrooms at 1 hr.
This time I felt I made a mistake; there are two historical facts here; I used tons of mushrooms when younger and often to some very good effect, enjoyment and learning, but for a good deal of that twenty plus years they left me somehow wanting more; they couldn?€™t hold a candle to (my main favourite) the diamond-like LSD and were often "stupefying, muddy, chaotic, emotionally unstable." to quote someone else, and they rarely broke through to anything of major value. They seemed, to be a bit perhaps a little unfair, a hey-nonny folk psychedelic, often fairytale like. Beyond the early visionary stage I don?€™t find the overall feel of them pleasant and the capricious nature has on many occasions produced extreme agitation and schizzy personality change. I have had bouts of ranting aggression on mushrooms which have been frightening. Apart from that I often came out feeling short changed and sometimes a kind of dislike of them and at times felt like they had a personal vendetta against me ?€“ the psilocybin experience seemed in someway contrived and not entirely convincing, but I related totally to them as conscious entities on this paranoid level. I have also collapsed in a heap in a total black out from them early on much to my peers?€™ distress.
When I started upping the doses with harmaline/harmine it seemed to help the experience along a lot (since on some level the experience generally fell short in terms of intensity) but although the flavour and drive was different and improved they were still dark and played tricks, till finally pushing it on a huge dose on top of the MAOIs I hit an awful double bind bad trip worse than any of the other psilocybin double binds I?€™d hit and I went down in flames.
I had a nervous breakdown. I was ill for quite a while; I wouldn?€™t lay this all at the mushrooms?€™ door but it was the major milestone in my descent. I really don?€™t remember much, but was hell to live with. I developed and started to take to ?€˜logical?€™ conclusion some bizarre nihilistic views of the structure of reality which condemned me to a desolate, hopeless and painful existence. I went back on various antidepressants for years to come. I stopped tripping completely, carried on compulsively smoking simply huge amounts of dope and took regular opium and had regular meltdowns.
Nearly a decade on my long-suffering girlfriend said ?€˜you never told me what happened on that trip.?€™
Years later I came off the useless meds and started experimenting with various psychedelics once more and, as before, found that much more therapeutic, life affirming and all round useful than the standard meds.
I even ventured back cautiously for a few more mushroom trips; such a major psychedelic I didn?€™t want to leave on a bad note, I worked up relatively slowly; the trips were quite good and an attempt to make peace with them, but I still didn?€™t like them or value them as I did other compounds and I had sort of come to the point where I thought once again I will give up on them ?€“ face facts; they just don?€™t quite work for me.
The other historic fact was the meds themselves?€“ I had been through lots of antidepressant medications in my life and hated them; they stopped you feeling; a grey nothingness, precluding genuine emotions whilst still allowing some of the bad feeling; in fact they felt bad in and of themselves ?€“ always noticeable in the body even after the first few weeks when side effects were meant to stop being felt; in the stomach, the nerves and the psyche they were glowering away with a uneasy closeted there-ness; a not yourself-ness, a locked in a box away from the world-ness. I fucking hated antidepressants with a vengeance.
So here I was feeling that grey psychiatric dulled out haze again, that ?€˜we?€™re in your whole system?€™ again with no proper up or down, just the dirge and whoopie those dark tricky negative mushrooms are coming on. Why the fuck did I ever think this was a good idea?
It is possible the greyness I could have sat out, or maybe the psilocybin separately , but together they felt awful. How much was just the mushrooms I am not sure; they tend toward a shambolic drunkenness, enervation and disagreeable fatigue anyway and mentally they undo me. Rereading this it had pretty regular hallmarks of psilocybin.
Moclobemide is very different to harmaline which adds fire to psilocybin; moclobemide closes down and controls; the psilocybin manifests in very, very slow snap shots and comes across very differently to normal so I felt lost ?€“ it was so unfamiliar in character I couldn?€™t just go with it, plus the antidepressant quality seemed to mean it was harder to break out into a proper happier or sadder state and the body was uncomfortable from the meds effects. (Moclobemide is safe and I found it more tolerable than most antidepressants but still I had those general unpleasant side effects and emotions from it.)
It wasn?€™t that the trip was that strong even (the potentiation isn?€™t as great as with harmaline which is psychedelic itself) but I couldn?€™t get past it. I lay in bed but the internal landscape was nothing like mushrooms at all. I went out to watch and listen to the starlings and so on but nothing could shift me.
The feeling got stronger ?€“ time was at a near stand still ?€“ my body was panicky although I knew the combo was harmless ?€“ I wasn?€™t worried about reversible MAOI dangers or any of that total poo. I wasn?€™t really in a loop ?€“ I was rational but just felt wrong.
What an idiot thing to do; I felt so, so bad and just wanted it to end and wasn?€™t sure how strong or long it would be with the moclobemide in there. I was becoming distraught. I took valium.
?€?..
That helped calm me but it never helped the ghastly body feeling; this is common on mushrooms but seemed amplified in someway.
Later I took etizolam which also helped a little but neither really helped like if I was just having a bad time ?€“ I lay in bed; I was calm and knew I was safe and it would carry on wearing down but everything just felt horrid in the system and the psilocybin just enhanced that and vice versa. Without moclobemide I think I could have rode out or shifted gear but my mind had felt trapped in the antidepressant corridor. I also feel the benzos although effective had less positive affect.
The passage of time and more etizolam and I was eventually repaired. Also worth noting moclobemide didn?€™t seem to extend the duration like harmaline at least seems to.
I certainly won?€™t ever use moclobemide as a co-medication or indeed will I willingly take SSRIs, SNRI tricyclics or any other vile antidepressants again ever. By and large they are horrible entities.
This isn?€™t to disregard the combo completely, far from it in fact ?€“ I and others have done it successfully and as I have stated mushrooms have for me personally difficult to manage qualities. It is interesting how much moclobemide alters psilocybin?€™s psychological manifestation, which alone may raise curiosity to some. It also begs the question how might other MAOI or RIMAs alter the experience, but I will leave that research to others should their interest be piqued; it really isn?€™t for me; personally for me the harmalas fulfill the role better but I have no very tangible intentions to consume mushrooms ever again.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_moclobemide
substancecode_maois
substancecode_pharms
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
This time I felt I made a mistake; there are two historical facts here; I used tons of mushrooms when younger and often to some very good effect, enjoyment and learning, but for a good deal of that twenty plus years they left me somehow wanting more; they couldn?€™t hold a candle to (my main favourite) the diamond-like LSD and were often "stupefying, muddy, chaotic, emotionally unstable." to quote someone else, and they rarely broke through to anything of major value. They seemed, to be a bit perhaps a little unfair, a hey-nonny folk psychedelic, often fairytale like. Beyond the early visionary stage I don?€™t find the overall feel of them pleasant and the capricious nature has on many occasions produced extreme agitation and schizzy personality change. I have had bouts of ranting aggression on mushrooms which have been frightening. Apart from that I often came out feeling short changed and sometimes a kind of dislike of them and at times felt like they had a personal vendetta against me ?€“ the psilocybin experience seemed in someway contrived and not entirely convincing, but I related totally to them as conscious entities on this paranoid level. I have also collapsed in a heap in a total black out from them early on much to my peers?€™ distress.
When I started upping the doses with harmaline/harmine it seemed to help the experience along a lot (since on some level the experience generally fell short in terms of intensity) but although the flavour and drive was different and improved they were still dark and played tricks, till finally pushing it on a huge dose on top of the MAOIs I hit an awful double bind bad trip worse than any of the other psilocybin double binds I?€™d hit and I went down in flames.
I had a nervous breakdown. I was ill for quite a while; I wouldn?€™t lay this all at the mushrooms?€™ door but it was the major milestone in my descent. I really don?€™t remember much, but was hell to live with. I developed and started to take to ?€˜logical?€™ conclusion some bizarre nihilistic views of the structure of reality which condemned me to a desolate, hopeless and painful existence. I went back on various antidepressants for years to come. I stopped tripping completely, carried on compulsively smoking simply huge amounts of dope and took regular opium and had regular meltdowns.
Nearly a decade on my long-suffering girlfriend said ?€˜you never told me what happened on that trip.?€™
Years later I came off the useless meds and started experimenting with various psychedelics once more and, as before, found that much more therapeutic, life affirming and all round useful than the standard meds.
I even ventured back cautiously for a few more mushroom trips; such a major psychedelic I didn?€™t want to leave on a bad note, I worked up relatively slowly; the trips were quite good and an attempt to make peace with them, but I still didn?€™t like them or value them as I did other compounds and I had sort of come to the point where I thought once again I will give up on them ?€“ face facts; they just don?€™t quite work for me.
The other historic fact was the meds themselves?€“ I had been through lots of antidepressant medications in my life and hated them; they stopped you feeling; a grey nothingness, precluding genuine emotions whilst still allowing some of the bad feeling; in fact they felt bad in and of themselves ?€“ always noticeable in the body even after the first few weeks when side effects were meant to stop being felt; in the stomach, the nerves and the psyche they were glowering away with a uneasy closeted there-ness; a not yourself-ness, a locked in a box away from the world-ness. I fucking hated antidepressants with a vengeance.
So here I was feeling that grey psychiatric dulled out haze again, that ?€˜we?€™re in your whole system?€™ again with no proper up or down, just the dirge and whoopie those dark tricky negative mushrooms are coming on. Why the fuck did I ever think this was a good idea?
It is possible the greyness I could have sat out, or maybe the psilocybin separately , but together they felt awful. How much was just the mushrooms I am not sure; they tend toward a shambolic drunkenness, enervation and disagreeable fatigue anyway and mentally they undo me. Rereading this it had pretty regular hallmarks of psilocybin.
Moclobemide is very different to harmaline which adds fire to psilocybin; moclobemide closes down and controls; the psilocybin manifests in very, very slow snap shots and comes across very differently to normal so I felt lost ?€“ it was so unfamiliar in character I couldn?€™t just go with it, plus the antidepressant quality seemed to mean it was harder to break out into a proper happier or sadder state and the body was uncomfortable from the meds effects. (Moclobemide is safe and I found it more tolerable than most antidepressants but still I had those general unpleasant side effects and emotions from it.)
It wasn?€™t that the trip was that strong even (the potentiation isn?€™t as great as with harmaline which is psychedelic itself) but I couldn?€™t get past it. I lay in bed but the internal landscape was nothing like mushrooms at all. I went out to watch and listen to the starlings and so on but nothing could shift me.
The feeling got stronger ?€“ time was at a near stand still ?€“ my body was panicky although I knew the combo was harmless ?€“ I wasn?€™t worried about reversible MAOI dangers or any of that total poo. I wasn?€™t really in a loop ?€“ I was rational but just felt wrong.
What an idiot thing to do; I felt so, so bad and just wanted it to end and wasn?€™t sure how strong or long it would be with the moclobemide in there. I was becoming distraught. I took valium.
?€?..
That helped calm me but it never helped the ghastly body feeling; this is common on mushrooms but seemed amplified in someway.
Later I took etizolam which also helped a little but neither really helped like if I was just having a bad time ?€“ I lay in bed; I was calm and knew I was safe and it would carry on wearing down but everything just felt horrid in the system and the psilocybin just enhanced that and vice versa. Without moclobemide I think I could have rode out or shifted gear but my mind had felt trapped in the antidepressant corridor. I also feel the benzos although effective had less positive affect.
The passage of time and more etizolam and I was eventually repaired. Also worth noting moclobemide didn?€™t seem to extend the duration like harmaline at least seems to.
I certainly won?€™t ever use moclobemide as a co-medication or indeed will I willingly take SSRIs, SNRI tricyclics or any other vile antidepressants again ever. By and large they are horrible entities.
This isn?€™t to disregard the combo completely, far from it in fact ?€“ I and others have done it successfully and as I have stated mushrooms have for me personally difficult to manage qualities. It is interesting how much moclobemide alters psilocybin?€™s psychological manifestation, which alone may raise curiosity to some. It also begs the question how might other MAOI or RIMAs alter the experience, but I will leave that research to others should their interest be piqued; it really isn?€™t for me; personally for me the harmalas fulfill the role better but I have no very tangible intentions to consume mushrooms ever again.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_moclobemide
substancecode_maois
substancecode_pharms
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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