Thank you all for cheering me up. It really means a lot.
Yesterday I was a bit zombified from all the antispychotics they gave to me. I went to see my primary doctor to adjust my medication because of the pharmacy contract which prevents other doctors than those who work at our local health center to prescribe CNS and psyche affecting drugs to me.
Currently I am on Abilify 15mg which was upped from 5mg, Lamictal came as a new medication as well as lithium and Depakote. Oxycodone was titrated to 20mg three times a day from 20mg twice a day. Benzos were started again and now it is clonazepam 2mg twice a day. It is quite a cocktail and zombifies a bit. It as well as gives an erectile dysfunction but that is not so important at the moment as there is time for that later and there are other ways to get intimate
I just try to relax and not do much and I couldn't even do a lot as these drugs keeps me grounded to a sofa mostly.
Psychiatrist had a theory that the anxiety from waiting to start ORT combined to quitting benzos decreased the trigger threshold of PTSD episode and the adrenaline reaction caused my bipolar to turn into manic episode with psychotic symptoms. She said that I have a great knowledge of myself as well as alot of willpower to be able to understand that I am having psychotic episode and can differentiatenwhat is real and what is not. Quite often that isn't the case and people go along with the psychotic symptoms believing they are real and don't have any feeling of being sick.
Artemisia had a huge role keeping me in reality and I can't thank enough her for doing what she did although she just says that it is not a biggie.
I am looking forward to stop those strong antipsychotics.
Yesterday evening I despite the drugged feeling managed to start painting a big scratch build meaning built from carton, plastic sheets, straws etc stuff available in a normal household.
You can see before painting that it was built just from scrap parts.
Yesterday evening I although managed to paint a big scratch build meaning built from carton, plastic sheets, straws etc stuff available in a normal household.