• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Recovery Journal

VE, you bet I'll be here. I owe this place my life. You are a big part of that and I will be here when you need me.

Energy levels are great today, but I also slept for nearly 12 hours! I took some more Lope today too which doesn't seem to be doing anything and I'm happy about that.

I'm very surprised by my brain and body. I must've really been ready to call it quits. No real cravings (at least nothing debilitating) and no real depression. Helps to be surrounded by love. I'm lucky.

Anyone can do this if they are ready. Period.
 
Congrats, broseph. Your positivity and outlook on the future is awesome! I apparently don't have it in me. Just railed 3 blues as a matter of fact. Dark times. I want out but reading your thread has made me want to give it 1 more shot. I'm going off the grid for a bit to try and beat this bullshit before it buttfucks me into forever darkness. Again, I'm very happy and proud of you for getting this far. 14 years is a fucking eternity and you've been brilliant with your approach.
Later
 
You'll get there in the end, Stickdude! I've tried and failed quitting a thousand times before. You only need to succeed once..
 
Stick, you got it dude. Just make sure you really want it. I knew it was for real this time for me when I went through my phone and started deleting numbers and didn't even hesitate. A few months ago, I would've said "well what if I need to talk to them at some point?" Which we know is bullshit. Fortunately I haven't had my own scripts in 3 years, so once I deleted a few people, I couldn't have gotten ills if I wanted to. Which I think was key. Because there will always be "those" moments.

Just do it when you're ready and fully commit man. You got this.

Day 15 and all I wanna do is fucking celebrate. I feel so good.
 
14YearsOfFlux said:
Day 15 and all I wanna do is fucking celebrate. I feel so good.
Click to expand...

Yay! What a great thing to read this morning! I imagine that freedom has to feel amazing. Keep it up Flux, if you feel this good on day 15, just imagine how good you will feel on day 30, 45, 60, etc.

Stickman, Flux and the others are right. If you want this, you can do it.

- VE
 
Day... 18? And man I'm so happy. The huge thorn in my side now is energy level. It's not atrocious but it's looooooow.

I'm gonna start a pretty intense exercise regimen tomorrow ramping up over the course of a week.

Any good suggestions for increasing my energy? Aside from time passing?
 
Flux -

By my count, you are at day 20 - and I know my count isn't the one that matters. I just know you were at day 15 on the 20th. So that would put you at day 20 on the 25th. Not trying to correct you - I just want you to get every day you worked so hard for!

As far as energy - I think exercise is your best tool. Are you taking a good multivitamin? Also, I've heard that getting enough magnesium is super important - something about how magnesium in your body is what turns glucose into energy, so if the magnesium is low, so is the energy. Also, vitamin b-12 is said to help increase energy.

Flux, recovery suits you. You are doing so awesome, it's amazing to watch (ok, fine, it's amazing to read)! 20 days is such a huge accomplishment and something to be proud of!! But try not to expect too much too soon. I think that it will take you awhile to get back to "normal" energy levels - no matter how hard you exercise or how many supplements you take. Sometimes we have to be content with moving forward day by day in the PAWS stage.

Keep it up, Flux, you will get where you want to be in time!

- VE
 
Flux this has been so cool to read over, I have so much respect for you due to the fact I've gone through this twice without any narcotic taper meds. The majority of the physical symptoms had comletely subsided by days 8-9, although the lack of sleep was starting to send me over the edge. I'm so glad I hung in there because 14 days in a started to feel absolutely fantastic and was beginning to get a couple hours of sleep every night. By day 30 I felt completely human again and was getting an amazing 8-9 hours of sleep each night with NO MEDICATION whatsoever. Anyone can accomplish this if you seek support from fellow addicts and habitually remind yourself that this too will pass.

Congratulations again man!

ES
 
Wow, I came across this thread "randomly", (I don't believe in coincidences), and I'm so grateful!!

Flux, I can say without a doubt, this story will live on to inspire SO many people!! Your struggle was so "real" I could almost feel it myself! Thank you so much for sharing this!

God bless and good luck!
 
Good morning blue light!

It?s been almost two years and I had to come here and share my victory. I have remained clean... after 14 years of tearing my world down, I?ve remained clean.

I?m healthy, I?m kickboxing again, i lost 20 pounds of fat and gained my muscle mass back, my wife and I and my son have never been closer, I recently stepped into a new career and things are going well.

I came here to share this: Different things work for different people. For me, it wasn?t Jesus or AA, it was the love of my family, fitness and a desire to be the best me that has kept me alive.

STAY STRONG. If I can do it, so can you.

I love you all. Message me if you need anything.

- Flux
 
Oh, man, Flux, this is such great news!!:)

<3<3<3 Made my day reading this! I hope you find ways in your life to share some of your experience and knowledge with others still struggling. Pop in here from time to time and give inspiration.;)<3
 
Flux, your post is just what I needed to read, at the exact time I needed it. I am on day 3 of no opiates, subs or kratom. My last dose was .5 on Saturday. Today is hard, but I if I can make it through, then I get to be at day 4.
 
KraziKat said:
Flux, your post is just what I needed to read, at the exact time I needed it. I am on day 3 of no opiates, subs or kratom. My last dose was .5 on Saturday. Today is hard, but I if I can make it through, then I get to be at day 4.
Click to expand...

YOU GOT THIS. First couple of weeks are going to test your resolve but I promise you, you can pop out the other side. At night when it gets the darkest, it will be hard. It will be the hardest thing you?ve ever done. Just keep breathing and try to stay calm.

...saying this now, words don?t really encompass what I KNOW you?re going through but if it?s ANY solace, know that I?m only a post away and YOU CAN DO THIS.
 
Man this is so inspiring!! Thanks for giving the update- im 5 days on a new journey and man its tough but this helps me see past it- the short term pain for long term gain...
 
Congratulations!! Inspiring and just what we needed to hear. Thanks for coming back for an update because most people don't.

Was it the intense exercise that gave you the energy and mental strength to pull through PAWS?? Our stories are very similar. Even had a friend crawl through a pharmacy ceiling and was discharged from methadone the same year as you but got back on. PAWS fatigue and depression always get the best of me when I get clean... Meditation, cardio, affirmation and pursuing life with a passion are my new prescription for brain fog,depression and fatigue.
 
Yeah the excercise was crucial. I grew up boxing so I knew what I was capable of and I just made it a game to push myself back to a high level. Now I?m addicted to excercise which some may say isn?t healthy, mentally, but I don?t care. It saved my life. The energy thing was TOUGH.... long story short, I ended up cutting caffeine intake to one cup of coffee per day and eliminating all sugar. It helped major.

If I may, there are a few supplements I suggest. A company called Onnit makes two of my dailies. One is called Alpha Brain, it?s a nutropic and the other is called New mood which is a 5-HTP supplement. Both of these have been critical on those slow days.

I?ll be around, no question. It?s the least I could and now that I?m to a point where I can come on this forum without the itch, I just wanna help where I can
 
Hi guys.

How is everyone? I just hit the two year mark so I wanted to come by and offer some words of encouragement and tell you all to stay strong. It?s possible. I didn?t think it was, but it is. You can beat this shit. It sucks, it will be the hardest thing you undertake, but it can be done.

Thank you all for helping me through it.
 
Thanks for this thread! I read it yesterday and I appreciated your attitude through that so much!
Your sense of humor was wonderful and similar to my thinking recently.
I am very proud of you.
Well done!

It is so nice to hear of success stories!

Enjoy your beautiful family my friend.
You are very blessed to have such a great wife! Wow!
That is what is important in this life.
Beautiful relationships and care for yourself and others.
 
Just checking in. I hope everyone is well. Please message me if you need to talk. Though I rarely check in, I still receive email notifications.

Love you all. Keep fighting.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top