Public Speech Anxiety Help

[caden_g59]

All my life ever since I remember, I have been an amazing public speaker, and the class clown. I loved giving presentations because I made them funny but still got to the point. I was totally fine speaking in front of groups (big or small) for even hours. Then, all that went away.

My second day of sophomore year. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember exactly what I did.

It's my own fault I have public speech anxiety. Here's what happened.

As I walked into my 5th hour class (21st Century Applications) I chose a seat next to my homie where I sat the day before. As most classes do, on the first day everybody kind of does a brief introduction to their classmates. We were doing 2 truths and a lie. At first, my 2 truths were "I skate", and "I have a dog". My lie was undetermined. I told my friend, but he was like "nah dawg say something about the time you got arrested for spice at school," and I was like fuck it okay. So I stood up, and I said "I skate, I got arrested, and I like New Jersey". Right after I finished my sentence I realized what I had just said to class full of 30 people that I barely knew. All of the sudden my haart started pounding, my face turned red, I was sweating like crazy, I could barely breathe, and my voice was very cracky. I was beyond embarassed. And to make matters worse my teacher kept asking questions about when I got arrested. I just sat down and he told me to stand back up. I wanted to die. From that poijt forward I have been terrified of public speaking. Today was the first day of my junior year, and I'm currently sitting in the bathroom when I should be in Clay I, which is my 7th hour class. Last class of the day. The rest of the day I've been fine. Sorry for the long story.

I need some way to cope with or diminish this problem. Ever since this happened, I've become much more suicidal and my depression takes over. I can't handle this anymore. I take Xanax recreationally to get fucked up. I know that's anxiety medication but I don't know if my parents will give the doctor the O.K. to prescribe it to me given my past experiences with drugs. I've been caught multiple times. I've heard beta blockers such as Inderal (propranolol) work very well. But like I said I don't know if my parents will let me. I'm 16 and will be 17 in about a month. I deep breathe but that never helps. I try to face my fears I really do. I did today. But for some reason this one is the most scary. Please help me.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Can you talk to someone about the anxiety you get or how you're suicidal? Like a counselor, therapist, friend, or family member?

Getting nervous about public speaking before you give a speech is normal and a lot of people who have jobs which require public speaking get anxiety or are nervous about it before they give a speech in public and this includes teachers, business people, etc.

Do not beat yourself up about what you said in class. You're in highschool and people are going to forget about it within a day or two, or by the end of the week in a few days. Plus, it's not like you were required to tell which one of your statements was true.

 

[herbavore]

Sounds like you hit a raw nerve over feelings about the arrest (which no doubt was traumatic). Using xanax (or any thing like it on a regular basis often creates more problems than it solves so I wouldn't advocate for going there at this point). I, too, have heard of people using beta blockers for specific circumstances like public speaking but again, why not try first to rebuild what you naturally had going for you (which is still in you somewhere)? Sometimes people find that saying something vulnerable out loud will be cathartic and freeing but it can also back-fire and you find that you feel exposed in a way that knocks you off center. If you analyze exactly what happened in the classroom it has everything to do with the judgment around getting arrested. To me that says that you probably still feel some pretty deep shame about it. This is a result of the War on Drugs mentality which infuses anything to do with substance experimentation (especially in adolescence) with heavy moral stigma. I'm sure that you already understand that intellectually but incorporating that knowledge emotionally is the tricky part. Before you try talking to your parents about medication, maybe you could ask them about talking to a therapist that is skilled in teaching mindfulness and CBT techniques. These are both practical and effective ways to confront anxiety-thinking. IMO class-clowns are what make life worth living so you just need to re-establish your center and get back to making class more fun for everyone. Doing it yourself without believing you need a magic pill will serve you much better in the long run. BTW, do you smoke pot? Sometimes that can contribute greatly to anxiety.

 

[Vagina Lover]

I have found that just biting the bullet and starting to talk is the best way. You get better each time. It's kinda like kissing a girl or making love. Butterflies to begin with, followed by relief.

In my last proper position, I was giving inductions to a site that was contaminated with poisonous gases, asbestos, explosives, etc. It was also in the middle of the city. (just quietly, I think there was a reason that I was the youngest person on the site - most likely because a highly experienced site engineer would probably run from a job like this - but I still learned a lot)

Anyway, I used to wake up at 5:30am to get to work at 6am to give inductions to the contractors on site for the day. A lot of them were older than me and had been around the block a few times, but they actually were mostly kind and would point things out to me. That's the plus about biting the bullet - you can only learn how to publicly speak from experience, even if it involves getting embarrassed a couple of times.

I'm currently learning how to be a diving instructor and have to give lessons. When I am not giving lessons, I usually need to guide, which involves an introduction and update of diving skills. Most importantly, I forget these skills in the heat of the moment sometimes. But I usually would very quickly remember when I have made a mistake, but don't dwell on it too much.

Just learn as you go.

If worse comes to worse, and I am not advocating using substances to calm you, but if you are prone to the shakes and sweats, there are non-addictive substances like beta-blockers which may help reduce stage fright, but that's the soft option in my opinion.

 

[caden_g59]

Yes I do smoke weed but not a whole lot. It's too much of a hastle and I would take psychedelics or opiates anyday over weed. Also, I do try to fix this naturally. I try to do as much public speaking as I can but not enough to make me have a panic attack. One of my teachers literally just asked me if I was anxious in front of the whole class. That made it even worse.