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EADD-Heroin-Discussion-v-XXIII-New shit - same old problems

I know a guy with a diamorphine script , he was the last person The infamous Dr brewer scripted before he was struck off.
The guys 62 years old been using 41 years and is now happy and content ,all his chaotic years are long gone he went back to uni/study or whatever and is now a successful web designer.
He's had testicular cancer , lost both his balls. But he's one happy content mother fucker. You'd never in a million years think he's a junkie its just who within the powers that be really gives a fuck ?
 
I only had half a bag yesterday, but I was up from around 5 feeling rough wasn't the worse but it was still horrible when I have got to play happy familys.

I need this sub script, pronto!! Not even a week out and I have got myself a habit again, trying to live a double life. I dunno why I do this to myself. I have a good life I shouldn't want opiates but I do. Something about how it makes me feel like a champ, life seems much better, without it I feel empty.

Knocked the vallys on the head from yesterday because a bad thing would of been waiting to happen. But I think I done good on managing my doses. Kept the head and enjoyed them. Didn't end up running about with the bandit head on.
 
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finally managed to score, its been two weeks since my last blast but ive been maintaining with bupe so probs not gonna feel much..
got .2 of light for free tho!
 
If you wanna get off opiates completely then it'll happen when you start to think of them the same way you do with stims, i.e. the high isn't worth it anymore. What it takes to get you there depends on your own life circumstances though.

Actually.... as simple as it seems, I never quite thought of it this way before. I've never been into serious daily stim use, but from about age 19 - 22 I would binge (sometimes heavily, but mostly sessions didn't exceed 48 hours) on something like a weekly to fortnightly basis. As time went on, university became less easy to breeze through and I needed to start working to earn my money, so suddenly it became a lot harder to keep up this sort of stim use as the effects, sleep loss, appetite issues and comedowns would interfere with keeping up with responsibilities. Now that I think of it, it was at this time that my drug tastes made a swift shift towards benzos, dissociatives and opiates, for the exact reason that it seemed to me that they were a great means to satisfy my craving for getting well and truly fucked while allowing me to avoid the annoying and interfering negative effects of my previously favoured stims, empathogens and long acting psyches.

Obviously that didn't go quite to plan....

I guess its easy to put the negative effects and comedowns of opiates and benzos out of mind as during active use, these negative effects are alleviated by taking more of the drugs. But eventually when you inevitably have to stop taking the drugs for whatever reason, the comedown is so much more devastating, crippling, soul crushing and extended than any stim comedown.

When I plan to use stims, I am anticipating the comedown as much as the high as I know its all part of the package. When I decide to use heroin or the likes, all I am thinking about is the positives..... Any eventual withdrawals that might occur from extended use seems too distant to worry about until its too late.
 
I've never been into serious daily stim use, but from about age 19 - 22 I would binge (sometimes heavily, but mostly sessions didn't exceed 48 hours) on something like a weekly to fortnightly basis. As time went on, university became less easy to breeze through and I needed to start working to earn my money, so suddenly it became a lot harder to keep up this sort of stim use as the effects, sleep loss, appetite issues and comedowns would interfere with keeping up [...]

I had a very similiar situation to you mate, but in my case the stims actually helped me through my grueling work schedule. ha i'd be folding £150 shirts and taking up/in people's suits rushing my tits off! but yeah as you say the crash was just so bad, if I didn't have any benzos I sometimes went to A&E (first name terms with most of the staff at Brighton Hospital).

and i sometimes used heroin for the comedown too, yeah...
 
I used to fuck with stims, loved em' but junk is number one nothing compares, that's at least what it feels like and I wish it didn't. Why I feel like I need opiates to live a life that isn't bad, I have got things going for me, but I feel life isn't what it should be without h, I know I am ruining my life here but I can't do without.

But I believe sub can be a great help to me. I had a 3 month run at it 2 years ago. It made me feel good like a didn't want or need opiates and I still had life in me so I made a school boy error and thought I had beaten the demon, I didn't realise how I felt was the sub. Within a week I had a junk habit again. I just stayed with it and went onit big time because I was on bail and was defo getting a little while. Went to jail got clean, got a habit with subs/opiates. Got clean, got a habit. I got in touch with addiction and was told I wouldn't have enough time left to work with (I had 4 weeks left) and they don't put guys on sub for leaving, which they don't. But I was told because I was leaving with a habit if I phoned up my local addictions and explained I would get seen pretty fast, that never happened, I have been told I need to wait up to 4 weeks for a script. So till then I need to use. Wish I was on it already, am not even smokin' my gear I am sniffin' it because I don't want the foil fixation again, only had a few toots since I came out last week. Don't want caught up in the foil ritual. I know people are iffy with sniffin' #3 but that's how I first start taking and it worked well, too well actually. Now when I sniff I fluff it out put a bag into 2 lines and one up each nostril, easy peasy. I get a belt every time. The other day I smoked one and got no where near the bang I did with sniffin' the same gear, I still prefer smoking it, but sniffin' works well, if not a bit dodgy for an OD if you make a blunder
 
In the past i've had mixed results with snorting #3, sometimes it works wonders, better than smoking, other times I may have just but sand up my nasal passage.

I've usually found it works better with the type that resembles a kind of dark coco powder.. light brown stuff always seems better to smoke.

I've been clean of H for a week now and Subs for two nearly, I still have mild chills and my stomachs just about back to normal. At work though I'm really starting to wonder how the fuck people get on with their lives and do the stuff they do everyday without going crazy. I try to remember what it was like before I first started hitting H hard, all I can remember is being severely depressed and suicidal for months on end.

Funnily enough I don't feel that way at all anymore, several years of associating with what many would consider the "dregs" of society and partaking in the unacceptable past time seems to have pretty well callused over any mental hang ups I used to have.

I gave a tenner to a beggar I know the other day who looked like he was starting a rattle and my girlfriend said something about "should give him food instead, he'll just use the money on drugs" and I said "yes I know, that's why I gave it to him, he doesn't want to be patronised" which made me look like a bit of a dickhead though people who haven't been desperate before don't understand
 
In the past i've had mixed results with snorting #3, sometimes it works wonders, better than smoking, other times I may have just but sand up my nasal passage.

I've usually found it works better with the type that resembles a kind of dark coco powder.. light brown stuff always seems better to smoke.
Hypothesis: There could be an adulterant in the darker gear that increases its ability to enter via the nasal mucous membrane. Where's Sprout when you need him for a quick biochemical question?
I gave a tenner to a beggar I know the other day who looked like he was starting a rattle and my girlfriend said something about "should give him food instead, he'll just use the money on drugs" and I said "yes I know, that's why I gave it to him, he doesn't want to be patronised" which made me look like a bit of a dickhead though people who haven't been desperate before don't understand
Patronised, ex-bloody-xactly. Anyway, you gave him the tenner. It was his money, and his choice of what he was going to spend it on, not yours and not your girlfriend's either. If something comes with conditions, it's not really a gift -- it's a stick that you are using to beat them with to make them behave a certain way that you want. I'm not sure I would want to accept such a thing, and just hope I am never desperate enough not to be able to refuse it.

You know that famous psychology experiment where they offer a kid a sweetie and say You can take that sweetie now if you want it; but if you leave it alone for 5 minutes without touching it, you can have another sweetie as well ? Well, sometimes, just sometimes, one sweetie right now is a better deal than two sweeties, three hundred million of the longest, most agonising microseconds ever in the future. And you can probably never really totally understand that, unless you have ever actually experienced a real life one-sweetie-now situation yourself.
 
Hypothesis: There could be an adulterant in the darker gear that increases its ability to enter via the nasal mucous membrane. Where's Sprout when you need him for a quick biochemical question?Patronised, ex-bloody-xactly. Anyway, you gave him the tenner. It was his money, and his choice of what he was going to spend it on, not yours and not your girlfriend's either. If something comes with conditions, it's not really a gift -- it's a stick that you are using to beat them with to make them behave a certain way that you want. I'm not sure I would want to accept such a thing, and just hope I am never desperate enough not to be able to refuse it.

You know that famous psychology experiment where they offer a kid a sweetie and say You can take that sweetie now if you want it; but if you leave it alone for 5 minutes without touching it, you can have another sweetie as well ? Well, sometimes, just sometimes, one sweetie right now is a better deal than two sweeties, three hundred million of the longest, most agonising microseconds ever in the future. And you can probably never really totally understand that, unless you have ever actually experienced a real life one-sweetie-now situation yourself.

I was more pieved as the same guy had gone out of his way for me a couple of times when i'd been in dire straights,. I didn't really appreciate the generalisation at the time.

I imagine it is a great deal to do with the adulterants, I've only ever really encountered that coco type stuff when ordered (it usually seems much stronger than your standard street stuff), once with a dealer, but usually it's the light tan stuff that is in very unstable brown rocks/clumpy dust that if you touch will crumble and stick to everything. It's amazing how it seems to change, I've seen it as rock hard tiny pebbles too that you'd almost need a hammer to break. And once a kind of hard fools gold type texture with several shades of brown in it, that I was told was the strongest gear such and such had ever had (maybe IV as he took it) though it didn't do much for me smoking it.
 
Megafucked up here at the mo,

got a new local connec, some woman with big bags of quite good, grabbed one n yep, ronseal in action, deffo did what it said on the tin, on way home got a call from the poles as they were engaged earlier and the runner basically gave me a bag for nothing, apologied for being late the other day and ran off, not sure if he mistook me or something but what a fuckin touch!!

best bit coming tho, as i got home walked into kitchen to see a letter from holland addressed to one of the ex tennants ( good opsec there ;) and inside was a g of absolute fire gear, so all in all,

YES today is a good day

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Sometimes in the past I have thought I should have got more out that by sniffin. But for my first 7/8 month all I did was sniff it and I was in bliss for them month, life was a good place to be. Me getting those feelins maybe because I was new to the game. I started smoking, that came with its own problems, foil fixation etc. I kept getting rumbled because the noise (I may have the chance of a toot tonight)

But as I have been saying this little run at it is just to my sub comes along.

That's the last 2 mornings up really early, yesterday I was up from 5, and today was up from just before 7 and I had took valium last night just though they helped ease of any mid W/D's I had as I hadn't bit of mother superior from around 11 o'clock yesterday morning. But I wasn't feeling great by half 5ish, so the valium helped me forgot about my mild W/D's and I even had enough energey to play familys, which is what I always want!!!

But today, as still no sign of this addictions getting in touch, I am forced to maintain myself. Today I got 3 and 25 valiums. My missus is going out to stay with her mum so I have a little chilled time, and one of my last before my sub, and it isn't a lot. Though I do have a couple of strongbow cans I might pollish off, never been one for taking h and drinking alchol, what's your veiws?
 
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My missus did end up going away, so I had 3 bazookas, I smoked the 3 of the and am left thinking that would of been better snorted, this is the same stuff I have been sniffin and wasn't want to get back into toot but tonight was a one-off, there is meant to be smoking kit??? its still not bad mind you, decent actually just the effects are a lot better sniffed, tomorrow mornings will be sniffed for sure,

EDIT: am enjoying the toot now but think the sniffins been hitting me hard and its constantly the same gear
 
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I had gone the whole of July without so much as a whiff of the beetle, but yesterday's events changed all that. Jess is home after nearly a month and a half in hospital, and wanted me to score for her. My original plan was to score 2 g. and send her a 'teenth, but somehow -- perhaps cemented by a forthcoming visit to the dentist this weekend -- I blurted out "an eighth, please". An all-nighter ensued; then straight to work in a taxi, and a day spent trying not to get caught nodding over my keyboard. My boss managed to modify some code I had written, which I took as a compliment to my use of meaningful variable names and comments. (Done for purely selfish reasons; I am almost certainly going to have to work on that code again myself someday, so I might as well make it easy on myself.)

Anyway, it's some powerful shit, alright. Should be easy to keep enough back for after the dentist .....
 
How good is it to wake up knowing uv got some fire gear in the other room just waiting to be put out on the foil :)) makes a change from all the misery and hardship this game can bring. Got the house to myself l, a g of #3 and some Cambodian diazepam. I relate bcf, today is going to be a good day :)
 
I did end up pretty smashed last night, but I think snortin would of saved me gear, and right now I want to keep to keep it to a minium, I phoned the addiction should be next week the app, or the very latest the week after. Need the sub to get me away from the gear so I can move on with my life it literally stops you gaining any success in anything.


Nowt better when you wake up with gear and don't need to worry, takes a strong man tho not to just sit up all night smokin it anyway
 
The only time ive snorted gear was when i was rattling in my mates car an had no materials, an i felt great within a couple o mins. Alot quicker than i epected. Imight give it a go, u guys are tempting me, tho do u feel it after a smoke or is it best to do when your not fukked, i wanna give it a fair go a get the most out of it, an if it works well then i could do wit giving the old lungs a well earned rest.
 
I used to snort #3 quite a bit. It's a bit more dangerous than smoking as you may snort too much in one go compared to titration of chasing off of foil.

It does work, never had it not.

I don't recommend it as a long term ROA - whatever was used as cuts would get into my lungs and I'd be coughing up really sordid looking black shit and wheezing like I was gonna die after a while.

Also if your gear is cut with a fent analogue it seems like a sure fire way to OD accidentally. So maybe smoke a bit first to gauge the strength.
 
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