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July Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Fireworks and Barbecue!

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PriestTheyCalledHim said:
I'm still sober here as well. I recently did something very helpful to me and that was to calculate the actual number of days I've been sober from alcohol and other drugs. To me it's motivation to keep staying sober, and not use drugs. Congrats to everyone posting in this thread, and keep up the excellent work.
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So what is the day? I am coming up on 16 months on the 10th.
 
I never liked counting days, though it is nice to know how long I have. More than 2.5yrs, sounds and feels good :)
 
It can definitely give you a boost of encouragement when you calculate your sobriety and realize you have more than expected. Personally I don't really keep track because sometimes that number can become more important than everything and when that happens youre going in the wrong direction. Or completely stagnant. Just my experience.
 
Okay I see what you're saying, and I tend to agree. I can easily get full of myself, so I have to try staying humble and in the moment. Plus counting days once you have more than a few month is hard work! All that addiction. . . I mean addition ;) 8)

How you doing today brother?
 
toothpastedog said:
I never liked counting days, though it is nice to know how long I have. More than 2.5yrs, sounds and feels good :)
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I don't like to cont days either. Though I do know the day I last drank because I was hauled off in an ambulance so I've seen the date quite a bit paying the darn bill. Working to nine months of no Booz..
 
Yeah I don't keep track of the time either. I've always been amazed by those people in AA/NA who say "I'm 2 years, 3 months, 12 days...AND 5 HOURS SOBER" (ok, maybe not down to hours) Just too lazy to actually keep track of "sober time" in that manner, honestly.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
What are your plans for this summer? %)

Stay safe!
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Keep fishing until the season ends in mid-September. After that I need to do some work in the shipyard.

Growing up the small community I spent my childhood in, the sister of one of my best friends was obsessed with me. From elementary school on up, so it started as a weird, non-sexual obsession...her brother used to make fun of me because of it, actually. I always thought she was strange & annoying, and did my best to ignore/avoid her. We ended up falling out of contact when I entered high school and didn't see each other for a good number of years. Anyway, a couple years back she stopped by my childhood home randomly when I was visiting my parents over a school break I had. We walked down to the beach near my house and smoked a joint, and I remember being blown away by how much she'd changed; she carries herself well now and I remember thinking that she was a likeable young woman, with slightly-above average looks (which means she's going to look like a lingerie model by the time I'm done with this job). I could tell that she still likes me, too. Shortly before I left to go fishing, my friend's girlfriend told me that she'd been asking about me and asked what my phone number was...so I might try and get in contact with her when I get back to civilization.

tl;dr : I plan on fucking my best friend's sister 8) That's my big summer plan, to turn her exciting fantasy into disappointing reality, HOO-RAH!

Other than that...I probably need to leave Alaska as soon as possible. There's too much temptation here...I've lived here my entire life and my roots are deep. And when I get done with my work, I'll suddenly be in possession of a considerable amount of money, and a considerable amount of free time...not good for someone like me...

manboychef said:
I know what you mean about having a hard time being healthy when you feel bad. Honestly, the meds make me moody...I am generally very easy going but sometimes I have to just excuse myself from conversations. Sometimes my girlfriend can be stubborn and because of the damage I did to my memory I have a hard time making a decent argument. It is on the tip of my tongue, I know what I am saying is right, but I just cannot say it in a cogent manner.

The memory thing is what causes me the most anger. I did that to myself and it is hard to accept. I used to be so incredibly intelligent, and not just smart, but empathetic and wise. Now those memories are all mixed up and I have a hard time accessing them. It seems like the questions do not match up with the answers in my brain. I kept thinking that commonwealth meant the common wealth of the people comes first, when in reality I was thinking of collectivist ethic. I had to wait for my brother to get here to remind me because I couldn't think of the question to ask google, let alone the answer. I find that challenging sometimes. I have pretty much stopped reading because I have a hard time remembering what I read on the same page, when I used to have a near perfect memory. I guess I better learn to accept that this is one of the things I cannot change, and I have to hold onto the hope that maybe it will get better in the future.
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I was thinking about this topic earlier ("brain fog"). In school I was also considered "academically gifted", for what it's worth...they made me take the SAT when I was 12 years old and I scored in the 98th or 99th percentile of graduating high school seniors...it was a high enough score that I got accepted to a program that John Hopkins university put on for "talented youth". (I was a lazy student but I had an unusual aptitude for standardized tests) Not to mention that in some kind of "I'm so smart"-kinda way (people who brag about how supposedly intelligent they are = major pet peeve of mine)...in fact I think this is the first time I've mentioned this anecdote on this site. Moreso along the lines of "I used to be 'smart' but now I feel like a moron". :):p Overindulgence in psychoactive substances is partly to blame (I suspect, anyway)
 
toothpastedog said:
Okay I see what you're saying, and I tend to agree. I can easily get full of myself, so I have to try staying humble and in the moment. Plus counting days once you have more than a few month is hard work! All that addiction. . . I mean addition ;) 8)

How you doing today brother?
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haha exactly. I'm procrastinating today. A lot of things. The main two being finding a job, and cutting off contact with my Ex. Again. Both need to be done post haste but damn it I can't make myself do either. It is really beginning to stress me out.

How are you?

burnt- if you decide to move away from Alaska where would you go? Do you have family in other states or would you go off on your own?
also, the best friends sister!?! Do you still have frequent contact with him?
 
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I have had strange mornings today and yesterday. I went to a Refuge Recovery meeting that I have a commitment at yesterday, and it was really amazing. Best meeting I've been to yet, some really great people there. God bless Buddhism ;) Today I'm gonna go to the Norton Simon museum with my SO, she should be over in like 30 minutes. Made a couple tasty sandwiches for us, white peaches and some kombucha my neighbor made. Should be a nice day, plus I have a meeting with all my co-mindfulness-fascilitators at UCLA tonight, so I'm stoked for that :D
 
SehrBuenoKnop said:
I live in a 3/4 house and stayed sober through my house manager and 4 other guys in the house drinking over the weekend. The house manager just got off drug court/probation and is getting kicked out at the end of July. So naturally, he doesnt give a fuck. Part of me doesnt care. You cant help someone who doesnt want to help themselves. But the other part of me wants to do something before someone starts doing opiates again. In the end, Ill probably just mid my own business.[/QUOTE
3/4 house?
Are you able to move out? Defy not a safe zone and if your worried about opiates it a matter of time if other have started drinking again after trying to quit. I wish you luck.
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Art Night Pasadena? Never heard of it. Love Art Walk in downtown the third Thursday of the month.
 
Art Night Pasadena twice a year. They have busses and shuttle. They have routes and each route has several stops. A lot of fun, been many times. My fav is Art Center and The Armory! Oh for got Pan Pacific is awesome!
 
Burnt Offerings said:
Yeah I don't keep track of the time either. I've always been amazed by those people in AA/NA who say "I'm 2 years, 3 months, 12 days...AND 5 HOURS SOBER" (ok, maybe not down to hours) Just too lazy to actually keep track of "sober time" in that manner, honestly.
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I'm 3 weeks, 1 day and 13 hours sober.
 
^ Nice, keep up the good work!

SterlingM.Archer said:
burnt- if you decide to move away from Alaska where would you go? Do you have family in other states or would you go off on your own?
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There were a couple places I was considering going to...my family/extended family is from New York and I have a couple friends back there...that'd probably be the easiest option. One of my aunts lives in southern California and she's actually invited me to come stay with/visit her in the recent past, so I might consider that too. I have a good friend who lives in the Seattle area who I can stay with. So I have a couple options.

also, the best friends sister!?! Do you still have frequent contact with him?
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Actually no, I haven't...I was quite surprised when I found out in the spring of this year that she was trying to get in touch with me. I'd forgotten all about her TBH. But my most recent memories of her (smoking weed on a beach and catching up after not having seen each other in 6 years or so) are positive so it might be something worth pursuing.

The only thing that's weird is the fact that we've known each other for such a long time and she's the sister of one of my closest friends. But...it really shouldn't be weird, when you think about it...I don't like making interpersonal relationships needlessly complicated when the basic dynamic (people who like each other and want to spend time together) should be simple, IMO

Hope everyone is having a good day!
 
I was thinking about this topic earlier ("brain fog"). In school I was also considered "academically gifted", for what it's worth...they made me take the SAT when I was 12 years old and I scored in the 98th or 99th percentile of graduating high school seniors...it was a high enough score that I got accepted to a program that John Hopkins university put on for "talented youth". (I was a lazy student but I had an unusual aptitude for standardized tests) Not to mention that in some kind of "I'm so smart"-kinda way (people who brag about how supposedly intelligent they are = major pet peeve of mine)...in fact I think this is the first time I've mentioned this anecdote on this site. Moreso along the lines of "I used to be 'smart' but now I feel like a moron". Overindulgence in psychoactive substances is partly to blame (I suspect, anyway)
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Being intelligent has done nothing for me. Well I can't say that. It has made it difficult for me to deal with the existential turmoil that is modern life, when in reality if I was less intelligent and more accepting, I could probably live a little easier. I search for meaning when in the end things just are, or are not. I am in florida now, people think I am a know it all. I say to them, if you think I am so smart then crack a book every once and awhile. Get off your phone, think critically, talk to someone smarter than you, broaden your world view, don't be racist which leads to stupidity and corruption, and lastly, arm yourself with knowledge, it is the only thing they cannot take away from you.

I would say just be careful with your "summer plan". Its cool, been there, but with a friends mom. I know that is more drastic, but well, I am only man after all. It did cause a bit of a strain on our friendship. We ended up in a fist fight, but afterwards it was all good. Thinking about how I used to be and how I am now is enough to make my head spin. I like being a caring considerate person...but I think just how careless I was with others feelings has worn on me in a negative way.

My summer plan is to get well, and get back in the kitchen.
 
It always touches a nerve when someone suggests there is something wrong with my brain/mind/ability to think. I mean, this is just something either someone who is rather unintelligent says, in which case it is essentially because they dont know better, or someone who is angry or enraged tells someone, in which case their rage and anger has contracted, in a sort of sick irony, into small mindedness.

Intelligence, smarts, intellect, IQ, whatever, I really dont think we know enough about addiction or dependency to make any sort of connection or even correlation.
 
^^^exactly my point. I was lucky I went to school mostly in syracuse. The school systems are mostly good in that city, and they actually teach you to think, and not just take a test. Humanities, art, literature, Political affairs in government, street law..etc. aren't common classes you can take down here, and I think the kids are really having a hard time for it.

Today I feel energy.
 
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