What are your plans for this summer? %)
Stay safe!
Keep fishing until the season ends in mid-September. After that I need to do some work in the shipyard.
Growing up the small community I spent my childhood in, the sister of one of my best friends was obsessed with me. From elementary school on up, so it started as a weird, non-sexual obsession...her brother used to make fun of me because of it, actually. I always thought she was strange & annoying, and did my best to ignore/avoid her. We ended up falling out of contact when I entered high school and didn't see each other for a good number of years. Anyway, a couple years back she stopped by my childhood home randomly when I was visiting my parents over a school break I had. We walked down to the beach near my house and smoked a joint, and I remember being blown away by how much she'd changed; she carries herself well now and I remember thinking that she was a likeable young woman, with slightly-above average looks (which means she's going to look like a lingerie model by the time I'm done with this job). I could tell that she still likes me, too. Shortly before I left to go fishing, my friend's girlfriend told me that she'd been asking about me and asked what my phone number was...so I might try and get in contact with her when I get back to civilization.
tl;dr : I plan on fucking my best friend's sister 8) That's my big summer plan, to turn her exciting fantasy into disappointing reality, HOO-RAH!
Other than that...I probably need to leave Alaska as soon as possible. There's too much temptation here...I've lived here my entire life and my roots are deep. And when I get done with my work, I'll suddenly be in possession of a considerable amount of money, and a considerable amount of free time...not good for someone like me...
I know what you mean about having a hard time being healthy when you feel bad. Honestly, the meds make me moody...I am generally very easy going but sometimes I have to just excuse myself from conversations. Sometimes my girlfriend can be stubborn and because of the damage I did to my memory I have a hard time making a decent argument. It is on the tip of my tongue, I know what I am saying is right, but I just cannot say it in a cogent manner.
The memory thing is what causes me the most anger. I did that to myself and it is hard to accept. I used to be so incredibly intelligent, and not just smart, but empathetic and wise. Now those memories are all mixed up and I have a hard time accessing them. It seems like the questions do not match up with the answers in my brain. I kept thinking that commonwealth meant the common wealth of the people comes first, when in reality I was thinking of collectivist ethic. I had to wait for my brother to get here to remind me because I couldn't think of the question to ask google, let alone the answer. I find that challenging sometimes. I have pretty much stopped reading because I have a hard time remembering what I read on the same page, when I used to have a near perfect memory. I guess I better learn to accept that this is one of the things I cannot change, and I have to hold onto the hope that maybe it will get better in the future.
I was thinking about this topic earlier ("brain fog"). In school I was also considered "academically gifted", for what it's worth...they made me take the SAT when I was 12 years old and I scored in the 98th or 99th percentile of graduating high school seniors...it was a high enough score that I got accepted to a program that John Hopkins university put on for "talented youth". (I was a lazy student but I had an unusual aptitude for standardized tests) Not to mention that in some kind of "I'm so smart"-kinda way (people who brag about how supposedly intelligent they are = major pet peeve of mine)...in fact I think this is the first time I've mentioned this anecdote on this site. Moreso along the lines of "I used to be 'smart' but now I feel like a moron".
Overindulgence in psychoactive substances is partly to blame (I suspect, anyway)