in a proper relationshipe with true love you make exceptions for each other
hah. that's so easy to say when you've never been in love w/ a serious addict. I am deeply in love w/ my boyfriend, I've been w/ him for 8 years, my entire adult life and most of my adolesence ...but at this point (well he's in prison again at this exact point, but when he was last out) I had to stand my ground and refuse to live w/ him or even spend much time w/ him because he's a full-time tweaker and everything about him is completely unstable and it's just so toxic and quite frankly entirely unbearable, especially since I'm clean and have been for quite a while now. several months after he was released from jail last year he relapsed and slowly (EDIT: well actually pretty damn quickly honestly) got back on the path to being the way he was the last time I saw him before he got locked up again, the way he had been for a good while then, 100% incoherently delusional and psychotic due to his drug use.
it's awful. he is SO smart, he's never had his IQ tested but as hard as it is for me to concede I know he's definitely smarter than me -- and in middle school my IQ tested in the 150s. he's SO naturally good at SO many things, almost everything he tries. he could do almost ANYTHING w/ his life and do it WELL. but the one thing he has proven time and time again that he cannot do well is use drugs, meth particularly in recent years seems to have hit him hardest of all of anything in his life.
I want to marry him. at least get engaged, we've talked about it for years and he knows the rings I'd like are only $300-500 but he's never been able to not spend that much money on drugs to buy one. I want to live in a nice house w/ him and be a functional family unit. I want to have a LIFE w/ him.
I have given him more "second" chances than I can possibly count and I'm sure that I'll give him more. because I love him. and I probably always will. but as long as he continues to live this way I'll never be able to REALLY "be with him" in any way even remotely resembling the way we want to be w/ each other.
oh and yeah -- everybody in my life has told me at one point or another on multiple occasions to ditch him and my father (as well as 2 of my 3 siblings) despises every fiber of his being (mainly for a particular incident I won't go into here) and can't know that we're still together lest he cut me off. I've been waiting years now for my boyfriend to get his shit together for more than a single period of a few months so I can prove to my dad that he's not really a bad guy and that we'll be okay together. who knows if it will ever happen?
and I personally am an EXCEPTIONALLY forgiving person especially when it comes to my boyfriend. not everyone, probably in fact most people, are as patient, forgiving and understanding as I am, especially if they've never experienced serious addiction first-hand. IMO it is EASY to see how someone could lose someone that truly loves them to their drug addiction.