Cannabiskid, I am from the school that psychedelics can teach humanity things and move us ahead. I know some people never learn anything but most do. I think your post is important.
When I was younger I worked at a country club in the early 80's. At that point in my life I had no trouble stealing as I felt as long as I wasn't hurting anyone it was ok. So one night after a party I set up I went into the liquor cabinet and stole about $400 of the money that was used at the cash bar the night before. I bought a bunch of acid, pot and mushrooms and a whole group of us went up in the mountains overnight and tripped near a campfire. As I was at the peak of the acid trip I started feeling guilty about how I obtained the money for this party. My conscience was bothering me. Aside from the guiltiness however I also felt a teacherly assurance that if I did truly learn my lesson the guilt would go away. The rest of the night was fun, and I learned right there and then that stealing was not something I could do anymore. I was taught the Golden Rule. I realized I would never want anyone to steal from me, I want to trust people. So that night psychedelics taught me some valuable lessons that I had not counted on. I was just looking for a party. I am thankful for those lessons and never stole again. I learned every action I take has a ripple effect.
If I want to look at this spiritually, then I learned I can't steal from my brothers because I don't want that done to me. If I wanted to look at this naturally, it seems Mother Nature shows us again and again that if humanity is to prosper we need to be better people to each other and not blow ourselves up and ruin our planet. There are certain laws in place.
So if you are still reading Cannabiskid, maybe it was a good thing that they mushroom caps didn't work (if that was what they were at all). Hopefully your next trip is a righteous one and you get everything you think you are looking for in a psychedelic trip. But one thing I learned is the old Bob Marley statement:
You can't run away from yourself. And deep down that is a good thing!
Life is for learning. No shame, just grow.
