• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Loneliness

Captain.Heroin said:
I've been through the relationship with an addict at least 3 times now. The person may be slightly different, they might be addicted to different drug(s), but the format of what happens does not.


People who are co-dependent tend to magnetically attract other addicts or unstable people, and it creates a cycle of instability/loneliness as you keep going through people who break apart in your very hands.
Click to expand...

This is my MO to a T. The only thing is I flip flop a lot. I go from being the user to the white knight.
 
Then again, sometimes as we grow things change, only if we allow them the space to change that is.
 
manboychef said:
This is my MO to a T. The only thing is I flip flop a lot. I go from being the user to the white knight.
Click to expand...

Yeah sometimes I did both, until I realized the other person couldn't be saved.

re: On deeper reflection on what I said before, I've done it 4 times. Two of the people were remarkably similar in almost every way and they have blended into the same boring amalgamation in my mind.
 
im there as well..i have met girls and hung out but no real connection..hell i almost felt lonelier hanging out with them than i would just sitting home alone..typical introvert problem
 
This girl is so cool! We are both awkward as hell. It is perfect :)

Plus her olive skin is to die for ;)
 
belfort said:
im there as well..i have met girls and hung out but no real connection..hell i almost felt lonelier hanging out with them than i would just sitting home alone..typical introvert problem
Click to expand...

I too am an introvert. I can be social, but I really draw my strength from quiet reflection. When I was womanizing, which is an addiction in itself, I was the loneliest I had ever been.
 
It may take time and the right mindset to be more sociable. You may be like me and just like to spend time alone...I don't consider it hellacious....more hollow than anything.
 
You cant for yourself to like something if it doesnt feel right. Try not to push yourself too hard my friend. You will be okay, even of you dont think you will be. You just need a new way of relating to yourself, and other people for that matter. You will figure this out as you go. Do not set your expectations to high. You obviously want it, so that isnt the issue. Just try and be kinder and gentler with yourself.
 
:) Good, I am glad to hear that. The wffort us what really counts. Failure is painful, but nothing provides a better oppertunity to learn and grow if you can get past any shame or remorse.
 
I talk too much as my partner says. I am lucky, been in my relationship for eleven years. The only loneliness I can relate to is that my other half does not understand addiction. Yes he knows I have a problem with Booz and I had to give it up as a personal choice. However recovery is a process and I can't get that in his head. Yes if there wil be a lot of alcohol at an event we attend he reminds me I don't drink and I say "ok" but I say this to myself everyday. He's not an addict he doesn't understand and I can't expect him to. That is where I feel lonely.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top