I just recently read a trip report of 1000ug LSD trip and it reminded me of my own experience so I wanted to share it with you guys.
I had had a lot of things going on in my life before this trip. I was sexually abused when I was a child and recently gone to the court, after 10 years the crimes happened. I had broken up with my partner that I was together for 3 years and lived together for 2 years. I just moved to a new apartment... And I had to do my bachelor's thesis at the same time. I had been extremely stressed out and depressed because of these things.
Anyway, I felt like a lot of things in my life were now over (the relationship, the trial, moving) so I thought I wanna start a new page in my life. And I wanna have that page blank.
That's why I thought it's time for a trip. I had a bottle of LSD, 10 drops was still supposed to be in the bottle. The LSD had been tested, so it was LSD for sure. I also had one temazepam pill in case things would get out of hand or in case I wouldn't be able to sleep after the trip. I was still prepared to die, like mean literally. That was my mindset and I thought I have to be prepared to die if I'm going to take a dose this big.
I asked my best friend (who is also experienced with psychedelics) to come to my place to sit me. In my new apartment I had living room and bedroom, so I asked him to stay in the living room. He was doing some school stuff there, and I could be tripping alone in the bedroom and he would be there if I needed any help.
I had no tolerance for LSD at this time since I didn't want to trip while I was under a lot of stress. But now all those things were over, and I was ready for it.
I filled the LSD bottle with 60% alcohol and had my morning drink. I think I took it around 10am.
****
It didn't take very long until I started feeling the effects, from 5 to 10 minutes only. I always get increased salivation and that particular kind of feeling in my mouth. I got it this time as well. After 15 minutes the visuals were overwhelming and getting stronger and stronger very rapidly. After about 30 minutes I went to my bedroom, put off all the lights, went into my bed and closed my eyes.
I felt really good and warm. I didn't have any fears. I felt trusting, like everything is going as it is supposed to go. Time didn't matter anymore. When I started feeling that I'm going to leave this world, I didn't panic. I just let it all go. I didn't think whether I'm going back or not, because I knew I wouldn't be coming back. Even if I didn't physically die, I wouldn't be the same anymore. There was no meaning in resisting it.
I felt my consciousness expanding all over the room, the walls, outside the house. I could see everything. The time started dividing, it wasn't linear. My consciousness existed in multiple dimensions at the same time. I saw how things happened differently in every reality. And there were tons of realities.
As my consciousness kept expanding, what I used to call "I" became merely a physical structure, I had been looking the world through that physical structure in a certain time-frame, but now I was expanded, therefore there was no "I" anymore. But I'm still going to write this in the "I" form because in our language it's impossible to describe it in any other way.
I was just observing how the world was reacting, and all the physical structures in the world were just reactions which's origins were where the world had started. The reaction was still going on, expanding, rapidly. I realized how all is part of the same expansion: How one human grows older, how they make children, how they spread their species around the world. It is just an automatic reaction, a part of the expansion that has been going on a long before us and will be going on a long after us. But this is merely what is happening in the time-frame. Time doesn't really exist. There is only the present moment, and everything that ever was and ever will be is right now.
I traveled through different dimensions and looked through different time-frames. I could see how the world started, a big bang or what ever you want to call it, an explosion, which was still continuing. Still expanding. And it was all just part of it. The reactions became more complex and more complex, because that is how it works. That is part of the expansion.
I could see how humankind was studying itself, studying the world, still not realizing the truth. We are all one. It is just one God, looking at itself, trying to figure out what it is. But we already have all the knowledge. It was so clear to me. It was almost funny to see how we were trying to understand something so simple and something we already knew, yet we were making very complex theories and explanations about it and that way making it impossible for us to understand. The more people try to explain things in words, the further they go from the truth. I could see it now. No words can describe the truth, because the truth is so much bigger than any word. The truth is singularity. Words are shattering it into pieces, taking us further from it.
I lived the lives of every living being that has ever been on earth. Every human, every animal, every insect. I have random memories from sitting in a library studying, walking on a grass field etc. but it wasn't the "little-me" but other people, but it was me, because I was everyone. I was my ex boyfriend, I was the man who abused me when i was a child. I felt their pain, their fears, their happiness. It was all me, temporary physical forms that I was looking through. Nothing more than that. But all the living is sharing the same consciousness, it's just the physical form that makes the view so narrow it looks like things are divided. But that's not the real me.
I was the universe. I was pure love. I was the evolution. I was the expansion. But this time I was going backwards. I was moving to the point where it all started, in a rapid speed.
Then everything became white.
There was nothing. But everything was there.
It was singularity.
I really have no words to describe it. It was all that is, all that ever was, all that will ever be, and yet, at the same time, it was nothing. There was no time, because time was in it, but it wasn't because it was nothing. Everything is nothing. It is all empty. Eternity.
In real life, that was probably like a flash that I saw. Probably less than a blink of an eye. But because there was no time, it was eternity. It still is.
I came back. I was in my room. I guess the flash was my peak. It was a point that one cannot go any further. It was pure nothingness, yet everything. It was who I truly am.
But now I was looking the world again through this physical shape at this particular time-frame. I remembered I had taken LSD. During the experience I had no self, so obviously I also had no idea that it was a trip. It felt just real.
I felt love. I cried. I forgave everyone, I wished only good for everyone. I forgave myself for everything I had done until now, all the bad things I had done because of ignorance. I realized I'm no better than the people who have hurt me. But I'm still as pure, as all of us are, because we are all the same.
I came out of my room. I think about 2-3 hours had passed. I could still see fractals everywhere but my head felt quite sober. I sat on the sofa next to my friend and told him about the White Light, about the singularity. He smiled and said he had experienced something like that as well, although not that overwhelming. We had a long and deep conversation, but I don't remember anymore what it was about. At the same time I was still experiencing the big bang, but I could totally focus on talking with him. He said he was surprised how normal I was.
"Wouldn't be able to tell you're not sober unless I hadn't seen you drinking from that acid bottle", he said.
"Yeah. It's all just a matter of focus. But I already saw what I was meant to see. There is no need for me to be "there" anymore", I told him. I knew that. I could still enter the full trip if I wanted, but there was no need anymore.
My friend left somewhere around 10pm. I was still completely awake and knew it would be impossible to sleep. After that I was just listening to some nice music and talking to my friends online. Around 3am I was still seeing visuals although the trip had been gone for a long time. I took the benzo because I felt quite tired and really wanted to sleep. I slept probably about 10 hours.
****
The next day I felt so good. I've never felt that good in my life. I felt like I was charged. I felt like I had a new life, like I had been reborn. This feeling lasted for months.
I had been suffering from PTSD before this trip for 10 years. After a couple of months I called the guy who abused me when I was a child. I told him I wish him all the best. He almost cried and told me he is so sorry for everything he had done. I told him that what he did was wrong, but I'm alright now and I'm ready to forgive him.
My PTSD was cured after this trip.
Now it's been about 1,5 years since this trip. I'll probably do another one with the same dose after it's time to turn a new page in my life again.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
roacode_sublingual
I had had a lot of things going on in my life before this trip. I was sexually abused when I was a child and recently gone to the court, after 10 years the crimes happened. I had broken up with my partner that I was together for 3 years and lived together for 2 years. I just moved to a new apartment... And I had to do my bachelor's thesis at the same time. I had been extremely stressed out and depressed because of these things.
Anyway, I felt like a lot of things in my life were now over (the relationship, the trial, moving) so I thought I wanna start a new page in my life. And I wanna have that page blank.
That's why I thought it's time for a trip. I had a bottle of LSD, 10 drops was still supposed to be in the bottle. The LSD had been tested, so it was LSD for sure. I also had one temazepam pill in case things would get out of hand or in case I wouldn't be able to sleep after the trip. I was still prepared to die, like mean literally. That was my mindset and I thought I have to be prepared to die if I'm going to take a dose this big.
I asked my best friend (who is also experienced with psychedelics) to come to my place to sit me. In my new apartment I had living room and bedroom, so I asked him to stay in the living room. He was doing some school stuff there, and I could be tripping alone in the bedroom and he would be there if I needed any help.
I had no tolerance for LSD at this time since I didn't want to trip while I was under a lot of stress. But now all those things were over, and I was ready for it.
I filled the LSD bottle with 60% alcohol and had my morning drink. I think I took it around 10am.
****
It didn't take very long until I started feeling the effects, from 5 to 10 minutes only. I always get increased salivation and that particular kind of feeling in my mouth. I got it this time as well. After 15 minutes the visuals were overwhelming and getting stronger and stronger very rapidly. After about 30 minutes I went to my bedroom, put off all the lights, went into my bed and closed my eyes.
I felt really good and warm. I didn't have any fears. I felt trusting, like everything is going as it is supposed to go. Time didn't matter anymore. When I started feeling that I'm going to leave this world, I didn't panic. I just let it all go. I didn't think whether I'm going back or not, because I knew I wouldn't be coming back. Even if I didn't physically die, I wouldn't be the same anymore. There was no meaning in resisting it.
I felt my consciousness expanding all over the room, the walls, outside the house. I could see everything. The time started dividing, it wasn't linear. My consciousness existed in multiple dimensions at the same time. I saw how things happened differently in every reality. And there were tons of realities.
As my consciousness kept expanding, what I used to call "I" became merely a physical structure, I had been looking the world through that physical structure in a certain time-frame, but now I was expanded, therefore there was no "I" anymore. But I'm still going to write this in the "I" form because in our language it's impossible to describe it in any other way.
I was just observing how the world was reacting, and all the physical structures in the world were just reactions which's origins were where the world had started. The reaction was still going on, expanding, rapidly. I realized how all is part of the same expansion: How one human grows older, how they make children, how they spread their species around the world. It is just an automatic reaction, a part of the expansion that has been going on a long before us and will be going on a long after us. But this is merely what is happening in the time-frame. Time doesn't really exist. There is only the present moment, and everything that ever was and ever will be is right now.
I traveled through different dimensions and looked through different time-frames. I could see how the world started, a big bang or what ever you want to call it, an explosion, which was still continuing. Still expanding. And it was all just part of it. The reactions became more complex and more complex, because that is how it works. That is part of the expansion.
I could see how humankind was studying itself, studying the world, still not realizing the truth. We are all one. It is just one God, looking at itself, trying to figure out what it is. But we already have all the knowledge. It was so clear to me. It was almost funny to see how we were trying to understand something so simple and something we already knew, yet we were making very complex theories and explanations about it and that way making it impossible for us to understand. The more people try to explain things in words, the further they go from the truth. I could see it now. No words can describe the truth, because the truth is so much bigger than any word. The truth is singularity. Words are shattering it into pieces, taking us further from it.
I lived the lives of every living being that has ever been on earth. Every human, every animal, every insect. I have random memories from sitting in a library studying, walking on a grass field etc. but it wasn't the "little-me" but other people, but it was me, because I was everyone. I was my ex boyfriend, I was the man who abused me when i was a child. I felt their pain, their fears, their happiness. It was all me, temporary physical forms that I was looking through. Nothing more than that. But all the living is sharing the same consciousness, it's just the physical form that makes the view so narrow it looks like things are divided. But that's not the real me.
I was the universe. I was pure love. I was the evolution. I was the expansion. But this time I was going backwards. I was moving to the point where it all started, in a rapid speed.
Then everything became white.
There was nothing. But everything was there.
It was singularity.
I really have no words to describe it. It was all that is, all that ever was, all that will ever be, and yet, at the same time, it was nothing. There was no time, because time was in it, but it wasn't because it was nothing. Everything is nothing. It is all empty. Eternity.
In real life, that was probably like a flash that I saw. Probably less than a blink of an eye. But because there was no time, it was eternity. It still is.
I came back. I was in my room. I guess the flash was my peak. It was a point that one cannot go any further. It was pure nothingness, yet everything. It was who I truly am.
But now I was looking the world again through this physical shape at this particular time-frame. I remembered I had taken LSD. During the experience I had no self, so obviously I also had no idea that it was a trip. It felt just real.
I felt love. I cried. I forgave everyone, I wished only good for everyone. I forgave myself for everything I had done until now, all the bad things I had done because of ignorance. I realized I'm no better than the people who have hurt me. But I'm still as pure, as all of us are, because we are all the same.
I came out of my room. I think about 2-3 hours had passed. I could still see fractals everywhere but my head felt quite sober. I sat on the sofa next to my friend and told him about the White Light, about the singularity. He smiled and said he had experienced something like that as well, although not that overwhelming. We had a long and deep conversation, but I don't remember anymore what it was about. At the same time I was still experiencing the big bang, but I could totally focus on talking with him. He said he was surprised how normal I was.
"Wouldn't be able to tell you're not sober unless I hadn't seen you drinking from that acid bottle", he said.
"Yeah. It's all just a matter of focus. But I already saw what I was meant to see. There is no need for me to be "there" anymore", I told him. I knew that. I could still enter the full trip if I wanted, but there was no need anymore.
My friend left somewhere around 10pm. I was still completely awake and knew it would be impossible to sleep. After that I was just listening to some nice music and talking to my friends online. Around 3am I was still seeing visuals although the trip had been gone for a long time. I took the benzo because I felt quite tired and really wanted to sleep. I slept probably about 10 hours.
****
The next day I felt so good. I've never felt that good in my life. I felt like I was charged. I felt like I had a new life, like I had been reborn. This feeling lasted for months.
I had been suffering from PTSD before this trip for 10 years. After a couple of months I called the guy who abused me when I was a child. I told him I wish him all the best. He almost cried and told me he is so sorry for everything he had done. I told him that what he did was wrong, but I'm alright now and I'm ready to forgive him.
My PTSD was cured after this trip.
Now it's been about 1,5 years since this trip. I'll probably do another one with the same dose after it's time to turn a new page in my life again.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
roacode_sublingual
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